You know that needy feeling? A friend called the other night and told me she had a "needy" urge building.
"What kind of needy?" I asked. "Food? Chocolate? Sex? Shoe shopping? The need to shoot someone?"
"Comfort food."
"Ohhhhhh."
I eat a lot of comfort food all the time. I'm big on Twinkies... you knew that... and I'm a huge fan of Mac & Cheese in the blue Kraft box, Cracker Jacks, chocolate of course, and cheesecake. When I'm feeling all empty inside and the giant squid isn't available to cuddle with... I might make a big bowl of mashed potatoes swimming in butter and cream and eat that. If I'm upset about a particular thing, I generally make a Tunnel of Fudge cake and eat that. Food is big in my life - you knew that, too, and frankly, it's a good thing I don't eat a lot of veggies. I rarely gain weight; if I ate veggies, I'd blow over in a breeze.
When the giant squid is worn out from the job, I make linguini with butter and grated cheese, garlic bread and put a bottle of wine on the table. When he's feeling down - which doesn't happen too often - I make a dish his mom used to make for him when he was a little boy. I know it's hard to believe... but the giant squid was once a little boy. I have pictures to prove it but it's possible they're doctored photos and he was born whole - tall - and a Neanderthal.
The dish is a combination of sliced tomatoes, green peppers, and some Italian spices all sautéed in olive oil. When that's soft and smelling like heaven, I crack a few eggs over the whole thing and the eggs get poached over the tomatoes, etc and the combination is so good he feels better in no time. Once that needy appetite is taken care of, I help him take care of his other needy appetites. No need to discuss details; I'm sure you understand.
And... he could eat peach cobbler every night.
Back to my friend who was needy and wanted comfort food from her childhood:
"You want tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich? Chocolate cake? Peanut butter and jelly pancakes? What?"
"I want kugel. Noodle kugel with lots of cheese."
"Ohhhhh."
This gal is the only child of a Japanese mother and a Chinese father. She grew up in a multi-ethnic neighborhood and ate a lot of multi-ethnic delicacies. Of course, she also ate a lot of Asian food. Her mother despairs that her favorite dish is noodle kugel. Kugel is pudding. Noodle kugel is a combination of broad flat noodles, LOTS of butter and cream cheese and sugar and topped with berries - sort of a Jewish style cheesecake. It is scrumptious hot from the oven or cold from the fridge and is one of those dishes no one in their right mind would take all the time it takes to make one and share it. This is a dish best eaten when no one but me and the pups are home.
"You're making noodle kugel for Angie?" my husband, the caveman asked as I boiled water for the noodles and softened 24 ounces of cream cheese in the microwave.
"Uh huh."
"Are you making peach cobbler for me?"
"No."
SWAT!
Tsk
"Why not?"
"She's feeling needy and I think giving her noodle kugel is better than hearing about her on the 6 o'clock news. She just got her permit to carry license."
"I've got a permit to carry, bambina, and I've also getting a "needy" feeling."
"You are?"
"Yep, and your butt is gonna feel how needy I am if I don't see homemade peach cobbler on the table tonight."
"Piss-ant!"
SWAT!
Tsk
"What are you gonna do if I make peach cobbler for you? Other than not spanking me, of course."
"I'm probably gonna upend you anyway for being sassy," he grinned and hugged me way too tight. "And stuff will probably happen after I eat the cobbler." Grin became very wicked, kisses happened, hands got fresh - tsk - and I momentarily forgot what I was doing.
Double tsk.
"And...?"
"And I'm taking you to Japan with me. We leave in a few days."
"Ohhhhhhh, peach cobbler coming right up!"
We're off to Japan for a few days so the giant squid can do his giant squid thing and I'll get a chance to smoke his credit card again. And yes, I made noodle kugel for my friend - we shared it - and peach cobbler for the squid and I'm packed and ready to go. Will catch up with you in a few days.
"Just cause we'll be overseas doesn't mean you won't get your tush toasted if necessary, bambina. Japan is the land of the rising sun and your tush blazing would be appropriate."
Next time I make peach cobbler... I might add a new ingredient... ipecac or saltpeter.
~Sar~
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Peaches & Cavemen
I'm married to a Neanderthal. I don't know how that happened; I was never attracted to the caveman mentality. Oh sure, when I was a kid, I loved watching Tarzan marathons. I loved the Johnnie Weissmuller Tarzan. "Me Tarzan, you Jane." In truth, I was more impressed with Chita; the chimp made more sense than the grunting ape man. The new Tarzans are just a little too pretty to be manly and watching them swing...
On a site I visit regularly, someone described a lady's husband as an ALPHA male - capital A! That pretty much sums up the giant squid, too. He was alpha when we met:
I was dancing at a veteran's benefit at Smithsonian House in Washington, DC. He crashed the makeshift dressing rooms, informed me we were having dinner and before I knew it, we WERE having dinner. I thanked him for dinner and refused to let him kiss me. He took me home and camped out on my doorstep until I agreed to go out with him again.
A few weeks later, Alpha caveman proposed. I said no. I was too young to get married - 19 - and about to graduate from college. I wanted to live a little and see what there was to see before settling down. The Neanderthal threatened to spank me until I said yes. After one too many sore bottom sessions, I said yes.
I threatened to shoot him if he kept spanking me. He said he'd only spank me if I put my health/life or our life together in jeopardy.
Soooo...
When we got home from the dentist... I got more than a playful swat for intimidating the dentist/vampire trying to dig for blood-red gold in my mouth. You let a dentist/vampire see a little blood and they go crazy with bloodlust. I had to defend myself! And whatever the squid has to say about the rest of what happened is pure heresy and fantasy.
To avenge that completely undeserved spanking, I refused to make any more peach cobbler until he apologizes for acting like a Neanderthal.
Day 1: "How about peach cobbler, bambina? Peaches are in season."
"No, not baking today."
Day 2: "Cobbler tonight?"
"Nope."
Day 3: "There better be cobbler tonight!" the caveman growled.
"Okay."
Later, that night: "This is good, sweetheart but I was hoping for peach cobbler, not apple cobbler."
Methinks he's lucky he got *any* cobbler.
SWAT!
Tsk.
Day 4: "Peach cobbler tonight, no excuses," the Neanderthal announced as he came home mid-morning with a BUSHEL of fresh peaches.
I made peach pie.
"I could spank you for this," he informed me when I put the pie on the table after dinner.
"You could," I replied, "but I'd have to give the rest of the peaches to the crows."
"What am I going to do with you, bambina?" he asked after he ate a large portion of pie.
I made a few suggestions and while suggesting... I stripped, grabbed two peaches and squished them so their juices dribbled down my naked body. That got the caveman's immediate attention. Apparently, cavemen are fond of peaches regardless of how they are presented for consumption.
~Sar~
On a site I visit regularly, someone described a lady's husband as an ALPHA male - capital A! That pretty much sums up the giant squid, too. He was alpha when we met:
I was dancing at a veteran's benefit at Smithsonian House in Washington, DC. He crashed the makeshift dressing rooms, informed me we were having dinner and before I knew it, we WERE having dinner. I thanked him for dinner and refused to let him kiss me. He took me home and camped out on my doorstep until I agreed to go out with him again.
A few weeks later, Alpha caveman proposed. I said no. I was too young to get married - 19 - and about to graduate from college. I wanted to live a little and see what there was to see before settling down. The Neanderthal threatened to spank me until I said yes. After one too many sore bottom sessions, I said yes.
I threatened to shoot him if he kept spanking me. He said he'd only spank me if I put my health/life or our life together in jeopardy.
Soooo...
When we got home from the dentist... I got more than a playful swat for intimidating the dentist/vampire trying to dig for blood-red gold in my mouth. You let a dentist/vampire see a little blood and they go crazy with bloodlust. I had to defend myself! And whatever the squid has to say about the rest of what happened is pure heresy and fantasy.
To avenge that completely undeserved spanking, I refused to make any more peach cobbler until he apologizes for acting like a Neanderthal.
Day 1: "How about peach cobbler, bambina? Peaches are in season."
"No, not baking today."
Day 2: "Cobbler tonight?"
"Nope."
Day 3: "There better be cobbler tonight!" the caveman growled.
"Okay."
Later, that night: "This is good, sweetheart but I was hoping for peach cobbler, not apple cobbler."
Methinks he's lucky he got *any* cobbler.
SWAT!
Tsk.
Day 4: "Peach cobbler tonight, no excuses," the Neanderthal announced as he came home mid-morning with a BUSHEL of fresh peaches.
I made peach pie.
"I could spank you for this," he informed me when I put the pie on the table after dinner.
"You could," I replied, "but I'd have to give the rest of the peaches to the crows."
"What am I going to do with you, bambina?" he asked after he ate a large portion of pie.
I made a few suggestions and while suggesting... I stripped, grabbed two peaches and squished them so their juices dribbled down my naked body. That got the caveman's immediate attention. Apparently, cavemen are fond of peaches regardless of how they are presented for consumption.
~Sar~
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Sainthood!
It is a little known fact that dentists are descended from vampires. They hide their smiles behind the whitest and brightest set of teeth, so bright it blinds you to the fact that their canine teeth a.k.a. fangs, are actually longer than what one expects to see in a person who goes about during daylight hours.
"You're going in for a checkup whether you like it or not," the Neanderthal I live with announced as he took the tin of peanut brittle out of my hand. "And you're not going in with a mouthful of peanut brittle. Are we clear on this?"
"Yeah, yeah."
SWAT!
Tsk. I'm going in with a mouthful of saltwater taffy.
Ya ever notice how dentists like to use needles? Blood suckers are fond of needles. They shoot up your gums with what they call painkillers but what they're really doing is numbing you to the point that you have no clue as to what they're doing in your mouth. Vampires do this by nipping some vein or other in the side of your neck and when you're numb, they DRINK YOUR BLOOD!
"And don't call the dentist Dracula when you're in the dental chair. Last time you did that, the man requested transfer to a hospital ship in the middle of the Persian Gulf."
Tsk. There was an opening in Okinawa; he could have gone there and I won't call him Dracula. I'm thinking more along the lines of referring to him as the master of darkness.
SWAT!
Tsk.
So we get to the Navy base and the dental office and there is no one else in the waiting area except me and the giant squid. The dental assistant comes out to get me and I scan the area to see if there is more than one escape exit. Cowboy is standing in front of the door we came through. His arms are folded across his chest and he arches a brow at me and nods toward the dental assistant and the hall leading to the place of DOOM! I slip a couple pieces of taffy into my mouth and grudgingly follow the vampire drone.
"How are we today?" the dentist asks as I reluctantly sit in that stupid chair with the dohicky at the top to rest my head against.
Oh boy! This one's a citrus beverage.
"So you're the Admiral's wife," he says with a very white and bright toothy smile.
Gee! What was his clue? The fact that the giant squid is wearing summer whites and his admiral's stars are on his shoulders? The elaborate braid on his cover?
"I see you haven't had a checkup in a while. Glad you made the appointment."
I didn't make the appointment. Cowboy's yeoman made the appointment and I definitely misjudged the young man. His loyalty is supposed to be to ME and not to his commanding officer! I'll get my revenge at Christmas...
"Okay, open wide. Let's take a look," the dentist, still fearless and clueless, says with that toothy smile.
"I bite," I inform him.
"Ha ha," the man - still standing - replies. "Should I be afraid of you?" he asks.
"Very."
"You wouldn't hurt me, would you?" He's almost giddy. I think it's the smile thing. Those fangs must release laughing gas.
"Yes, I would."
"We can do this easy. Let me take a look and some x-rays and you'll be on your way. Small children aren't afraid of me," he assures me.
"Small children are more trusting than I am."
"I promise not to hurt you."
"Hurt me and I'll hurt you back."
"SAR!"
Jeez. The squid has Superman's hearing.
"You know," he pauses as he pokes around in my mouth with a mirror thing and a sterile version of an ice pick. "Ahh..." he sighs as he takes note of my taffy coated teeth. "I've heard stories about you."
"They're all true," I admit as I pull his hand out of my mouth.
"Now, now," he says. "You look too nice to act like that. I'm here to make sure you have healthy teeth and gums and nothing more. I bet you're really all bark and no bite."
This said with that white and bright toothy smile. From where I'm sitting, his canine teeth look extra large and long. He must be a mutant strain of vampire to be able to work in daylight. "Okay, that's enough," I announce and get out of that chair.
"Where are you going?" he asks, as perplexed as a cactus that lost its thorns.
"Home."
"Where are you going, imp?" my husband glares as he walks in the room.
We pause here to reminisce...
Once, when Cowboy was at sea, I woke up with a horrendous toothache. We were living in Virginia then and our friend David was on liberty and he had just bought a condo not too far from us. I called him and told him I needed to go to the dentist and could he take me? I was in too much pain to drive.
David, a senior ranked officer in the Marine Corps has sworn to protect the constitution of the United States and all that other stuff. While he drove me to the dentist, he warned me that he'd spank me if I didn't behave.
"Yeah, yeah, like that's gonna happen. Cowboy will dismember you if you do."
He rolled his eyes. What is it with that eye rolling bit? Am I supposed to be impressed? It's like convicted felons or protesters announcing they're going on a food strike if authorities don't do such and so. Am I supposed to care if they starve themselves on purpose? GO FOR IT!
Where was I? Oh... I had an abscessed tooth and needed a root canal. David came into the exam room with me and told the dentist to make sure I experienced zero pain or else. The dentist asked if he was in the room to protect me.
"Nope. I'm here to protect you."
Tsk.
So...
When Cowboy came into the room as I was attempting to leave, he wasted no time manhandling me back into the dental chair.
"Behave!"
I thought I *was* behaving. My behavior was typical me. If I had been misbehaving, I wouldn't have made a fuss. Tsk.
"Taffy?" he said when he peeked into my mouth over the dentist's shoulder.
I kept my eyes shut. I was afraid the glare from the squid's eyes combined with the dentist's white and bright toothy smile was gonna blind me for all time.
"I think we'll need to discuss this when we get home," the Neanderthal announced.
"Her teeth look good," the dentist said as my elbow was aimed toward his gut.
"Amazing," Cowboy shook his head. "The crap she eats should have rotted them all out by now."
I AM A SAINT! I didn't say a word.
But... I went back to the dentist's office at a later date and left several boxes of saltwater taffy in the waiting area and I'm not making peach cobbler for Cowboy till he apologizes for warming my butt.
~Sar~
"You're going in for a checkup whether you like it or not," the Neanderthal I live with announced as he took the tin of peanut brittle out of my hand. "And you're not going in with a mouthful of peanut brittle. Are we clear on this?"
"Yeah, yeah."
SWAT!
Tsk. I'm going in with a mouthful of saltwater taffy.
Ya ever notice how dentists like to use needles? Blood suckers are fond of needles. They shoot up your gums with what they call painkillers but what they're really doing is numbing you to the point that you have no clue as to what they're doing in your mouth. Vampires do this by nipping some vein or other in the side of your neck and when you're numb, they DRINK YOUR BLOOD!
"And don't call the dentist Dracula when you're in the dental chair. Last time you did that, the man requested transfer to a hospital ship in the middle of the Persian Gulf."
Tsk. There was an opening in Okinawa; he could have gone there and I won't call him Dracula. I'm thinking more along the lines of referring to him as the master of darkness.
SWAT!
Tsk.
So we get to the Navy base and the dental office and there is no one else in the waiting area except me and the giant squid. The dental assistant comes out to get me and I scan the area to see if there is more than one escape exit. Cowboy is standing in front of the door we came through. His arms are folded across his chest and he arches a brow at me and nods toward the dental assistant and the hall leading to the place of DOOM! I slip a couple pieces of taffy into my mouth and grudgingly follow the vampire drone.
"How are we today?" the dentist asks as I reluctantly sit in that stupid chair with the dohicky at the top to rest my head against.
Oh boy! This one's a citrus beverage.
"So you're the Admiral's wife," he says with a very white and bright toothy smile.
Gee! What was his clue? The fact that the giant squid is wearing summer whites and his admiral's stars are on his shoulders? The elaborate braid on his cover?
"I see you haven't had a checkup in a while. Glad you made the appointment."
I didn't make the appointment. Cowboy's yeoman made the appointment and I definitely misjudged the young man. His loyalty is supposed to be to ME and not to his commanding officer! I'll get my revenge at Christmas...
"Okay, open wide. Let's take a look," the dentist, still fearless and clueless, says with that toothy smile.
"I bite," I inform him.
"Ha ha," the man - still standing - replies. "Should I be afraid of you?" he asks.
"Very."
"You wouldn't hurt me, would you?" He's almost giddy. I think it's the smile thing. Those fangs must release laughing gas.
"Yes, I would."
"We can do this easy. Let me take a look and some x-rays and you'll be on your way. Small children aren't afraid of me," he assures me.
"Small children are more trusting than I am."
"I promise not to hurt you."
"Hurt me and I'll hurt you back."
"SAR!"
Jeez. The squid has Superman's hearing.
"You know," he pauses as he pokes around in my mouth with a mirror thing and a sterile version of an ice pick. "Ahh..." he sighs as he takes note of my taffy coated teeth. "I've heard stories about you."
"They're all true," I admit as I pull his hand out of my mouth.
"Now, now," he says. "You look too nice to act like that. I'm here to make sure you have healthy teeth and gums and nothing more. I bet you're really all bark and no bite."
This said with that white and bright toothy smile. From where I'm sitting, his canine teeth look extra large and long. He must be a mutant strain of vampire to be able to work in daylight. "Okay, that's enough," I announce and get out of that chair.
"Where are you going?" he asks, as perplexed as a cactus that lost its thorns.
"Home."
"Where are you going, imp?" my husband glares as he walks in the room.
We pause here to reminisce...
Once, when Cowboy was at sea, I woke up with a horrendous toothache. We were living in Virginia then and our friend David was on liberty and he had just bought a condo not too far from us. I called him and told him I needed to go to the dentist and could he take me? I was in too much pain to drive.
David, a senior ranked officer in the Marine Corps has sworn to protect the constitution of the United States and all that other stuff. While he drove me to the dentist, he warned me that he'd spank me if I didn't behave.
"Yeah, yeah, like that's gonna happen. Cowboy will dismember you if you do."
He rolled his eyes. What is it with that eye rolling bit? Am I supposed to be impressed? It's like convicted felons or protesters announcing they're going on a food strike if authorities don't do such and so. Am I supposed to care if they starve themselves on purpose? GO FOR IT!
Where was I? Oh... I had an abscessed tooth and needed a root canal. David came into the exam room with me and told the dentist to make sure I experienced zero pain or else. The dentist asked if he was in the room to protect me.
"Nope. I'm here to protect you."
Tsk.
So...
When Cowboy came into the room as I was attempting to leave, he wasted no time manhandling me back into the dental chair.
"Behave!"
I thought I *was* behaving. My behavior was typical me. If I had been misbehaving, I wouldn't have made a fuss. Tsk.
"Taffy?" he said when he peeked into my mouth over the dentist's shoulder.
I kept my eyes shut. I was afraid the glare from the squid's eyes combined with the dentist's white and bright toothy smile was gonna blind me for all time.
"I think we'll need to discuss this when we get home," the Neanderthal announced.
"Her teeth look good," the dentist said as my elbow was aimed toward his gut.
"Amazing," Cowboy shook his head. "The crap she eats should have rotted them all out by now."
I AM A SAINT! I didn't say a word.
But... I went back to the dentist's office at a later date and left several boxes of saltwater taffy in the waiting area and I'm not making peach cobbler for Cowboy till he apologizes for warming my butt.
~Sar~
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
My Turn!
The imp's version of what occurs often omits salient facts.
We left Iceland intact and the Keflavik Naval Air Station is only slightly worse for wear. Their security was beefed up after the imp demonstrated her innocent smile and her skill with lock picks. My reputation as a no nonsense officer was severely damaged. Her innocent smile wins me over every time. I owe her a swat for that one.
When we arrived on base I received the salutes and greetings from those subordinate in rank as is military protocol. The 2 officers equal to me ignored me until they had greeted Sar. I felt like JFK did when he went to Paris with his wife and announced he was the man who escorted Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy. I was also invisible when we ate at the Officers Club. The chef went out of his way to ask Sar what she wanted to eat that he would personally cook for her. He ignored me.
The credit card company was so impressed with Sar's spending, they raised my limit. I owe her a swat for that one too.
D.C.: A few of my old Seal Team buddies were in town for the 4th as were other Seals from the time of my active duty in the Teams. It was great to spend time with them and remember events and people. I didn't object when Sar left us to our conversation but I thought she was going out to shop. I didn't realize she was going to the zoo.
Sar loves zoos and they are dangerous places for her to be by herself. She wants to adopt all the babies. Next, she wants to eat everything there is to eat. I'm wrong. She wants to eat first, adopt the animals second. I am grateful the zoo does not have one of those "give this animal a good home" programs. Exotic animals belong in zoos, not in my backyard and no, she's not getting a giraffe or any other creature that belongs to the jungle or the savanna or elsewhere in the wild.
The minute she walked in the hotel room I knew she had been to the zoo. She had the "full" look which she gets when she's been eating junk all day and she was "high." The zoo always makes her high. Between all those snacks and chocolate and seeing all those animals, Sar doesn't understand why people do drugs. Neither do I. I owe her another swat for eating all that junk.
We were able to see an impressive fireworks display even with the rain. Friends arranged for us to have seats on the covered deck of a paddleboat. From the Potomac, the view was outstanding. Sar was ecstatic with the show and I admit, watching her was better than watching fireworks.
When we got home I was the invisible man again. The pups were all over her and pretty much ignored me. This is ok with me. I gave them some time to reconnect and after a while I went out to the back deck to see how the love fest was going on. Sar was asleep on a deck chair with 5 pups dangling off the side of the chair or at her feet. This is how it is when you live with a "dog whisperer." I carried her inside and got her ready for bed.
The next morning I told her I owed her a spanking. She yawned in my face but if the UPS guy has to make twice daily deliveries, she's definitely in for one of those hand-to-butt discussions. Yeah, I'm a Neanderthal and proud of it!
Cowboy
We left Iceland intact and the Keflavik Naval Air Station is only slightly worse for wear. Their security was beefed up after the imp demonstrated her innocent smile and her skill with lock picks. My reputation as a no nonsense officer was severely damaged. Her innocent smile wins me over every time. I owe her a swat for that one.
When we arrived on base I received the salutes and greetings from those subordinate in rank as is military protocol. The 2 officers equal to me ignored me until they had greeted Sar. I felt like JFK did when he went to Paris with his wife and announced he was the man who escorted Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy. I was also invisible when we ate at the Officers Club. The chef went out of his way to ask Sar what she wanted to eat that he would personally cook for her. He ignored me.
The credit card company was so impressed with Sar's spending, they raised my limit. I owe her a swat for that one too.
D.C.: A few of my old Seal Team buddies were in town for the 4th as were other Seals from the time of my active duty in the Teams. It was great to spend time with them and remember events and people. I didn't object when Sar left us to our conversation but I thought she was going out to shop. I didn't realize she was going to the zoo.
Sar loves zoos and they are dangerous places for her to be by herself. She wants to adopt all the babies. Next, she wants to eat everything there is to eat. I'm wrong. She wants to eat first, adopt the animals second. I am grateful the zoo does not have one of those "give this animal a good home" programs. Exotic animals belong in zoos, not in my backyard and no, she's not getting a giraffe or any other creature that belongs to the jungle or the savanna or elsewhere in the wild.
The minute she walked in the hotel room I knew she had been to the zoo. She had the "full" look which she gets when she's been eating junk all day and she was "high." The zoo always makes her high. Between all those snacks and chocolate and seeing all those animals, Sar doesn't understand why people do drugs. Neither do I. I owe her another swat for eating all that junk.
We were able to see an impressive fireworks display even with the rain. Friends arranged for us to have seats on the covered deck of a paddleboat. From the Potomac, the view was outstanding. Sar was ecstatic with the show and I admit, watching her was better than watching fireworks.
When we got home I was the invisible man again. The pups were all over her and pretty much ignored me. This is ok with me. I gave them some time to reconnect and after a while I went out to the back deck to see how the love fest was going on. Sar was asleep on a deck chair with 5 pups dangling off the side of the chair or at her feet. This is how it is when you live with a "dog whisperer." I carried her inside and got her ready for bed.
The next morning I told her I owed her a spanking. She yawned in my face but if the UPS guy has to make twice daily deliveries, she's definitely in for one of those hand-to-butt discussions. Yeah, I'm a Neanderthal and proud of it!
Cowboy
Sunday, July 09, 2006
My Version
Regardless of what the giant squid says, this is the way it happened.
We left Iceland intact. I didn't do any damage although I did make an idle comment that pickled herring might not be the best choice for a "national fish." And I might have mentioned that they need a larger inventory of better chocolates in their grocery stores and specialty shops. Then there was the TOTAL lack of root beer. There were no Kraft macaroni & cheese boxes anywhere AND they never heard of Twinkies.
Shocked!
This lack of Twinkies could easily qualify them as a third-world country. My apologies to the Ho-Ho fanatics. Good thing I brought my own supply and yes, I easily converted a few natives.
We flew from Iceland to Washington, D.C. where Cowboy communed with his old Seal buddies. Our hotel room reeked of testosterone so I left them to their male bonding and scooted off to the zoo.
~sigh~
I love zoos.
My favorite exhibits are the pandas and the eagles and the elephants and the tigers. The food concessions are wonderful! I ate a lot. The petting zoo was extra nice. I got to pet a baby elephant. In about a week, it will be too big so I petted like crazy. There was a curious giraffe that occasionally dipped its head down to be fed and it was love at first sight. I told the giant squid I'd have to check the homeowners association regs to see if we could have one.
He said no.
Tsk.
I may have to look into that myself. Giraffes have the most amazing eyes and eyelashes, really beautiful creatures. Surely, somewhere in the U.S., there's an "adopt-a-giraffe" program.
"I said no!"
Ya suppose he was talking to me? No, I don't think so, either.
SWAT!
Tsk.
Mr. Grumpy was not happy I went to the zoo by myself. Too bad. He was busy swapping Sealy stories with the guys. I couldn't just sit there and besides... I hadn't had a chance to commandeer his other credit cards. The one I used in Iceland was still smoking.
The weather was really damp on the 4th but we still enjoyed the fireworks display. By the time we left D.C., I was more than ready to sleep in my own bed.
The pups were delirious to see us. Well... they were happy to see me. They pretty much ignored the giant squid. He said now that we're home, things things?? will return to normal. I interpret this to mean that I need to do something heinous to his right arm in order to save my innocent butt.
I immediately left the room, walking backwards.
"What did you do, Sar?" the always suspicious Neanderthal asked.
"Me? I'm innocent, I tell you."
Truly, it's quite tacky to watch a grown man roll his eyes.
Sar
We left Iceland intact. I didn't do any damage although I did make an idle comment that pickled herring might not be the best choice for a "national fish." And I might have mentioned that they need a larger inventory of better chocolates in their grocery stores and specialty shops. Then there was the TOTAL lack of root beer. There were no Kraft macaroni & cheese boxes anywhere AND they never heard of Twinkies.
Shocked!
This lack of Twinkies could easily qualify them as a third-world country. My apologies to the Ho-Ho fanatics. Good thing I brought my own supply and yes, I easily converted a few natives.
We flew from Iceland to Washington, D.C. where Cowboy communed with his old Seal buddies. Our hotel room reeked of testosterone so I left them to their male bonding and scooted off to the zoo.
~sigh~
I love zoos.
My favorite exhibits are the pandas and the eagles and the elephants and the tigers. The food concessions are wonderful! I ate a lot. The petting zoo was extra nice. I got to pet a baby elephant. In about a week, it will be too big so I petted like crazy. There was a curious giraffe that occasionally dipped its head down to be fed and it was love at first sight. I told the giant squid I'd have to check the homeowners association regs to see if we could have one.
He said no.
Tsk.
I may have to look into that myself. Giraffes have the most amazing eyes and eyelashes, really beautiful creatures. Surely, somewhere in the U.S., there's an "adopt-a-giraffe" program.
"I said no!"
Ya suppose he was talking to me? No, I don't think so, either.
SWAT!
Tsk.
Mr. Grumpy was not happy I went to the zoo by myself. Too bad. He was busy swapping Sealy stories with the guys. I couldn't just sit there and besides... I hadn't had a chance to commandeer his other credit cards. The one I used in Iceland was still smoking.
The weather was really damp on the 4th but we still enjoyed the fireworks display. By the time we left D.C., I was more than ready to sleep in my own bed.
The pups were delirious to see us. Well... they were happy to see me. They pretty much ignored the giant squid. He said now that we're home, things things?? will return to normal. I interpret this to mean that I need to do something heinous to his right arm in order to save my innocent butt.
I immediately left the room, walking backwards.
"What did you do, Sar?" the always suspicious Neanderthal asked.
"Me? I'm innocent, I tell you."
Truly, it's quite tacky to watch a grown man roll his eyes.
Sar
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Trip: Phase 2
We leave Iceland on Sunday, heading toward D.C. to celebrate the 4th of July in our nation's capital. We love this holiday commemorating our independence as a free nation. We were in Boston one year - a lot of tea got wasted in the harbor - probably, Earl Grey... and we ate a lot of good seafood. Celebrating in Washington is a treat. There's a concert on the mall, fireworks galore and of course, we get to visit old haunts.
We're supposed to stay at a friend's condo in Virginia but I'm pushing to stay at the Woodland Park Sheraton which is one subway stop away from the National Zoo. I've been there before - they have Maryland crab cakes on the lunch buffet! The giant squid is thinking about it. He doesn't mind taking me to the zoo but he says he doesn't want me to eat my way across the whole place. Tsk. The zoo is so large I can barely eat my way across half of it.
SWAT
Tsk
We'll stop by Smithsonian House. That's where we met and that's where we were married a heck of a lot of spankings ago. And we'll go to Arlington because it's always good to visit old friends to let them know we continue to think of them. At the end of each visit we make a final stop at the Tomb of the Unknowns. Today's technology helps us identify most remains but Cowboy sees the Tomb as a memorial to all the valiant warriors that remain MIA or are buried in unknown places.
4th of July celebrations include parades and hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill and cherry cokes and root beer floats and lots of pie. Cherry pie is traditional and so are apple pie and blueberry pie. Mr. Grumpy isn't too happy about this. He looks forward to a thick slice of peach pie. I'll eat the blueberry and probably eat his share too. I like blueberry pie served hot with vanilla ice cream on top. It takes about a pint and a half of ice cream to cover a pie - perfect! I like to get a mouthful and smile... then I can gross out all the old ladies tsking away at how much I'm consuming.
Where does she put it?
In my mouth, you moron!
SWAT
Tsk
We get to eat all these treats at a tent reserved for military visitors during the celebrations. Cowboy says the ladies serving are members of the DAR - Daughters of the American Revolution. I've seen some of these ladies and some of them probably saw the revolution first hand... for sure some of them are also members of the temperance union. This might be the time for me to sing "God Save the Queen."
SWAT!
Tsk
Called home last night to check on my pups. BullyBoy complained about the lack of beer but our house sitter said he was getting beaten to death by Bully's happy end as he listened to me talk to him on the speakerphone. I promised him a six-pack as soon as I get home - BullyBoy, not the house sitter. The Rott whined and wanted to know when I'd be home. I don't know why folks think Rotts are so ferocious; mine is a mama's boy.
DomTom played the innocent card and purred into the phone. DomTom only purrs when he's been up to mischief. I wonder where he learned that. The house sitter said Miss Emmy lost one of her lives when she sneaked out onto the back deck. The outside Rott, Tank, caught her and slobbered over her and it scared her to death. She's been under the bed since Tuesday.
House sitter also said Tank and Panda made whoopee in the middle of the backyard. I don't have the heart to tell Tank that Panda was fixed a long time ago. Cowboy says as long as they're enjoying themselves and we won't get puppies, who cares? Well... I know for a fact that my almost-98-year-old neighbor, Peeper Patterson took pictures... and he's been showing them around the neighborhood. Our neighbor Ms.HairUpHerAss is easily grossed out. I wonder if I should let Tank and Panda into the front yard where all the neighbors can watch the show live...
SWAT
Tsk
We'll be home in a few days and the pups will go back to their normal diet of eating what I eat. I found a supply of the original Cracker Jack in a box with prizes in Reykjavik of all places. I bought the inventory and had it shipped home. I also emailed the grocer to ship a crate of Kraft Mac & Cheese to the house - one can never have enough of that on hand. Between that and my Twinkie stash, the pups and I can eat very well when Cowboy leaves the house.
Will try to send a note from D.C. but no promises. I know my way around that town and it's my responsibility to make sure Cowboy has his hands full chasing me hither, thither and yon. He doesn't seem to mind the hither and thither. It's the yon that usually gets me in trouble.
~Sar~
We're supposed to stay at a friend's condo in Virginia but I'm pushing to stay at the Woodland Park Sheraton which is one subway stop away from the National Zoo. I've been there before - they have Maryland crab cakes on the lunch buffet! The giant squid is thinking about it. He doesn't mind taking me to the zoo but he says he doesn't want me to eat my way across the whole place. Tsk. The zoo is so large I can barely eat my way across half of it.
SWAT
Tsk
We'll stop by Smithsonian House. That's where we met and that's where we were married a heck of a lot of spankings ago. And we'll go to Arlington because it's always good to visit old friends to let them know we continue to think of them. At the end of each visit we make a final stop at the Tomb of the Unknowns. Today's technology helps us identify most remains but Cowboy sees the Tomb as a memorial to all the valiant warriors that remain MIA or are buried in unknown places.
4th of July celebrations include parades and hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill and cherry cokes and root beer floats and lots of pie. Cherry pie is traditional and so are apple pie and blueberry pie. Mr. Grumpy isn't too happy about this. He looks forward to a thick slice of peach pie. I'll eat the blueberry and probably eat his share too. I like blueberry pie served hot with vanilla ice cream on top. It takes about a pint and a half of ice cream to cover a pie - perfect! I like to get a mouthful and smile... then I can gross out all the old ladies tsking away at how much I'm consuming.
Where does she put it?
In my mouth, you moron!
SWAT
Tsk
We get to eat all these treats at a tent reserved for military visitors during the celebrations. Cowboy says the ladies serving are members of the DAR - Daughters of the American Revolution. I've seen some of these ladies and some of them probably saw the revolution first hand... for sure some of them are also members of the temperance union. This might be the time for me to sing "God Save the Queen."
SWAT!
Tsk
Called home last night to check on my pups. BullyBoy complained about the lack of beer but our house sitter said he was getting beaten to death by Bully's happy end as he listened to me talk to him on the speakerphone. I promised him a six-pack as soon as I get home - BullyBoy, not the house sitter. The Rott whined and wanted to know when I'd be home. I don't know why folks think Rotts are so ferocious; mine is a mama's boy.
DomTom played the innocent card and purred into the phone. DomTom only purrs when he's been up to mischief. I wonder where he learned that. The house sitter said Miss Emmy lost one of her lives when she sneaked out onto the back deck. The outside Rott, Tank, caught her and slobbered over her and it scared her to death. She's been under the bed since Tuesday.
House sitter also said Tank and Panda made whoopee in the middle of the backyard. I don't have the heart to tell Tank that Panda was fixed a long time ago. Cowboy says as long as they're enjoying themselves and we won't get puppies, who cares? Well... I know for a fact that my almost-98-year-old neighbor, Peeper Patterson took pictures... and he's been showing them around the neighborhood. Our neighbor Ms.HairUpHerAss is easily grossed out. I wonder if I should let Tank and Panda into the front yard where all the neighbors can watch the show live...
SWAT
Tsk
We'll be home in a few days and the pups will go back to their normal diet of eating what I eat. I found a supply of the original Cracker Jack in a box with prizes in Reykjavik of all places. I bought the inventory and had it shipped home. I also emailed the grocer to ship a crate of Kraft Mac & Cheese to the house - one can never have enough of that on hand. Between that and my Twinkie stash, the pups and I can eat very well when Cowboy leaves the house.
Will try to send a note from D.C. but no promises. I know my way around that town and it's my responsibility to make sure Cowboy has his hands full chasing me hither, thither and yon. He doesn't seem to mind the hither and thither. It's the yon that usually gets me in trouble.
~Sar~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)