Life is busy, mostly chaotic and usually fun. Cowboy's been home for a little while and as usual, he makes demands... Some make me laugh; most I ignore and since he's so o-l-d, he's not able to catch me as quickly as he used to. Ooooo, cool breeze. I feel a swat coming...
I called the "Wild Animal Rental" place to see if that birthday party camel was available for 4th of July weekend but it was already booked. Tsk. We're expecting 40-50 dogs plus their owners. These are the dogs we've fostered over the years. Some no longer live in the area but most have RSVP'ed that they will be here. I'm excited about seeing them again. I hope they're still well behaved. I'll be putting whole groups of them through their paces. We'll have the cooking grills set up - hot dogs and burgers for pups and their people. Ice cream, too. Later, in the evening, a pyrotechnic outfit will be putting on a fireworks show at the neighborhood park. It should be great fun.
The Bulldog pups are absolutely adorable. They're all weaned now, mostly stand in their food dish while they eat. All have families waiting for them - about 2 more weeks and they'll go to their forever home - so I didn't want to name them. I put a different colored ribbon around their necks, refer to them as Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Mo and Monster. Monster has his nose in everything, most of which is not happy about it - BullyBoy's stomach, DomTom's ears, the Rott's dish, etc. Curious boy. The mastiff noses the little guy out of the way; the Rott shoves him and the cat smacks him upside the head. That one's going to be a handful. I hear muttering in the background... who could that be?
Some of Cowboy's old SEAL team members were here visiting. I mostly ignored them. They were drinking wine, swapping stories and doing a lot of that male bonding nonsense.
SWAT!
Tsk
Then, they started singing songs - raunchy ones. I immediately went downstairs and started throwing fish at them - SEALS... - frozen shrimp, scallops, halibut cheeks... My gesture was completely shunned and I got a certain look from the biggest (and oldest) SEAL in the crowd.
Laughing softly... I opened more wine for them and looked around for my miniature tape recorder. I love having ammunition for future situations. For our next family get-together, I might play the tape to show people what I have to endure when SEALs get tipsy.
SWAT!
Tsk
Brought the cat home from the shelter. This is the little darling that was set on fire and is slowly growing its fur back. About 10 months old the vet decided. Her name is Pipsqueak - that's the sound she makes when she has something to say and believe me, she has a LOT to say. Very cuddly and affectionate despite the trauma she suffered. She adores the mastiff and apparently, the feeling is mutual. He drools on her head regularly. Ewww.
My SweetPea doesn't care for cats but seems to understand that this one needs a lot of affection. The dog doesn't growl or shove her away, simply lets her crawl up next to him. When she squeaks at him, he tries to look nonchalant and ignores her. The other cats aren't sure what to make of her yet but they're tolerant for the most part.
The heat is killing us - we're not used to heat out here. I have fans running in all the rooms and naturally, the dogs are hogging them (along with a giant squid) and until it cools down, I'm not baking. No peach cobbler on the horizon.
"The peaches are ripe, bambina."
"Uh huh."
"Do something about that. Use them up so they don't go to waste."
Hauled a bushel of peaches to the upstairs bathroom. Stripped, got in the shower and squeezed peaches all over my naked self. Invited the giant squid upstairs. He took one look, clothes went flying and he "helped himself" to the peach crop.
He's o-l-d but he still has what it takes to consume peaches.
"Good?" I asked some time later.
"Delicious!" he said.
"Damn straight!"
SWAT!
Tsk
~Sar~
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
About those prayers--
Spanking Neanderthal checking in. I'm in the Carolinas looking around. I told Sar I'd be making this trip. If it looks promising, I'll bring her back another time. Wanted to do this before the summer tourists arrive and do it at my leisure. Will return home end of next week. Plan to stay put until late summer/early fall. At that time, the imp and I will head overseas together. More about that another time.
Made it home for birthday celebrations. As usual, mia bambina outdid herself. Didn't know who the male stripper was supposed to be - damn grateful he backed out. There was a camel which the imp insisted I ride. That's because the ponies she hired could hold the female guests but none of the male. On top of that, there was a damn elephant! Some kid in the neighborhood had a birthday party, had a camel, my wife was there, the rest was easy to figure out. So Sar gets on a pony. I'm on the camel. She challenges me to a race. While the imp passes the finish line, the camel I'm on is busy chewing grass. I give it a nudge to move. It spits. Everybody laughs. I give the imp a certain look. The imp laughs.
About those bulldog pups. Sar says I didn't get a look. I got a look. Ok, 5 of them but give me a break here. 5 puppies that aren't weaned, need feeding and all that involves, grooming, etc. The woman I married never met a dog she didn't love - will probably have them sit, down, come and watch her before they're another week old. There was no need for 5 more dogs. I told her they get adopted ASAP or I'll toast her tush every day we have them longer than necessary. Sar laughed. About those prayers?
Somebody drank my merlot! I don't care who or what but somebody should replace my merlot before I get home. Somebody should have known better. Somebody got more than a few swats. Same somebody laughed.
There's more. I was in Europe longer than expected. Apparently Sar thought that was license to clean out my closet - lost my favorite sweatshirt, some t-shirts, shoes, socks, God knows what else. She *straightened* the garage. More prayers please! Nails, drill bits, other small things reorganized, lined up by size. Ok, not too bad except for- "didn't see any use for some thingamajigs I couldn't identify so I threw them away." Just about bit my tongue off gritting my teeth! No laughter when I upended her. Got suggestions for a food taster, though.
All mischief aside, I'm still the luckiest guy on the planet. Living life to the fullest is just one of a lot of things that woman does that keeps me sane, keeps me young, often keeps her upended but you knew that.
During the few days I was home there was a military function we attended, dress whites for me, ball gown for mia amore. Sar wore a new gown, dark blue and long, the sapphire earrings I gave her for our first Christmas a lot of years ago. I was the proudest officer there, no one else comes close to the beautiful woman I married. Sar carried a small shoulder bag. I happened to bump it, it seemed a little heavy for lipstick and such. I asked what was in it. A chocolate bar in case she got hungry, a yo-yo in case she got bored. Said she was gonna get a swat for that. Yep. The imp laughed.
I read the last entry to the blog. My wife left a few things out. The list is lengthy even for the imp.
Adjusted the showerhead in exercise room to high, the temp to cold so when I stepped in the shower after my morning workout, I was blasted with ice water in the face.
Set the treadmill on high speed - just about fell on my face.
Put all the Cracker Jack prizes she saves for me in the safe "because it takes forever to collect them."
Added a bumper sticker to my SUV. "If you think I'm sexy, honk." I'm out running errands, wondering why a bunch of folks are honking - woman & MEN! What the hell? I load bags in the car, I see the bumper sticker. The imp has that innocent look on her face.
Emailed Santa not to believe false rumors.
I took care of all of this mischief while I was home. However, there's a strong possibility I will address it again next week. I told her there's been enough mischief at our house to last a lifetime. Sar said it was good fun. Probably but I think this is the "payback is a bitch" thing for staying in Europe too long. I know she missed me. God knows I go nuts when she isn't with me.
There's a possible third cat on the horizon. This would give us 4 dogs plus 3 cats. The bulldog pups are fosters, that's temporary. It seems Sar was at the shelter, saw a cat that was recovering from surgery. The critter had been set afire by some punks. In the process, the cat inhaled too much smoke, some of it damaged vocal cords so it makes little noise. Because the fur will look bad for a while, chances are slim the animal will be adopted. I told mia bambina it is impossible to save every needy animal out there. Sar's reply was she could save this one. We'll see.
Yeah, a little retribution is in order. Don't panic. Spanking Neanderthals and imps are a good match. Meanwhile, good thoughts are always welcome.
Cowboy
Made it home for birthday celebrations. As usual, mia bambina outdid herself. Didn't know who the male stripper was supposed to be - damn grateful he backed out. There was a camel which the imp insisted I ride. That's because the ponies she hired could hold the female guests but none of the male. On top of that, there was a damn elephant! Some kid in the neighborhood had a birthday party, had a camel, my wife was there, the rest was easy to figure out. So Sar gets on a pony. I'm on the camel. She challenges me to a race. While the imp passes the finish line, the camel I'm on is busy chewing grass. I give it a nudge to move. It spits. Everybody laughs. I give the imp a certain look. The imp laughs.
About those bulldog pups. Sar says I didn't get a look. I got a look. Ok, 5 of them but give me a break here. 5 puppies that aren't weaned, need feeding and all that involves, grooming, etc. The woman I married never met a dog she didn't love - will probably have them sit, down, come and watch her before they're another week old. There was no need for 5 more dogs. I told her they get adopted ASAP or I'll toast her tush every day we have them longer than necessary. Sar laughed. About those prayers?
Somebody drank my merlot! I don't care who or what but somebody should replace my merlot before I get home. Somebody should have known better. Somebody got more than a few swats. Same somebody laughed.
There's more. I was in Europe longer than expected. Apparently Sar thought that was license to clean out my closet - lost my favorite sweatshirt, some t-shirts, shoes, socks, God knows what else. She *straightened* the garage. More prayers please! Nails, drill bits, other small things reorganized, lined up by size. Ok, not too bad except for- "didn't see any use for some thingamajigs I couldn't identify so I threw them away." Just about bit my tongue off gritting my teeth! No laughter when I upended her. Got suggestions for a food taster, though.
All mischief aside, I'm still the luckiest guy on the planet. Living life to the fullest is just one of a lot of things that woman does that keeps me sane, keeps me young, often keeps her upended but you knew that.
During the few days I was home there was a military function we attended, dress whites for me, ball gown for mia amore. Sar wore a new gown, dark blue and long, the sapphire earrings I gave her for our first Christmas a lot of years ago. I was the proudest officer there, no one else comes close to the beautiful woman I married. Sar carried a small shoulder bag. I happened to bump it, it seemed a little heavy for lipstick and such. I asked what was in it. A chocolate bar in case she got hungry, a yo-yo in case she got bored. Said she was gonna get a swat for that. Yep. The imp laughed.
I read the last entry to the blog. My wife left a few things out. The list is lengthy even for the imp.
Adjusted the showerhead in exercise room to high, the temp to cold so when I stepped in the shower after my morning workout, I was blasted with ice water in the face.
Set the treadmill on high speed - just about fell on my face.
Put all the Cracker Jack prizes she saves for me in the safe "because it takes forever to collect them."
Added a bumper sticker to my SUV. "If you think I'm sexy, honk." I'm out running errands, wondering why a bunch of folks are honking - woman & MEN! What the hell? I load bags in the car, I see the bumper sticker. The imp has that innocent look on her face.
Emailed Santa not to believe false rumors.
I took care of all of this mischief while I was home. However, there's a strong possibility I will address it again next week. I told her there's been enough mischief at our house to last a lifetime. Sar said it was good fun. Probably but I think this is the "payback is a bitch" thing for staying in Europe too long. I know she missed me. God knows I go nuts when she isn't with me.
There's a possible third cat on the horizon. This would give us 4 dogs plus 3 cats. The bulldog pups are fosters, that's temporary. It seems Sar was at the shelter, saw a cat that was recovering from surgery. The critter had been set afire by some punks. In the process, the cat inhaled too much smoke, some of it damaged vocal cords so it makes little noise. Because the fur will look bad for a while, chances are slim the animal will be adopted. I told mia bambina it is impossible to save every needy animal out there. Sar's reply was she could save this one. We'll see.
Yeah, a little retribution is in order. Don't panic. Spanking Neanderthals and imps are a good match. Meanwhile, good thoughts are always welcome.
Cowboy
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Late to the Party Again!
I know! I know! It's been a long time since I posted. Mea culpa, life has grabbed ahold of me and is squeezing toooooo hard!
This is just a brief note 'cause I'm swamped but the giant squid said he'd update this blog today or tomorrow. He promised. He always keeps his promises, especially the ones I wish he'd forget... never mind.
I believe it is my patriotic duty to let you know - in advance - that you shouldn't believe everything he says... We did NOT have a male stripper at his birthday party. Truth is, the wuss backed out when he realized the party was for his commanding officer. But I did rent a camel.
A Naval officer of some rank gleefully said... "I hear the Admiral spanked you." It's not true that I said... "I hear the Admiral demoted you." Wellll I said something similar but those were NOT my exact words. Tsk.
It's not true that I brought a dozen dogs back from the shelter to take up temporary residence in our kennels. I was delivering a few bags of dry dog food and as always, I wander through the building to see if there are any pups that will be turned over to pure dog rescue and might come to my attention in the next few weeks. HONEST! I was just looking. You know how life sometimes just grabs you and no matter what you were doing or thinking... it takes you on a fork in the road that you hadn't explored before? Welllll I heard squealing and other puppy noises so I followed those sounds.
A couple of teeny tiny baby bulldogs - all by themselves - their mama died - had to be hand fed - were currently 4 - 5 weeks old. WRINKLES! I felt weak just looking at them. The shelter caretaker let me take them out so I could play with them in their puppy room. I sat on the floor and they crawled all over me. I couldn't stop hugging them. They had PUPPY BREATH and pink bellies! Ohhhhhhh I fell in love and took them home to foster.
I think it was meant to be. That's what I told Cowboy. It is against my religion - Sar-ism - to repeat the naughty things he said, especially because he muttered the words in Italian and it's so easy to exaggerate in that language. And when he tells you there were a DOZEN puppies, he is so o-l-d, he's forgotten how to count correctly. 12 does not follow 4. There were only uh... five of them. And they're so small! All together they probably are as big as one bulldog, maybe 1 1/2. They're in the house until they are big enough to stay in the kennels. The cats immediately took charge and are keeping them groomed.
And furthermore, I did not drink his merlot. SweetPea did.
And... no matter what David says, I did not send slinkies to the marines in Iraq. I sent yo-yo's (to the marines in Afghanistan.)
I'm sure he'll tell you other awful things. Please remember I'm a saint who lives with a Neanderthal, a spanking Neanderthal.
Tsk.
Final rant: Can you believe Mother Nature? Tomatoes are suspect! Why couldn't she have ruined the broccoli crops? I love tomatoes! I can barely tolerate looking at broccoli. DOUBLE tsk!
Cowboy was home for his birthday and now he's up and left AGAIN. But I saw his return flight voucher and I know he'll be home next week. I went out of my way to make a new peach cake that was SO delicious the pups and I ate the whole thing. I told him about it in an email. He said you're making that for me when I come home, right?
LOL! Doesn't he know peaches are way too expensive these days? (I wonder if the baby bullies like peaches?)
~Sar~
This is just a brief note 'cause I'm swamped but the giant squid said he'd update this blog today or tomorrow. He promised. He always keeps his promises, especially the ones I wish he'd forget... never mind.
I believe it is my patriotic duty to let you know - in advance - that you shouldn't believe everything he says... We did NOT have a male stripper at his birthday party. Truth is, the wuss backed out when he realized the party was for his commanding officer. But I did rent a camel.
A Naval officer of some rank gleefully said... "I hear the Admiral spanked you." It's not true that I said... "I hear the Admiral demoted you." Wellll I said something similar but those were NOT my exact words. Tsk.
It's not true that I brought a dozen dogs back from the shelter to take up temporary residence in our kennels. I was delivering a few bags of dry dog food and as always, I wander through the building to see if there are any pups that will be turned over to pure dog rescue and might come to my attention in the next few weeks. HONEST! I was just looking. You know how life sometimes just grabs you and no matter what you were doing or thinking... it takes you on a fork in the road that you hadn't explored before? Welllll I heard squealing and other puppy noises so I followed those sounds.
A couple of teeny tiny baby bulldogs - all by themselves - their mama died - had to be hand fed - were currently 4 - 5 weeks old. WRINKLES! I felt weak just looking at them. The shelter caretaker let me take them out so I could play with them in their puppy room. I sat on the floor and they crawled all over me. I couldn't stop hugging them. They had PUPPY BREATH and pink bellies! Ohhhhhhh I fell in love and took them home to foster.
I think it was meant to be. That's what I told Cowboy. It is against my religion - Sar-ism - to repeat the naughty things he said, especially because he muttered the words in Italian and it's so easy to exaggerate in that language. And when he tells you there were a DOZEN puppies, he is so o-l-d, he's forgotten how to count correctly. 12 does not follow 4. There were only uh... five of them. And they're so small! All together they probably are as big as one bulldog, maybe 1 1/2. They're in the house until they are big enough to stay in the kennels. The cats immediately took charge and are keeping them groomed.
And furthermore, I did not drink his merlot. SweetPea did.
And... no matter what David says, I did not send slinkies to the marines in Iraq. I sent yo-yo's (to the marines in Afghanistan.)
I'm sure he'll tell you other awful things. Please remember I'm a saint who lives with a Neanderthal, a spanking Neanderthal.
Tsk.
Final rant: Can you believe Mother Nature? Tomatoes are suspect! Why couldn't she have ruined the broccoli crops? I love tomatoes! I can barely tolerate looking at broccoli. DOUBLE tsk!
Cowboy was home for his birthday and now he's up and left AGAIN. But I saw his return flight voucher and I know he'll be home next week. I went out of my way to make a new peach cake that was SO delicious the pups and I ate the whole thing. I told him about it in an email. He said you're making that for me when I come home, right?
LOL! Doesn't he know peaches are way too expensive these days? (I wonder if the baby bullies like peaches?)
~Sar~
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