He's been in Europe, probably working a 7 - 3 shift, eating gourmet meals and spending leisurely afternoons on the beach ogling the bikini clad women. The women, in turn, are flirting like crazy and flaunting their charms at the giant squid.
I'm gonna smack him upside the head when he gets home.
Meanwhile, on the home front, I'm not sleeping much. I don't stay up too late; I get sleepy and jump into the sack with Cowpoke, the squid's clone. I sprayed the doll with Cowboy's after-shave and I snuggle up with it, put the doll's arms around me and that's okay for a while. But it doesn't whisper in my ear or pull me back into an embrace if I roll over.
I'm definitely gonna smack the giant squid upside the head for leaving me at home.
I wake up about 3 a.m. most nights. If the squid was home, he'd cuddle me back to sleep. He's not at home so I get up and eat something and then work in my studio until I'm falling on my face and fall asleep again. Sometimes I make it back to bed; other times I wake up on the futon in my studio when BullyBoy licks my face 'cause the beastie has to go out to pee.
If the squid was home this would never happen. First, I'd still be in bed; next, he'd let the dogs out. I should smack him when he gets home.
We've been eating large. We ate an entire gallon of lime sherbet - the pups and I - so when Cowboy called and asked if I've eaten anything green, I could honestly say I did and lots of it.
Taking the Husky to obedience trials next week; he's a smart pup and has learned the basic commands very quickly. He still gets naughty with the female Rott; she still bites him on the nose when he gets too familiar. I'm interviewing prospective owners for him; he'll be ready to move to his "forever" home in no time.
There's this really cute guy who runs the obedience trials... since Cowboy is away, I may have to flirt with him. If the squid was home, he'd be with me and I'd keep my distance but since he flew off to Europe and left me alone...
My neighbor, MsKeptWoman, asked me to go shopping with her. Her sugar daddy is flying in from Belgium and she needs new lingerie. I grabbed Cowboy's extra credit card - the one he said to use if I had an emergency - and went with her. I bought the prettiest under things! The only thing is... I forgot to keep track of how much I spent but since the credit card company didn't reject any of the charges, I'm guessing I didn't hit the credit limit.
I'm thinking if I wear some of the new lingerie and hold a peach cobbler in my hand... that might make the giant squid forget about the credit card bill. That's what happens when I'm left alone to fend for myself when he flies off to Europe.
I was going to get the outside deck resealed. We got a lot of rain this winter and Cowboy wanted it done while he was away. But... Nordstrom's had a huge sale on shoes... a new chocolate shoppe just opened and I wanted to support the local economy and buy a little of everything they make, the pups needed new collars, and I saw some beautiful batik fabric I had to have... And besides, men should get the decks resealed; women should spend their money.
Is that a sexist attitude?
Too bad.
And if he complains about any of this, I'm gonna smack him upside the head! (Then I'm gonna get the hell out of Dodge!)
~Sar~
Note: I haven't been able to access my email for a while. Yahoo assures me it will be fixed any minute now - that was a few days ago.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Alone Again...
Deserted.
Abandoned.
Left at the altar.
Neglected.
Cowboy went out of town - out of the country, actually. He left me to eat all the ice cream by myself. It's a monumental task but I'll do my best. I made a fresh pan of tiramisu to eat in between quarts of Rocky Road and French Vanilla.
"I expect you to eat nutritious while I'm away," the big guy said before he left.
... Hmmm... Did he say nutritious or delicious? I vote for delicious. Nobody squeal.
I'm sleeping with Cowboy's clone. It had a disastrous accident when Cowboy came home from night duty once and found me asleep with the clone's anatomically correct body sleeping behind me, its arms around me. He tossed it across the room and let the pups have a go at it. They did a canine style autopsy on it and I had a devil of a time putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. It has a few scars but "everything" has been reattached. I hate sleeping alone.
"I bought you a body pillow," the same big guy reminded me before he left. "Sleep with that."
... Uh... sure.
"And make sure you get to bed at a decent hour. I don't want you up all night on the computer."
While the cat's away...
Moving right along...
Got a new foster this week, a handsome Husky pup with those beautiful neon-blue eyes. He has no manners, some undesirable habits and has been returned to the shelter twice. Very unruly behavior.
He's bright as a whip! I let him run around like a squirrel on uppers and when he finally plopped down in front of me - exhausted and tongue hanging out - I checked him out. He's in great physical shape plus clean ears, clean teeth, wicked naughty grin.
He's a jumper and a nipper. He nipped BullyBoy.
Big mistake. BullyBoy rolled over him and sat on his head.
Not sure but I think the Rotts laughed.
Jumping is easy to cure. There are several ways. One way is a knee in a dog's chest when it jumps, the command OFF! and quickly turn your back. I don't always raise my knee - if the dog is large and heavier than me, I can injure my knee. I usually say "UH-UH!" loudly and then turn my back. It takes a few repetitions but usually takes care of the problem in no time. Naturally, the command has to be reinforced regularly if the pup slips back into the bad habit. Lots of praise (and bits of dried liver or chicken) when the pup is behaving correctly.
So... the Husky jumped my Rott, Panda. She reared up and bit his nose. That's another way to cure jumping.
We had a super Easter dinner with good friends and Passover is around the corner. I hope the giant squid will be home in time to enjoy it. If he isn't, I'll have to sacrifice the main meal and concentrate on all the desserts. I've been cooking and baking like crazy to try new recipes.
Swooooon
Passover Brownies - Passover Honey cake - Passover Lemon Cheesecake - Citrus Sponge Cake and Caramel Matzoh Crunch.
Main meal has two entrees: Veal with wild mushrooms and red wine and Passover Pot roast - both moist and delicious.
Side dishes are Apple Matzoh Kugel, the traditional hard boiled eggs, carrot ring and charoset. I generally make an apple/walnut charoset but this year, I'm adding two others - apricot/pistachio charoset, which I think is Sephardic and another made with apples/walnuts/dates/bananas and raisins. Is that healthy or what?
Not sure I'm making soup this year but there will be a fresh salad buffet so no one can say I was skimpy on the veggies.
Patrick will ask the four questions. If Cowboy isn't back in time, I will venture some creative answers... Patrick will also hide the "afekomen" and I will bribe him to give it to me so I can ask for a pony. One year, when he was much younger, he fell asleep during dinner and couldn't remember where he hid it. We turned the house upside down looking for it. Never found it but I still think BullyBoy ate it.
~Sar~
Abandoned.
Left at the altar.
Neglected.
Cowboy went out of town - out of the country, actually. He left me to eat all the ice cream by myself. It's a monumental task but I'll do my best. I made a fresh pan of tiramisu to eat in between quarts of Rocky Road and French Vanilla.
"I expect you to eat nutritious while I'm away," the big guy said before he left.
... Hmmm... Did he say nutritious or delicious? I vote for delicious. Nobody squeal.
I'm sleeping with Cowboy's clone. It had a disastrous accident when Cowboy came home from night duty once and found me asleep with the clone's anatomically correct body sleeping behind me, its arms around me. He tossed it across the room and let the pups have a go at it. They did a canine style autopsy on it and I had a devil of a time putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. It has a few scars but "everything" has been reattached. I hate sleeping alone.
"I bought you a body pillow," the same big guy reminded me before he left. "Sleep with that."
... Uh... sure.
"And make sure you get to bed at a decent hour. I don't want you up all night on the computer."
While the cat's away...
Moving right along...
Got a new foster this week, a handsome Husky pup with those beautiful neon-blue eyes. He has no manners, some undesirable habits and has been returned to the shelter twice. Very unruly behavior.
He's bright as a whip! I let him run around like a squirrel on uppers and when he finally plopped down in front of me - exhausted and tongue hanging out - I checked him out. He's in great physical shape plus clean ears, clean teeth, wicked naughty grin.
He's a jumper and a nipper. He nipped BullyBoy.
Big mistake. BullyBoy rolled over him and sat on his head.
Not sure but I think the Rotts laughed.
Jumping is easy to cure. There are several ways. One way is a knee in a dog's chest when it jumps, the command OFF! and quickly turn your back. I don't always raise my knee - if the dog is large and heavier than me, I can injure my knee. I usually say "UH-UH!" loudly and then turn my back. It takes a few repetitions but usually takes care of the problem in no time. Naturally, the command has to be reinforced regularly if the pup slips back into the bad habit. Lots of praise (and bits of dried liver or chicken) when the pup is behaving correctly.
So... the Husky jumped my Rott, Panda. She reared up and bit his nose. That's another way to cure jumping.
We had a super Easter dinner with good friends and Passover is around the corner. I hope the giant squid will be home in time to enjoy it. If he isn't, I'll have to sacrifice the main meal and concentrate on all the desserts. I've been cooking and baking like crazy to try new recipes.
Swooooon
Passover Brownies - Passover Honey cake - Passover Lemon Cheesecake - Citrus Sponge Cake and Caramel Matzoh Crunch.
Main meal has two entrees: Veal with wild mushrooms and red wine and Passover Pot roast - both moist and delicious.
Side dishes are Apple Matzoh Kugel, the traditional hard boiled eggs, carrot ring and charoset. I generally make an apple/walnut charoset but this year, I'm adding two others - apricot/pistachio charoset, which I think is Sephardic and another made with apples/walnuts/dates/bananas and raisins. Is that healthy or what?
Not sure I'm making soup this year but there will be a fresh salad buffet so no one can say I was skimpy on the veggies.
Patrick will ask the four questions. If Cowboy isn't back in time, I will venture some creative answers... Patrick will also hide the "afekomen" and I will bribe him to give it to me so I can ask for a pony. One year, when he was much younger, he fell asleep during dinner and couldn't remember where he hid it. We turned the house upside down looking for it. Never found it but I still think BullyBoy ate it.
~Sar~
Friday, April 04, 2008
Quick Note
Cowboy here. I see we haven't updated this page in a while. Sar is busy trying to meet deadlines so I thought I'd drop you a line or 2. The surgeries she had a few months ago kept her from doing too much in her studio. She's way behind in delivering contracted work so she's been back at it daily, working about 10-12 hour days, probably more if I'm not at home.
Then there was baking for David and Bull to take when they deployed, then Easter baking. Now Passover is around the corner. I brought takeout home regularly and I cook a few things so the imp doesn't have to fret about supper. The downside to all this is I'm missing her cooking and I have one worn out imp. The upside is that mia bambina is sleeping like a log, a plus for someone who suffers periodic insomnia.
There's a writing contest Sar enters every year. I think she puts a bit of time into that too. You won't see that story, whatever it is, until the contest is over but at least you know one is in the wings to be posted in a while. Sar says as soon as that story is finished - due any day now I think - she'll concentrate on finishing a couple that were in the works for her web site. A little more patience on your part and things will return to normal. Normal, when it comes to my wife, is a relative term.
Weather's been unusual. We had several inches of snow first of April - Mother Nature's joke on us. Lost a few seedlings that were recently planted and had a cherry blossom tree split in half. Sar was sick about that but I had an arborist out to check it out. Discovered the tree can be treated and saved. Neighborhood kids no doubt influenced by my wife, took advantage of the snow and made snow people. Their parents were embarrassed by the detail they put into it. Sar was so pleased she stopped work to make fried ice cream for them. Living with an imp is never boring.
Animal news - the padlock is back on the refrigerator. The mastiff has figured out how to open it and has been eating self-serve style. Other than beer, the dog is attracted to round objects. He ate an entire cantaloupe plus a honey dew melon as well. For once, I'm grateful there were no peaches in the bin. One of our cats is an avid hunter, bringing Sar a mouse every other day. Sar says the cat stays inside or she's taking it out to David's house to live. Mice, alive or dead, do not inspire my wife to cuddle the feline or offer praise. Fact is, the woman screams bloody murder which makes the rest of the menagerie come running. My sweet wife screaming - hard to believe, huh?
More good news - I have been informed that Cracker Jack (caramel coated popcorn + nuts) is being packaged back in their original blue and white boxes and have prizes. The woman in my life who is 5 parts sugar and 5 parts sexy spice is delirious. Sar bought as many boxes as she could find in 1 grocery store and then went shopping in several others. Cracker Jack boxes fill an entire shelving unit in the garage. My tools, which had been on those shelves, are now lined up against the wall. I had a few things to say about that. My wife had a few things to say too, the main theory being Cracker Jacks get eaten on a daily basis; tools are only used occasionally. Did she get swatted for that? What do you think?
Cowboy
Then there was baking for David and Bull to take when they deployed, then Easter baking. Now Passover is around the corner. I brought takeout home regularly and I cook a few things so the imp doesn't have to fret about supper. The downside to all this is I'm missing her cooking and I have one worn out imp. The upside is that mia bambina is sleeping like a log, a plus for someone who suffers periodic insomnia.
There's a writing contest Sar enters every year. I think she puts a bit of time into that too. You won't see that story, whatever it is, until the contest is over but at least you know one is in the wings to be posted in a while. Sar says as soon as that story is finished - due any day now I think - she'll concentrate on finishing a couple that were in the works for her web site. A little more patience on your part and things will return to normal. Normal, when it comes to my wife, is a relative term.
Weather's been unusual. We had several inches of snow first of April - Mother Nature's joke on us. Lost a few seedlings that were recently planted and had a cherry blossom tree split in half. Sar was sick about that but I had an arborist out to check it out. Discovered the tree can be treated and saved. Neighborhood kids no doubt influenced by my wife, took advantage of the snow and made snow people. Their parents were embarrassed by the detail they put into it. Sar was so pleased she stopped work to make fried ice cream for them. Living with an imp is never boring.
Animal news - the padlock is back on the refrigerator. The mastiff has figured out how to open it and has been eating self-serve style. Other than beer, the dog is attracted to round objects. He ate an entire cantaloupe plus a honey dew melon as well. For once, I'm grateful there were no peaches in the bin. One of our cats is an avid hunter, bringing Sar a mouse every other day. Sar says the cat stays inside or she's taking it out to David's house to live. Mice, alive or dead, do not inspire my wife to cuddle the feline or offer praise. Fact is, the woman screams bloody murder which makes the rest of the menagerie come running. My sweet wife screaming - hard to believe, huh?
More good news - I have been informed that Cracker Jack (caramel coated popcorn + nuts) is being packaged back in their original blue and white boxes and have prizes. The woman in my life who is 5 parts sugar and 5 parts sexy spice is delirious. Sar bought as many boxes as she could find in 1 grocery store and then went shopping in several others. Cracker Jack boxes fill an entire shelving unit in the garage. My tools, which had been on those shelves, are now lined up against the wall. I had a few things to say about that. My wife had a few things to say too, the main theory being Cracker Jacks get eaten on a daily basis; tools are only used occasionally. Did she get swatted for that? What do you think?
Cowboy
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