My Version

Regardless of what the giant squid says, this is the way it happened.

We left Iceland intact. I didn't do any damage although I did make an idle comment that pickled herring might not be the best choice for a "national fish." And I might have mentioned that they need a larger inventory of better chocolates in their grocery stores and specialty shops. Then there was the TOTAL lack of root beer. There were no Kraft macaroni & cheese boxes anywhere AND they never heard of Twinkies.

Shocked!

This lack of Twinkies could easily qualify them as a third-world country. My apologies to the Ho-Ho fanatics. Good thing I brought my own supply and yes, I easily converted a few natives.

We flew from Iceland to Washington, D.C. where Cowboy communed with his old Seal buddies. Our hotel room reeked of testosterone so I left them to their male bonding and scooted off to the zoo.

~sigh~

I love zoos.

My favorite exhibits are the pandas and the eagles and the elephants and the tigers. The food concessions are wonderful! I ate a lot. The petting zoo was extra nice. I got to pet a baby elephant. In about a week, it will be too big so I petted like crazy. There was a curious giraffe that occasionally dipped its head down to be fed and it was love at first sight. I told the giant squid I'd have to check the homeowners association regs to see if we could have one.

He said no.

Tsk.

I may have to look into that myself. Giraffes have the most amazing eyes and eyelashes, really beautiful creatures. Surely, somewhere in the U.S., there's an "adopt-a-giraffe" program.

"I said no!"

Ya suppose he was talking to me? No, I don't think so, either.

SWAT!

Tsk.

Mr. Grumpy was not happy I went to the zoo by myself. Too bad. He was busy swapping Sealy stories with the guys. I couldn't just sit there and besides... I hadn't had a chance to commandeer his other credit cards. The one I used in Iceland was still smoking.

The weather was really damp on the 4th but we still enjoyed the fireworks display. By the time we left D.C., I was more than ready to sleep in my own bed.

The pups were delirious to see us. Well... they were happy to see me. They pretty much ignored the giant squid. He said now that we're home, things things?? will return to normal. I interpret this to mean that I need to do something heinous to his right arm in order to save my innocent butt.

I immediately left the room, walking backwards.

"What did you do, Sar?" the always suspicious Neanderthal asked.

"Me? I'm innocent, I tell you."

Truly, it's quite tacky to watch a grown man roll his eyes.

Sar