That's how someone I know referred to her husband recently. It was instant recognition. I live with a giant squid whose ego is bigger than Detroit so the moniker really fit. I've been calling him that now for a couple of weeks. Sometimes I say Mr. Superior Neanderthal or Admiral Superior. Makes him sound like he's as big as one of the five great lakes... Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior. If his ego gets any bigger, I may have to say it rivals the size of Minneapolis/St. Paul.
SWAT!
Laughing softly, but laughing.
We're almost in countdown mode for the giant squid's retirement. A temporary duty assignment has come up which will take us overseas for a couple of months. When we get back - around Thanksgiving - we'll think about staying where we are or moving back east. I vote for staying here but a lot depends on what Cowboy wants to do with all his spare time. There's been offers from here and there but for now, I'm hoping he'll take it easy, think it over and maybe, spend some much needed time with moi. I have promised lots of peachy things (along with my body) if he doesn't rush into a new venture.
"Your body is mine, regardless," Mr. Superior Mortal intoned.
Trying very hard not to roll my eyes but it's really killing me.
SWAT!
The man has radar.
My Rott, Panda is still coughing. She has good days and not-so-good days. The coughing is doing nothing for her lungs and every time she coughs, her mate, Tank gets distressed. Our big male cat has taken her under his wing so to speak. He washes her face, ears and stays close by. The newest feline, Pipsqueak, sleeps on her back. This seems to comfort her and biggest surprise is that Tank doesn't push them away. Tank is the Rott who never met a cat he liked if he couldn't eat it.
We went to Patrick's camp on visitor's day. He pitched a NO HIT inning. Just about bust my buttons, I was sooooooo proud! He stands on the pitcher's mound with his leg braces strapped to the sides of a walker. This allows his upper body to move without restraint and there's no chance he'll lose his balance and fall. The legs of the walker are buried deep in the ground - such a neat arrangement the camp made for him. We took pictures and video and emailed them to his mom. She's working a summer job and couldn't attend. Also sent them to David and Bull overseas and got instant replies of how proud they were, too. Patrick was pretty much floating all day and suggested ice cream was in order. Cowboy treated the whole team. I got some, too.
In the "Oh Boy!" department, the kid asked Cowboy if I've been behaving since he left for camp. Cowboy laughed. He laughed! Patrick took that to mean I was naughty and asked if I had done anything he could share with the other campers. I immediately stole the giant squid's ice cream and stuffed my mouth - got brain freeze 'cause I ate it so fast.
Cowboy was still laughing so I pinched his butt.
He retaliated with a swat.
Patrick laughed.
So glad I'm the boy's entertainment. Tsk.
Got dragged to the base to see the doc. Was going to have an echo cardiogram and some other test I can't remember. But LO and BEHOLD! Doc had an emergency and we had to reschedule. Oh Joy! Some other medical type person said he could administer the tests. I told him - touch my body and die. I see the regular cardiologist next week.
On the recipe front, I have a whole bunch of new ones to post. I tried a bunch of new peachy things that Mr. Superior Mortal salivated over so he's feeling generous. I'm making a list. Christmas is just 18 weeks away and Santa might need a little help. It's a long list.
~Sar~
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, August 04, 2008
Happiness
Cowboy here. My wife is having an extra sweet day - it's been a while since the last post so I'm posting a bit of an update. One of our Internet friends asked folks to describe the joy they're having today. That seemed like a good topic for discussion.
Joy started early at our house. Woke up to find a beautiful woman asleep next to me. Woke that beautiful woman with serious hugs and kisses. Sar's smiles make my day. Those hugs and kisses are like manna to a starving man. There were pancakes for breakfast, smothered in Sar's special peach brandy syrup. Wasn't expecting that but enjoyed it. (The imp tied a bib around my collar so I didn't get any on my uniform.) Gave her a swat for that.
Was away all morning but home for lunch. The house smelled like fresh baked bread. A favorite soup of mine was on the stove - Rhode Island clam chowder. The oven was on - peach upside down cake. Dropped my briefcase, went into the yard to cut some flowers, spotted Sar up a tree. She was taking aerial photos of the garden, very colorful this time of year.
I caught her around the waist as she climbed down. A hug and a swat followed. With her hip/leg pain she doesn't need to be climbing trees. I was labeled a dominant bully. I agreed.
Our Rott Panda is coughing again. Hard on the animal, hard on Sar. It hurts like hell to see the dog have any discomfort. Sar gives meds, hugs, a lot of comforting whispers, makes the dog's favorite foods. It's taking a toll. I told mia bambina we may have to consider letting the dog go peacefully. The vet says as long as the animal has a decent quality of life, is interested in eating, playing, etc., we should leave well enough alone. Tank has been her mate since they were adopted. He hasn't left her side. This coughing is hard on him as well.
Our God son, Patrick, is at camp. It's a mainstream camp - able bodied youngsters plus youngsters with special needs. Patrick attended last year, enjoyed it to the point that we sent him again. He called yesterday to tell us he's practicing to pitch in a baseball game. This is the young man - 11 this summer - that bats fairly well while someone else runs the bases for him. Don't know how he's going to pitch in leg braces, how he's going to keep his balance but I told him we're rooting for him. They're having visitor's day this weekend. We'll try to get there in time to watch him pitch.
Sar has another checkup. Cardiologist wants to verify that all is working right. The imp isn't any more enthusiastic about the medical appointment than she is about eating vegetables. According to my sources, the doc isn't enthusiastic either. I promised dire retribution if she's uncooperative. I won't repeat what she said but my arm gave an immediate response. I was labeled a Neanderthal. Reminded her that was old news. Now I'm waiting for a new title - Sar said she'd ask you for suggestions.
Cowboy
Joy started early at our house. Woke up to find a beautiful woman asleep next to me. Woke that beautiful woman with serious hugs and kisses. Sar's smiles make my day. Those hugs and kisses are like manna to a starving man. There were pancakes for breakfast, smothered in Sar's special peach brandy syrup. Wasn't expecting that but enjoyed it. (The imp tied a bib around my collar so I didn't get any on my uniform.) Gave her a swat for that.
Was away all morning but home for lunch. The house smelled like fresh baked bread. A favorite soup of mine was on the stove - Rhode Island clam chowder. The oven was on - peach upside down cake. Dropped my briefcase, went into the yard to cut some flowers, spotted Sar up a tree. She was taking aerial photos of the garden, very colorful this time of year.
I caught her around the waist as she climbed down. A hug and a swat followed. With her hip/leg pain she doesn't need to be climbing trees. I was labeled a dominant bully. I agreed.
Our Rott Panda is coughing again. Hard on the animal, hard on Sar. It hurts like hell to see the dog have any discomfort. Sar gives meds, hugs, a lot of comforting whispers, makes the dog's favorite foods. It's taking a toll. I told mia bambina we may have to consider letting the dog go peacefully. The vet says as long as the animal has a decent quality of life, is interested in eating, playing, etc., we should leave well enough alone. Tank has been her mate since they were adopted. He hasn't left her side. This coughing is hard on him as well.
Our God son, Patrick, is at camp. It's a mainstream camp - able bodied youngsters plus youngsters with special needs. Patrick attended last year, enjoyed it to the point that we sent him again. He called yesterday to tell us he's practicing to pitch in a baseball game. This is the young man - 11 this summer - that bats fairly well while someone else runs the bases for him. Don't know how he's going to pitch in leg braces, how he's going to keep his balance but I told him we're rooting for him. They're having visitor's day this weekend. We'll try to get there in time to watch him pitch.
Sar has another checkup. Cardiologist wants to verify that all is working right. The imp isn't any more enthusiastic about the medical appointment than she is about eating vegetables. According to my sources, the doc isn't enthusiastic either. I promised dire retribution if she's uncooperative. I won't repeat what she said but my arm gave an immediate response. I was labeled a Neanderthal. Reminded her that was old news. Now I'm waiting for a new title - Sar said she'd ask you for suggestions.
Cowboy
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Miss Me?
Oh Lord! I must be getting old. Time is flying faster than it used to. Could have sworn I updated the blog just a few days ago but apparently, it's been a little longer than that.
We had our annual 4th of July "doggie reunion" party. Over 50 dogs and their owners showed up. Consumed mountains of hot dogs and burgers and many many gallons of ice cream. I was "high" all day hugging all those pooches. They wiggled and wagged and were very generous with their kisses. Even the bi-polar German Shepherd dropped by with his Navy K-9 handler. The dog is still on Prozac.
Daisy, an English Mastiff waddled over to say hello. She was about 60 pounds underweight when I got her; she's topping the upper weight range for her breed now. Such a sweetie. Unfortunately, she still thinks she's a lapdog so I sat as soon as I saw her - 220 pounds is twice my weight. Most of the larger breeds I've fostered - Saint Bernards, Newfoundlands, Russian and Irish Wolfhounds, etc - have all been lapdogs. Mostly, just their heads fit on my lap but that didn't stop any of them from trying to get as close as they could. The best I could do was lie on the grass next to them. Caveat: If they rolled over on top of me, I was squashed to smithereens.
A few Rotts showed up and it was "hail fellow, well met" when my Rotts spotted them. Rotts are very picky about their canine friends, snobs actually. They tolerate other dogs but they really get sappy around their own breed. BullyBoy played with all the dogs; he doesn't have an intolerant bone in his body. The two Dobermans I retrained for a visually impaired/physically challenged lady were there, too. These two are getting on in age but still doing their job leading their person around, taking turns with her every day. So many others - it was really my kind of day.
Other stuff: Time for my semi annual medical checkups. I have an inflamed sciatic nerve. Doc recommended mild painkillers and wanted me to see a physical therapist. People... been there, done that. Not doing it again. Physical therapists are sadistic terrorists. And they have no sense of humor and get bent out of shape when one tries to eat a Twinkie during the torture session. I'm not sure but it's possible they're related to phlebotomists a.k.a. blood suckers a.k.a. vampires. Just my opinion of course.
"These are dedicated medical personnel," Cowboy said. "They're trying to make you feel better."
"By torturing me? No thanks. I'd rather eat a piece of broccoli."
SWAT!
"You're going if I have to drag you there!"
SWAT!
"No more peaches until 2010."
Long pause...
(The physical therapist is currently on hold.)
The doc was new - actually very nice - surprised me. He talked to ME instead of to the giant squid, was gentle, and told me everything he was going to do before he did it. I was really amazed. Cowboy was amazed I didn't hurt him. He felt my forehead to see if I had a fever. Tsk.
Nurses didn't hear the usual commotion that happens when I have an appointment so they came in to see if I was okay. Then one of them YELLED at my husband, demanding to know if he had threatened me in any way so I'd behave. Cowboy, who outranks them (and the doc) was backed up against a wall with his hands up in a defensive move swearing he didn't hurt me. Couldn't help myself; I laughed.
I was sooooo good I demanded a banana split. We went to a café near the base and splurged. After I ate mine, I ate most of Cowboy's portion. It was the least I could do.
Meanwhile, I'm not jogging, running or dancing and this is making me crankier than usual. To get some of that physical energy out, I'm gardening, walking briskly until the leg/thigh pain gets too much and then mumbling a lot. I'm trying calisthenics, stationery bike, upper body stuff and a lot of stretching. I say FUN GOOCH a lot.
Cowboy seems to think this deserves more than the occasional swat. He laughs that I can't run from him without hurting myself. Truly, the man has forgotten how devious I can be. I waxed the banister so I can slide down it faster, parked my car in the garage so I don't have to back out, and keep both dogs close to me whenever he's in a spanking mood. I also keep several peaches in my pocket to throw at him if I'm cornered. (My water gun is also fully loaded.) So far, so good. He says wait till bedtime. However... at bedtime I'm full of ideas on how to keep him occupied with more pleasant activities. I'm also open for suggestions. Feel free to send advice.
Pipsqueak, our newest member of the family is growing back some fur. She looks like she's more calico than anything else but until all her fur is back we won't know. The vet said some of the fur would come in, then fall out and then grow back in stronger. She still talks all day and continues to fascinate the dogs with her fearless attitude toward them. She recently discovered the wonderful taste of Cracker Jack and generously leaves a few for the giant squid... on his desk.
"Did you teach the cat to do that?" Cowboy demands to know as he wipes saliva ridden sticky caramel corn off his squeaky-clean desk.
"Me?"
"No! Santa Claus! Of course, YOU!"
"Santa was here? Ohhhhhhh when? Did you tell him how good I've been?"
"Sar!"
SWAT!
Tsk. Could have been worse. Pipsqueak could have left a caramel corn hairball in his shoes.
~Sar~
We had our annual 4th of July "doggie reunion" party. Over 50 dogs and their owners showed up. Consumed mountains of hot dogs and burgers and many many gallons of ice cream. I was "high" all day hugging all those pooches. They wiggled and wagged and were very generous with their kisses. Even the bi-polar German Shepherd dropped by with his Navy K-9 handler. The dog is still on Prozac.
Daisy, an English Mastiff waddled over to say hello. She was about 60 pounds underweight when I got her; she's topping the upper weight range for her breed now. Such a sweetie. Unfortunately, she still thinks she's a lapdog so I sat as soon as I saw her - 220 pounds is twice my weight. Most of the larger breeds I've fostered - Saint Bernards, Newfoundlands, Russian and Irish Wolfhounds, etc - have all been lapdogs. Mostly, just their heads fit on my lap but that didn't stop any of them from trying to get as close as they could. The best I could do was lie on the grass next to them. Caveat: If they rolled over on top of me, I was squashed to smithereens.
A few Rotts showed up and it was "hail fellow, well met" when my Rotts spotted them. Rotts are very picky about their canine friends, snobs actually. They tolerate other dogs but they really get sappy around their own breed. BullyBoy played with all the dogs; he doesn't have an intolerant bone in his body. The two Dobermans I retrained for a visually impaired/physically challenged lady were there, too. These two are getting on in age but still doing their job leading their person around, taking turns with her every day. So many others - it was really my kind of day.
Other stuff: Time for my semi annual medical checkups. I have an inflamed sciatic nerve. Doc recommended mild painkillers and wanted me to see a physical therapist. People... been there, done that. Not doing it again. Physical therapists are sadistic terrorists. And they have no sense of humor and get bent out of shape when one tries to eat a Twinkie during the torture session. I'm not sure but it's possible they're related to phlebotomists a.k.a. blood suckers a.k.a. vampires. Just my opinion of course.
"These are dedicated medical personnel," Cowboy said. "They're trying to make you feel better."
"By torturing me? No thanks. I'd rather eat a piece of broccoli."
SWAT!
"You're going if I have to drag you there!"
SWAT!
"No more peaches until 2010."
Long pause...
(The physical therapist is currently on hold.)
The doc was new - actually very nice - surprised me. He talked to ME instead of to the giant squid, was gentle, and told me everything he was going to do before he did it. I was really amazed. Cowboy was amazed I didn't hurt him. He felt my forehead to see if I had a fever. Tsk.
Nurses didn't hear the usual commotion that happens when I have an appointment so they came in to see if I was okay. Then one of them YELLED at my husband, demanding to know if he had threatened me in any way so I'd behave. Cowboy, who outranks them (and the doc) was backed up against a wall with his hands up in a defensive move swearing he didn't hurt me. Couldn't help myself; I laughed.
I was sooooo good I demanded a banana split. We went to a café near the base and splurged. After I ate mine, I ate most of Cowboy's portion. It was the least I could do.
Meanwhile, I'm not jogging, running or dancing and this is making me crankier than usual. To get some of that physical energy out, I'm gardening, walking briskly until the leg/thigh pain gets too much and then mumbling a lot. I'm trying calisthenics, stationery bike, upper body stuff and a lot of stretching. I say FUN GOOCH a lot.
Cowboy seems to think this deserves more than the occasional swat. He laughs that I can't run from him without hurting myself. Truly, the man has forgotten how devious I can be. I waxed the banister so I can slide down it faster, parked my car in the garage so I don't have to back out, and keep both dogs close to me whenever he's in a spanking mood. I also keep several peaches in my pocket to throw at him if I'm cornered. (My water gun is also fully loaded.) So far, so good. He says wait till bedtime. However... at bedtime I'm full of ideas on how to keep him occupied with more pleasant activities. I'm also open for suggestions. Feel free to send advice.
Pipsqueak, our newest member of the family is growing back some fur. She looks like she's more calico than anything else but until all her fur is back we won't know. The vet said some of the fur would come in, then fall out and then grow back in stronger. She still talks all day and continues to fascinate the dogs with her fearless attitude toward them. She recently discovered the wonderful taste of Cracker Jack and generously leaves a few for the giant squid... on his desk.
"Did you teach the cat to do that?" Cowboy demands to know as he wipes saliva ridden sticky caramel corn off his squeaky-clean desk.
"Me?"
"No! Santa Claus! Of course, YOU!"
"Santa was here? Ohhhhhhh when? Did you tell him how good I've been?"
"Sar!"
SWAT!
Tsk. Could have been worse. Pipsqueak could have left a caramel corn hairball in his shoes.
~Sar~
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Mea Culpa
Life is busy, mostly chaotic and usually fun. Cowboy's been home for a little while and as usual, he makes demands... Some make me laugh; most I ignore and since he's so o-l-d, he's not able to catch me as quickly as he used to. Ooooo, cool breeze. I feel a swat coming...
I called the "Wild Animal Rental" place to see if that birthday party camel was available for 4th of July weekend but it was already booked. Tsk. We're expecting 40-50 dogs plus their owners. These are the dogs we've fostered over the years. Some no longer live in the area but most have RSVP'ed that they will be here. I'm excited about seeing them again. I hope they're still well behaved. I'll be putting whole groups of them through their paces. We'll have the cooking grills set up - hot dogs and burgers for pups and their people. Ice cream, too. Later, in the evening, a pyrotechnic outfit will be putting on a fireworks show at the neighborhood park. It should be great fun.
The Bulldog pups are absolutely adorable. They're all weaned now, mostly stand in their food dish while they eat. All have families waiting for them - about 2 more weeks and they'll go to their forever home - so I didn't want to name them. I put a different colored ribbon around their necks, refer to them as Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Mo and Monster. Monster has his nose in everything, most of which is not happy about it - BullyBoy's stomach, DomTom's ears, the Rott's dish, etc. Curious boy. The mastiff noses the little guy out of the way; the Rott shoves him and the cat smacks him upside the head. That one's going to be a handful. I hear muttering in the background... who could that be?
Some of Cowboy's old SEAL team members were here visiting. I mostly ignored them. They were drinking wine, swapping stories and doing a lot of that male bonding nonsense.
SWAT!
Tsk
Then, they started singing songs - raunchy ones. I immediately went downstairs and started throwing fish at them - SEALS... - frozen shrimp, scallops, halibut cheeks... My gesture was completely shunned and I got a certain look from the biggest (and oldest) SEAL in the crowd.
Laughing softly... I opened more wine for them and looked around for my miniature tape recorder. I love having ammunition for future situations. For our next family get-together, I might play the tape to show people what I have to endure when SEALs get tipsy.
SWAT!
Tsk
Brought the cat home from the shelter. This is the little darling that was set on fire and is slowly growing its fur back. About 10 months old the vet decided. Her name is Pipsqueak - that's the sound she makes when she has something to say and believe me, she has a LOT to say. Very cuddly and affectionate despite the trauma she suffered. She adores the mastiff and apparently, the feeling is mutual. He drools on her head regularly. Ewww.
My SweetPea doesn't care for cats but seems to understand that this one needs a lot of affection. The dog doesn't growl or shove her away, simply lets her crawl up next to him. When she squeaks at him, he tries to look nonchalant and ignores her. The other cats aren't sure what to make of her yet but they're tolerant for the most part.
The heat is killing us - we're not used to heat out here. I have fans running in all the rooms and naturally, the dogs are hogging them (along with a giant squid) and until it cools down, I'm not baking. No peach cobbler on the horizon.
"The peaches are ripe, bambina."
"Uh huh."
"Do something about that. Use them up so they don't go to waste."
Hauled a bushel of peaches to the upstairs bathroom. Stripped, got in the shower and squeezed peaches all over my naked self. Invited the giant squid upstairs. He took one look, clothes went flying and he "helped himself" to the peach crop.
He's o-l-d but he still has what it takes to consume peaches.
"Good?" I asked some time later.
"Delicious!" he said.
"Damn straight!"
SWAT!
Tsk
~Sar~
I called the "Wild Animal Rental" place to see if that birthday party camel was available for 4th of July weekend but it was already booked. Tsk. We're expecting 40-50 dogs plus their owners. These are the dogs we've fostered over the years. Some no longer live in the area but most have RSVP'ed that they will be here. I'm excited about seeing them again. I hope they're still well behaved. I'll be putting whole groups of them through their paces. We'll have the cooking grills set up - hot dogs and burgers for pups and their people. Ice cream, too. Later, in the evening, a pyrotechnic outfit will be putting on a fireworks show at the neighborhood park. It should be great fun.
The Bulldog pups are absolutely adorable. They're all weaned now, mostly stand in their food dish while they eat. All have families waiting for them - about 2 more weeks and they'll go to their forever home - so I didn't want to name them. I put a different colored ribbon around their necks, refer to them as Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Mo and Monster. Monster has his nose in everything, most of which is not happy about it - BullyBoy's stomach, DomTom's ears, the Rott's dish, etc. Curious boy. The mastiff noses the little guy out of the way; the Rott shoves him and the cat smacks him upside the head. That one's going to be a handful. I hear muttering in the background... who could that be?
Some of Cowboy's old SEAL team members were here visiting. I mostly ignored them. They were drinking wine, swapping stories and doing a lot of that male bonding nonsense.
SWAT!
Tsk
Then, they started singing songs - raunchy ones. I immediately went downstairs and started throwing fish at them - SEALS... - frozen shrimp, scallops, halibut cheeks... My gesture was completely shunned and I got a certain look from the biggest (and oldest) SEAL in the crowd.
Laughing softly... I opened more wine for them and looked around for my miniature tape recorder. I love having ammunition for future situations. For our next family get-together, I might play the tape to show people what I have to endure when SEALs get tipsy.
SWAT!
Tsk
Brought the cat home from the shelter. This is the little darling that was set on fire and is slowly growing its fur back. About 10 months old the vet decided. Her name is Pipsqueak - that's the sound she makes when she has something to say and believe me, she has a LOT to say. Very cuddly and affectionate despite the trauma she suffered. She adores the mastiff and apparently, the feeling is mutual. He drools on her head regularly. Ewww.
My SweetPea doesn't care for cats but seems to understand that this one needs a lot of affection. The dog doesn't growl or shove her away, simply lets her crawl up next to him. When she squeaks at him, he tries to look nonchalant and ignores her. The other cats aren't sure what to make of her yet but they're tolerant for the most part.
The heat is killing us - we're not used to heat out here. I have fans running in all the rooms and naturally, the dogs are hogging them (along with a giant squid) and until it cools down, I'm not baking. No peach cobbler on the horizon.
"The peaches are ripe, bambina."
"Uh huh."
"Do something about that. Use them up so they don't go to waste."
Hauled a bushel of peaches to the upstairs bathroom. Stripped, got in the shower and squeezed peaches all over my naked self. Invited the giant squid upstairs. He took one look, clothes went flying and he "helped himself" to the peach crop.
He's o-l-d but he still has what it takes to consume peaches.
"Good?" I asked some time later.
"Delicious!" he said.
"Damn straight!"
SWAT!
Tsk
~Sar~
Sunday, June 15, 2008
About those prayers--
Spanking Neanderthal checking in. I'm in the Carolinas looking around. I told Sar I'd be making this trip. If it looks promising, I'll bring her back another time. Wanted to do this before the summer tourists arrive and do it at my leisure. Will return home end of next week. Plan to stay put until late summer/early fall. At that time, the imp and I will head overseas together. More about that another time.
Made it home for birthday celebrations. As usual, mia bambina outdid herself. Didn't know who the male stripper was supposed to be - damn grateful he backed out. There was a camel which the imp insisted I ride. That's because the ponies she hired could hold the female guests but none of the male. On top of that, there was a damn elephant! Some kid in the neighborhood had a birthday party, had a camel, my wife was there, the rest was easy to figure out. So Sar gets on a pony. I'm on the camel. She challenges me to a race. While the imp passes the finish line, the camel I'm on is busy chewing grass. I give it a nudge to move. It spits. Everybody laughs. I give the imp a certain look. The imp laughs.
About those bulldog pups. Sar says I didn't get a look. I got a look. Ok, 5 of them but give me a break here. 5 puppies that aren't weaned, need feeding and all that involves, grooming, etc. The woman I married never met a dog she didn't love - will probably have them sit, down, come and watch her before they're another week old. There was no need for 5 more dogs. I told her they get adopted ASAP or I'll toast her tush every day we have them longer than necessary. Sar laughed. About those prayers?
Somebody drank my merlot! I don't care who or what but somebody should replace my merlot before I get home. Somebody should have known better. Somebody got more than a few swats. Same somebody laughed.
There's more. I was in Europe longer than expected. Apparently Sar thought that was license to clean out my closet - lost my favorite sweatshirt, some t-shirts, shoes, socks, God knows what else. She *straightened* the garage. More prayers please! Nails, drill bits, other small things reorganized, lined up by size. Ok, not too bad except for- "didn't see any use for some thingamajigs I couldn't identify so I threw them away." Just about bit my tongue off gritting my teeth! No laughter when I upended her. Got suggestions for a food taster, though.
All mischief aside, I'm still the luckiest guy on the planet. Living life to the fullest is just one of a lot of things that woman does that keeps me sane, keeps me young, often keeps her upended but you knew that.
During the few days I was home there was a military function we attended, dress whites for me, ball gown for mia amore. Sar wore a new gown, dark blue and long, the sapphire earrings I gave her for our first Christmas a lot of years ago. I was the proudest officer there, no one else comes close to the beautiful woman I married. Sar carried a small shoulder bag. I happened to bump it, it seemed a little heavy for lipstick and such. I asked what was in it. A chocolate bar in case she got hungry, a yo-yo in case she got bored. Said she was gonna get a swat for that. Yep. The imp laughed.
I read the last entry to the blog. My wife left a few things out. The list is lengthy even for the imp.
Adjusted the showerhead in exercise room to high, the temp to cold so when I stepped in the shower after my morning workout, I was blasted with ice water in the face.
Set the treadmill on high speed - just about fell on my face.
Put all the Cracker Jack prizes she saves for me in the safe "because it takes forever to collect them."
Added a bumper sticker to my SUV. "If you think I'm sexy, honk." I'm out running errands, wondering why a bunch of folks are honking - woman & MEN! What the hell? I load bags in the car, I see the bumper sticker. The imp has that innocent look on her face.
Emailed Santa not to believe false rumors.
I took care of all of this mischief while I was home. However, there's a strong possibility I will address it again next week. I told her there's been enough mischief at our house to last a lifetime. Sar said it was good fun. Probably but I think this is the "payback is a bitch" thing for staying in Europe too long. I know she missed me. God knows I go nuts when she isn't with me.
There's a possible third cat on the horizon. This would give us 4 dogs plus 3 cats. The bulldog pups are fosters, that's temporary. It seems Sar was at the shelter, saw a cat that was recovering from surgery. The critter had been set afire by some punks. In the process, the cat inhaled too much smoke, some of it damaged vocal cords so it makes little noise. Because the fur will look bad for a while, chances are slim the animal will be adopted. I told mia bambina it is impossible to save every needy animal out there. Sar's reply was she could save this one. We'll see.
Yeah, a little retribution is in order. Don't panic. Spanking Neanderthals and imps are a good match. Meanwhile, good thoughts are always welcome.
Cowboy
Made it home for birthday celebrations. As usual, mia bambina outdid herself. Didn't know who the male stripper was supposed to be - damn grateful he backed out. There was a camel which the imp insisted I ride. That's because the ponies she hired could hold the female guests but none of the male. On top of that, there was a damn elephant! Some kid in the neighborhood had a birthday party, had a camel, my wife was there, the rest was easy to figure out. So Sar gets on a pony. I'm on the camel. She challenges me to a race. While the imp passes the finish line, the camel I'm on is busy chewing grass. I give it a nudge to move. It spits. Everybody laughs. I give the imp a certain look. The imp laughs.
About those bulldog pups. Sar says I didn't get a look. I got a look. Ok, 5 of them but give me a break here. 5 puppies that aren't weaned, need feeding and all that involves, grooming, etc. The woman I married never met a dog she didn't love - will probably have them sit, down, come and watch her before they're another week old. There was no need for 5 more dogs. I told her they get adopted ASAP or I'll toast her tush every day we have them longer than necessary. Sar laughed. About those prayers?
Somebody drank my merlot! I don't care who or what but somebody should replace my merlot before I get home. Somebody should have known better. Somebody got more than a few swats. Same somebody laughed.
There's more. I was in Europe longer than expected. Apparently Sar thought that was license to clean out my closet - lost my favorite sweatshirt, some t-shirts, shoes, socks, God knows what else. She *straightened* the garage. More prayers please! Nails, drill bits, other small things reorganized, lined up by size. Ok, not too bad except for- "didn't see any use for some thingamajigs I couldn't identify so I threw them away." Just about bit my tongue off gritting my teeth! No laughter when I upended her. Got suggestions for a food taster, though.
All mischief aside, I'm still the luckiest guy on the planet. Living life to the fullest is just one of a lot of things that woman does that keeps me sane, keeps me young, often keeps her upended but you knew that.
During the few days I was home there was a military function we attended, dress whites for me, ball gown for mia amore. Sar wore a new gown, dark blue and long, the sapphire earrings I gave her for our first Christmas a lot of years ago. I was the proudest officer there, no one else comes close to the beautiful woman I married. Sar carried a small shoulder bag. I happened to bump it, it seemed a little heavy for lipstick and such. I asked what was in it. A chocolate bar in case she got hungry, a yo-yo in case she got bored. Said she was gonna get a swat for that. Yep. The imp laughed.
I read the last entry to the blog. My wife left a few things out. The list is lengthy even for the imp.
Adjusted the showerhead in exercise room to high, the temp to cold so when I stepped in the shower after my morning workout, I was blasted with ice water in the face.
Set the treadmill on high speed - just about fell on my face.
Put all the Cracker Jack prizes she saves for me in the safe "because it takes forever to collect them."
Added a bumper sticker to my SUV. "If you think I'm sexy, honk." I'm out running errands, wondering why a bunch of folks are honking - woman & MEN! What the hell? I load bags in the car, I see the bumper sticker. The imp has that innocent look on her face.
Emailed Santa not to believe false rumors.
I took care of all of this mischief while I was home. However, there's a strong possibility I will address it again next week. I told her there's been enough mischief at our house to last a lifetime. Sar said it was good fun. Probably but I think this is the "payback is a bitch" thing for staying in Europe too long. I know she missed me. God knows I go nuts when she isn't with me.
There's a possible third cat on the horizon. This would give us 4 dogs plus 3 cats. The bulldog pups are fosters, that's temporary. It seems Sar was at the shelter, saw a cat that was recovering from surgery. The critter had been set afire by some punks. In the process, the cat inhaled too much smoke, some of it damaged vocal cords so it makes little noise. Because the fur will look bad for a while, chances are slim the animal will be adopted. I told mia bambina it is impossible to save every needy animal out there. Sar's reply was she could save this one. We'll see.
Yeah, a little retribution is in order. Don't panic. Spanking Neanderthals and imps are a good match. Meanwhile, good thoughts are always welcome.
Cowboy
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Late to the Party Again!
I know! I know! It's been a long time since I posted. Mea culpa, life has grabbed ahold of me and is squeezing toooooo hard!
This is just a brief note 'cause I'm swamped but the giant squid said he'd update this blog today or tomorrow. He promised. He always keeps his promises, especially the ones I wish he'd forget... never mind.
I believe it is my patriotic duty to let you know - in advance - that you shouldn't believe everything he says... We did NOT have a male stripper at his birthday party. Truth is, the wuss backed out when he realized the party was for his commanding officer. But I did rent a camel.
A Naval officer of some rank gleefully said... "I hear the Admiral spanked you." It's not true that I said... "I hear the Admiral demoted you." Wellll I said something similar but those were NOT my exact words. Tsk.
It's not true that I brought a dozen dogs back from the shelter to take up temporary residence in our kennels. I was delivering a few bags of dry dog food and as always, I wander through the building to see if there are any pups that will be turned over to pure dog rescue and might come to my attention in the next few weeks. HONEST! I was just looking. You know how life sometimes just grabs you and no matter what you were doing or thinking... it takes you on a fork in the road that you hadn't explored before? Welllll I heard squealing and other puppy noises so I followed those sounds.
A couple of teeny tiny baby bulldogs - all by themselves - their mama died - had to be hand fed - were currently 4 - 5 weeks old. WRINKLES! I felt weak just looking at them. The shelter caretaker let me take them out so I could play with them in their puppy room. I sat on the floor and they crawled all over me. I couldn't stop hugging them. They had PUPPY BREATH and pink bellies! Ohhhhhhh I fell in love and took them home to foster.
I think it was meant to be. That's what I told Cowboy. It is against my religion - Sar-ism - to repeat the naughty things he said, especially because he muttered the words in Italian and it's so easy to exaggerate in that language. And when he tells you there were a DOZEN puppies, he is so o-l-d, he's forgotten how to count correctly. 12 does not follow 4. There were only uh... five of them. And they're so small! All together they probably are as big as one bulldog, maybe 1 1/2. They're in the house until they are big enough to stay in the kennels. The cats immediately took charge and are keeping them groomed.
And furthermore, I did not drink his merlot. SweetPea did.
And... no matter what David says, I did not send slinkies to the marines in Iraq. I sent yo-yo's (to the marines in Afghanistan.)
I'm sure he'll tell you other awful things. Please remember I'm a saint who lives with a Neanderthal, a spanking Neanderthal.
Tsk.
Final rant: Can you believe Mother Nature? Tomatoes are suspect! Why couldn't she have ruined the broccoli crops? I love tomatoes! I can barely tolerate looking at broccoli. DOUBLE tsk!
Cowboy was home for his birthday and now he's up and left AGAIN. But I saw his return flight voucher and I know he'll be home next week. I went out of my way to make a new peach cake that was SO delicious the pups and I ate the whole thing. I told him about it in an email. He said you're making that for me when I come home, right?
LOL! Doesn't he know peaches are way too expensive these days? (I wonder if the baby bullies like peaches?)
~Sar~
This is just a brief note 'cause I'm swamped but the giant squid said he'd update this blog today or tomorrow. He promised. He always keeps his promises, especially the ones I wish he'd forget... never mind.
I believe it is my patriotic duty to let you know - in advance - that you shouldn't believe everything he says... We did NOT have a male stripper at his birthday party. Truth is, the wuss backed out when he realized the party was for his commanding officer. But I did rent a camel.
A Naval officer of some rank gleefully said... "I hear the Admiral spanked you." It's not true that I said... "I hear the Admiral demoted you." Wellll I said something similar but those were NOT my exact words. Tsk.
It's not true that I brought a dozen dogs back from the shelter to take up temporary residence in our kennels. I was delivering a few bags of dry dog food and as always, I wander through the building to see if there are any pups that will be turned over to pure dog rescue and might come to my attention in the next few weeks. HONEST! I was just looking. You know how life sometimes just grabs you and no matter what you were doing or thinking... it takes you on a fork in the road that you hadn't explored before? Welllll I heard squealing and other puppy noises so I followed those sounds.
A couple of teeny tiny baby bulldogs - all by themselves - their mama died - had to be hand fed - were currently 4 - 5 weeks old. WRINKLES! I felt weak just looking at them. The shelter caretaker let me take them out so I could play with them in their puppy room. I sat on the floor and they crawled all over me. I couldn't stop hugging them. They had PUPPY BREATH and pink bellies! Ohhhhhhh I fell in love and took them home to foster.
I think it was meant to be. That's what I told Cowboy. It is against my religion - Sar-ism - to repeat the naughty things he said, especially because he muttered the words in Italian and it's so easy to exaggerate in that language. And when he tells you there were a DOZEN puppies, he is so o-l-d, he's forgotten how to count correctly. 12 does not follow 4. There were only uh... five of them. And they're so small! All together they probably are as big as one bulldog, maybe 1 1/2. They're in the house until they are big enough to stay in the kennels. The cats immediately took charge and are keeping them groomed.
And furthermore, I did not drink his merlot. SweetPea did.
And... no matter what David says, I did not send slinkies to the marines in Iraq. I sent yo-yo's (to the marines in Afghanistan.)
I'm sure he'll tell you other awful things. Please remember I'm a saint who lives with a Neanderthal, a spanking Neanderthal.
Tsk.
Final rant: Can you believe Mother Nature? Tomatoes are suspect! Why couldn't she have ruined the broccoli crops? I love tomatoes! I can barely tolerate looking at broccoli. DOUBLE tsk!
Cowboy was home for his birthday and now he's up and left AGAIN. But I saw his return flight voucher and I know he'll be home next week. I went out of my way to make a new peach cake that was SO delicious the pups and I ate the whole thing. I told him about it in an email. He said you're making that for me when I come home, right?
LOL! Doesn't he know peaches are way too expensive these days? (I wonder if the baby bullies like peaches?)
~Sar~
Sunday, May 25, 2008
My Wife
Cowboy here. Sar seems to forget that I can read the blog even when I'm out of the country. I'll be home next week so I'll catch up on all her mischief then.
I see the blog hasn't updated lately but I'll tell you what I know.
I call everyday, sometimes 2 or more times. Don't mind telling you I miss the imp. Nighttime is hard but being unable to look at her or touch her is damn hard too. Yeah I miss her teasing, cooking and more I won't discuss.
I asked if she was behaving. The imp declared that she's always been a saint. Uh huh. Sar spent some time out at David's house on the island - he's away at the moment. Brought all the dogs and cats plus the dog that was being fostered. She hosted a "sweet" lunch for lady friends. That means a lot of dessert and I don't know what else. From past experience I know they got into mischief but what actually happened I won't know until I get home. With a bit of luck, David's house is still standing. Hopefully it hasn't been painted pink. Sar's lady friends are prone to leaving man-sized lingerie for him hanging in full view plus other embarrassing items. Sar assures me that's to let him know everyone thinks of him while he's off doing "marine" things.
I think a swat is in order for that remark alone.
When I called a couple weeks back, the conversation started off with "I may as well tell you--" which means something occurred that I'm going to learn about regardless. I shook my head but asked what it was.
Unbelievably, Sar went to the doc without me dragging her there. That's momentous in itself. Apparently she's been getting occasional shooting pains down her leg. I was assured that it's not every day, just once in a while. A bit of discussion later I discover it mostly happens when she's gone to sleep. The doc says maybe sciatica. A body scan was inconclusive - no apparent disc problem so physical therapy is in order to alleviate the discomfort.
Yesterday's phone call - a bit of prompting on my part revealed that the imp has yet to see a physical therapist. Why not? I wanted to know. She's feeling better. Sitting, standing and walking are pain free.
Uh huh. I'll take care of that when I get home.
In the meantime the imp has prepared a bunch of my favorite meals and desserts, frozen until I'm home. She says I'm in for a few surprises. Would appreciate a prayer sent my way that none of those surprises bark, meow, fly, swim or are on the endangered species list.
Sar tells me the Siberian Husky has been adopted by a family with youngsters. According to the rules of adoption, they have a fenced yard, a vet lined up for checkups and the dog will live in the house. The family will attend obedience classes so they can learn the correct commands and continue the socialization of the animal. All in all, a good home. I'm damn proud of my imp. Sar's placed a lot of dogs over the years. The Husky and family will be back to visit us at our annual 4th of July picnic. All the dogs in the area that we've fostered that Sar trained/placed in new homes come for a reunion that weekend. Watching them rush to greet her, to be next to the woman who rescued them - a good day for animal rescue.
I'll be home in a few days.
Cowboy
I see the blog hasn't updated lately but I'll tell you what I know.
I call everyday, sometimes 2 or more times. Don't mind telling you I miss the imp. Nighttime is hard but being unable to look at her or touch her is damn hard too. Yeah I miss her teasing, cooking and more I won't discuss.
I asked if she was behaving. The imp declared that she's always been a saint. Uh huh. Sar spent some time out at David's house on the island - he's away at the moment. Brought all the dogs and cats plus the dog that was being fostered. She hosted a "sweet" lunch for lady friends. That means a lot of dessert and I don't know what else. From past experience I know they got into mischief but what actually happened I won't know until I get home. With a bit of luck, David's house is still standing. Hopefully it hasn't been painted pink. Sar's lady friends are prone to leaving man-sized lingerie for him hanging in full view plus other embarrassing items. Sar assures me that's to let him know everyone thinks of him while he's off doing "marine" things.
I think a swat is in order for that remark alone.
When I called a couple weeks back, the conversation started off with "I may as well tell you--" which means something occurred that I'm going to learn about regardless. I shook my head but asked what it was.
Unbelievably, Sar went to the doc without me dragging her there. That's momentous in itself. Apparently she's been getting occasional shooting pains down her leg. I was assured that it's not every day, just once in a while. A bit of discussion later I discover it mostly happens when she's gone to sleep. The doc says maybe sciatica. A body scan was inconclusive - no apparent disc problem so physical therapy is in order to alleviate the discomfort.
Yesterday's phone call - a bit of prompting on my part revealed that the imp has yet to see a physical therapist. Why not? I wanted to know. She's feeling better. Sitting, standing and walking are pain free.
Uh huh. I'll take care of that when I get home.
In the meantime the imp has prepared a bunch of my favorite meals and desserts, frozen until I'm home. She says I'm in for a few surprises. Would appreciate a prayer sent my way that none of those surprises bark, meow, fly, swim or are on the endangered species list.
Sar tells me the Siberian Husky has been adopted by a family with youngsters. According to the rules of adoption, they have a fenced yard, a vet lined up for checkups and the dog will live in the house. The family will attend obedience classes so they can learn the correct commands and continue the socialization of the animal. All in all, a good home. I'm damn proud of my imp. Sar's placed a lot of dogs over the years. The Husky and family will be back to visit us at our annual 4th of July picnic. All the dogs in the area that we've fostered that Sar trained/placed in new homes come for a reunion that weekend. Watching them rush to greet her, to be next to the woman who rescued them - a good day for animal rescue.
I'll be home in a few days.
Cowboy
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Rants & Raves
Rant: Cowboy is still away. He made it back to DC, then down to North Carolina. Just when I was expecting him home, he was called back to DC and they sent him back to Europe!
... that's what he said, anyway...
Rave: I ordered half a cow and the pups and I have been eating STEAK!
Rave: We've had lunch at every fast food place within a 50-mile radius.
Rant: I visit a particular chat room regularly; friends are there that I've known for upteen years. We're old pals. Recently... one lady referred to her husband as Captain Jerk. I was startled. Err... and I said so.
Another lady said "Isn't that the same as calling Cowboy a giant squid?"
Uh... no. A squid/swabbie is a sailor. Cowboy is a sailor; that's not an insult. And he's 6 feet 5 inches tall. Ergo, he's a giant squid.
I know this woman loves her husband but I don't understand referring to one's beloved as a jerk. Do you? If you do, would you enlighten me?
Rant: Got a few emails asking why I don't update the blog more often. Hmmm... lemme see..... Time? Life?
Rant: Did I mention Cowboy is still away?
Rave: The pups and I are at David's house in the San Juans. I took all four of them with me plus the Husky plus the two cats. The cats have renewed their acquaintance with David's giant tortoise. They ride on her shell and she seems to like their company.
I worked in his yard today, planting a few things that can thrive in salty air. Tortoise followed us everywhere in the yard. Of course, by the time she got to where we were, we had moved on to another spot. I gave her some Twinkies. Tortoises are not very cuddly, however.
Rave: I went to the doc by myself before we came out here to the beach. Also saw a vampire. Just want to announce that neither of them requested an immediate transfer after my appointment.
... I must be losing my touch.
Rant: Getting the occasional shooting pain down my leg. Doc says he wants to test me for sciatica. I stopped running and jogging and am just doing bionic walking. If that doesn't ease the pain, I'll think about physical therapy. And the therapist better be cute!
Rave: Sidney, the Siberian Husky passed his obedience trials! He passed on voice commands and on hand signals! I am so-o-o proud of that feisty pup! He handles well and is eager to please. I've conditioned him to remain calm while his ears are checked, teeth brushed, nails filed. And he's ticklish which is really funny. Right now the pup is enjoying the beach with the rest of the menagerie. I have two good families in line waiting to see him and take him home. One has young children, the other has pre-teens. It will be a hard choice.
Rant: Cowboy is still away. His birthday is first week of June. I plan to bake a peach cake, a giant peach cobbler, peach drop cookies and make peach ice cream. I've invited some folks over and if he doesn't show up in time, we're going to eat alllll of it without him.
Grumble - Moan - Whine - Complain!
Rave: Spring has finally sprung! The weather is clear, sunny and in the 50's - lovely. My garden at home is in full bloom, tulips everywhere, weeping cherry trees weeping pink and white flowers, and the hummingbirds are starting to show up. Woody Woodpecker is back poking holes in the pines... a raccoon jumped in the yard, saw the Rotts, jumped out again.
Rave: One of my neighbors has been trying to lose weight ever since I've known her - about 10 years. I drag her out of bed and make her walk with me which she will do as long as it's not raining, not drizzling, not a hint of rain, no snowing, no sleet, no wind. She goes to AA - has been going for 100 years and a few months ago met a guy... She walks e-v-e-r-y morning now and often in the afternoon and again in the evening. She's lost 40 pounds! I am so proud of her! All she needed was a little incentive. She said he threatened to spank her if she didn't take better care of herself.
Naturally, I was shocked! Tsk. What is this world coming to?
I told Cowboy about it and he said he was shocked, too. He also said that was something he might have to try when he gets home!
Honestly... as if I ever did anything to deserve that kind of treatment.
On further consideration, I'm going to eat all those peach goodies all by myself.
Rant: Did I mention Cowboy is still away? I really miss him.
~Sar~
... that's what he said, anyway...
Rave: I ordered half a cow and the pups and I have been eating STEAK!
Rave: We've had lunch at every fast food place within a 50-mile radius.
Rant: I visit a particular chat room regularly; friends are there that I've known for upteen years. We're old pals. Recently... one lady referred to her husband as Captain Jerk. I was startled. Err... and I said so.
Another lady said "Isn't that the same as calling Cowboy a giant squid?"
Uh... no. A squid/swabbie is a sailor. Cowboy is a sailor; that's not an insult. And he's 6 feet 5 inches tall. Ergo, he's a giant squid.
I know this woman loves her husband but I don't understand referring to one's beloved as a jerk. Do you? If you do, would you enlighten me?
Rant: Got a few emails asking why I don't update the blog more often. Hmmm... lemme see..... Time? Life?
Rant: Did I mention Cowboy is still away?
Rave: The pups and I are at David's house in the San Juans. I took all four of them with me plus the Husky plus the two cats. The cats have renewed their acquaintance with David's giant tortoise. They ride on her shell and she seems to like their company.
I worked in his yard today, planting a few things that can thrive in salty air. Tortoise followed us everywhere in the yard. Of course, by the time she got to where we were, we had moved on to another spot. I gave her some Twinkies. Tortoises are not very cuddly, however.
Rave: I went to the doc by myself before we came out here to the beach. Also saw a vampire. Just want to announce that neither of them requested an immediate transfer after my appointment.
... I must be losing my touch.
Rant: Getting the occasional shooting pain down my leg. Doc says he wants to test me for sciatica. I stopped running and jogging and am just doing bionic walking. If that doesn't ease the pain, I'll think about physical therapy. And the therapist better be cute!
Rave: Sidney, the Siberian Husky passed his obedience trials! He passed on voice commands and on hand signals! I am so-o-o proud of that feisty pup! He handles well and is eager to please. I've conditioned him to remain calm while his ears are checked, teeth brushed, nails filed. And he's ticklish which is really funny. Right now the pup is enjoying the beach with the rest of the menagerie. I have two good families in line waiting to see him and take him home. One has young children, the other has pre-teens. It will be a hard choice.
Rant: Cowboy is still away. His birthday is first week of June. I plan to bake a peach cake, a giant peach cobbler, peach drop cookies and make peach ice cream. I've invited some folks over and if he doesn't show up in time, we're going to eat alllll of it without him.
Grumble - Moan - Whine - Complain!
Rave: Spring has finally sprung! The weather is clear, sunny and in the 50's - lovely. My garden at home is in full bloom, tulips everywhere, weeping cherry trees weeping pink and white flowers, and the hummingbirds are starting to show up. Woody Woodpecker is back poking holes in the pines... a raccoon jumped in the yard, saw the Rotts, jumped out again.
Rave: One of my neighbors has been trying to lose weight ever since I've known her - about 10 years. I drag her out of bed and make her walk with me which she will do as long as it's not raining, not drizzling, not a hint of rain, no snowing, no sleet, no wind. She goes to AA - has been going for 100 years and a few months ago met a guy... She walks e-v-e-r-y morning now and often in the afternoon and again in the evening. She's lost 40 pounds! I am so proud of her! All she needed was a little incentive. She said he threatened to spank her if she didn't take better care of herself.
Naturally, I was shocked! Tsk. What is this world coming to?
I told Cowboy about it and he said he was shocked, too. He also said that was something he might have to try when he gets home!
Honestly... as if I ever did anything to deserve that kind of treatment.
On further consideration, I'm going to eat all those peach goodies all by myself.
Rant: Did I mention Cowboy is still away? I really miss him.
~Sar~
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Cowboy's Still Away!
He's been in Europe, probably working a 7 - 3 shift, eating gourmet meals and spending leisurely afternoons on the beach ogling the bikini clad women. The women, in turn, are flirting like crazy and flaunting their charms at the giant squid.
I'm gonna smack him upside the head when he gets home.
Meanwhile, on the home front, I'm not sleeping much. I don't stay up too late; I get sleepy and jump into the sack with Cowpoke, the squid's clone. I sprayed the doll with Cowboy's after-shave and I snuggle up with it, put the doll's arms around me and that's okay for a while. But it doesn't whisper in my ear or pull me back into an embrace if I roll over.
I'm definitely gonna smack the giant squid upside the head for leaving me at home.
I wake up about 3 a.m. most nights. If the squid was home, he'd cuddle me back to sleep. He's not at home so I get up and eat something and then work in my studio until I'm falling on my face and fall asleep again. Sometimes I make it back to bed; other times I wake up on the futon in my studio when BullyBoy licks my face 'cause the beastie has to go out to pee.
If the squid was home this would never happen. First, I'd still be in bed; next, he'd let the dogs out. I should smack him when he gets home.
We've been eating large. We ate an entire gallon of lime sherbet - the pups and I - so when Cowboy called and asked if I've eaten anything green, I could honestly say I did and lots of it.
Taking the Husky to obedience trials next week; he's a smart pup and has learned the basic commands very quickly. He still gets naughty with the female Rott; she still bites him on the nose when he gets too familiar. I'm interviewing prospective owners for him; he'll be ready to move to his "forever" home in no time.
There's this really cute guy who runs the obedience trials... since Cowboy is away, I may have to flirt with him. If the squid was home, he'd be with me and I'd keep my distance but since he flew off to Europe and left me alone...
My neighbor, MsKeptWoman, asked me to go shopping with her. Her sugar daddy is flying in from Belgium and she needs new lingerie. I grabbed Cowboy's extra credit card - the one he said to use if I had an emergency - and went with her. I bought the prettiest under things! The only thing is... I forgot to keep track of how much I spent but since the credit card company didn't reject any of the charges, I'm guessing I didn't hit the credit limit.
I'm thinking if I wear some of the new lingerie and hold a peach cobbler in my hand... that might make the giant squid forget about the credit card bill. That's what happens when I'm left alone to fend for myself when he flies off to Europe.
I was going to get the outside deck resealed. We got a lot of rain this winter and Cowboy wanted it done while he was away. But... Nordstrom's had a huge sale on shoes... a new chocolate shoppe just opened and I wanted to support the local economy and buy a little of everything they make, the pups needed new collars, and I saw some beautiful batik fabric I had to have... And besides, men should get the decks resealed; women should spend their money.
Is that a sexist attitude?
Too bad.
And if he complains about any of this, I'm gonna smack him upside the head! (Then I'm gonna get the hell out of Dodge!)
~Sar~
Note: I haven't been able to access my email for a while. Yahoo assures me it will be fixed any minute now - that was a few days ago.
I'm gonna smack him upside the head when he gets home.
Meanwhile, on the home front, I'm not sleeping much. I don't stay up too late; I get sleepy and jump into the sack with Cowpoke, the squid's clone. I sprayed the doll with Cowboy's after-shave and I snuggle up with it, put the doll's arms around me and that's okay for a while. But it doesn't whisper in my ear or pull me back into an embrace if I roll over.
I'm definitely gonna smack the giant squid upside the head for leaving me at home.
I wake up about 3 a.m. most nights. If the squid was home, he'd cuddle me back to sleep. He's not at home so I get up and eat something and then work in my studio until I'm falling on my face and fall asleep again. Sometimes I make it back to bed; other times I wake up on the futon in my studio when BullyBoy licks my face 'cause the beastie has to go out to pee.
If the squid was home this would never happen. First, I'd still be in bed; next, he'd let the dogs out. I should smack him when he gets home.
We've been eating large. We ate an entire gallon of lime sherbet - the pups and I - so when Cowboy called and asked if I've eaten anything green, I could honestly say I did and lots of it.
Taking the Husky to obedience trials next week; he's a smart pup and has learned the basic commands very quickly. He still gets naughty with the female Rott; she still bites him on the nose when he gets too familiar. I'm interviewing prospective owners for him; he'll be ready to move to his "forever" home in no time.
There's this really cute guy who runs the obedience trials... since Cowboy is away, I may have to flirt with him. If the squid was home, he'd be with me and I'd keep my distance but since he flew off to Europe and left me alone...
My neighbor, MsKeptWoman, asked me to go shopping with her. Her sugar daddy is flying in from Belgium and she needs new lingerie. I grabbed Cowboy's extra credit card - the one he said to use if I had an emergency - and went with her. I bought the prettiest under things! The only thing is... I forgot to keep track of how much I spent but since the credit card company didn't reject any of the charges, I'm guessing I didn't hit the credit limit.
I'm thinking if I wear some of the new lingerie and hold a peach cobbler in my hand... that might make the giant squid forget about the credit card bill. That's what happens when I'm left alone to fend for myself when he flies off to Europe.
I was going to get the outside deck resealed. We got a lot of rain this winter and Cowboy wanted it done while he was away. But... Nordstrom's had a huge sale on shoes... a new chocolate shoppe just opened and I wanted to support the local economy and buy a little of everything they make, the pups needed new collars, and I saw some beautiful batik fabric I had to have... And besides, men should get the decks resealed; women should spend their money.
Is that a sexist attitude?
Too bad.
And if he complains about any of this, I'm gonna smack him upside the head! (Then I'm gonna get the hell out of Dodge!)
~Sar~
Note: I haven't been able to access my email for a while. Yahoo assures me it will be fixed any minute now - that was a few days ago.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Alone Again...
Deserted.
Abandoned.
Left at the altar.
Neglected.
Cowboy went out of town - out of the country, actually. He left me to eat all the ice cream by myself. It's a monumental task but I'll do my best. I made a fresh pan of tiramisu to eat in between quarts of Rocky Road and French Vanilla.
"I expect you to eat nutritious while I'm away," the big guy said before he left.
... Hmmm... Did he say nutritious or delicious? I vote for delicious. Nobody squeal.
I'm sleeping with Cowboy's clone. It had a disastrous accident when Cowboy came home from night duty once and found me asleep with the clone's anatomically correct body sleeping behind me, its arms around me. He tossed it across the room and let the pups have a go at it. They did a canine style autopsy on it and I had a devil of a time putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. It has a few scars but "everything" has been reattached. I hate sleeping alone.
"I bought you a body pillow," the same big guy reminded me before he left. "Sleep with that."
... Uh... sure.
"And make sure you get to bed at a decent hour. I don't want you up all night on the computer."
While the cat's away...
Moving right along...
Got a new foster this week, a handsome Husky pup with those beautiful neon-blue eyes. He has no manners, some undesirable habits and has been returned to the shelter twice. Very unruly behavior.
He's bright as a whip! I let him run around like a squirrel on uppers and when he finally plopped down in front of me - exhausted and tongue hanging out - I checked him out. He's in great physical shape plus clean ears, clean teeth, wicked naughty grin.
He's a jumper and a nipper. He nipped BullyBoy.
Big mistake. BullyBoy rolled over him and sat on his head.
Not sure but I think the Rotts laughed.
Jumping is easy to cure. There are several ways. One way is a knee in a dog's chest when it jumps, the command OFF! and quickly turn your back. I don't always raise my knee - if the dog is large and heavier than me, I can injure my knee. I usually say "UH-UH!" loudly and then turn my back. It takes a few repetitions but usually takes care of the problem in no time. Naturally, the command has to be reinforced regularly if the pup slips back into the bad habit. Lots of praise (and bits of dried liver or chicken) when the pup is behaving correctly.
So... the Husky jumped my Rott, Panda. She reared up and bit his nose. That's another way to cure jumping.
We had a super Easter dinner with good friends and Passover is around the corner. I hope the giant squid will be home in time to enjoy it. If he isn't, I'll have to sacrifice the main meal and concentrate on all the desserts. I've been cooking and baking like crazy to try new recipes.
Swooooon
Passover Brownies - Passover Honey cake - Passover Lemon Cheesecake - Citrus Sponge Cake and Caramel Matzoh Crunch.
Main meal has two entrees: Veal with wild mushrooms and red wine and Passover Pot roast - both moist and delicious.
Side dishes are Apple Matzoh Kugel, the traditional hard boiled eggs, carrot ring and charoset. I generally make an apple/walnut charoset but this year, I'm adding two others - apricot/pistachio charoset, which I think is Sephardic and another made with apples/walnuts/dates/bananas and raisins. Is that healthy or what?
Not sure I'm making soup this year but there will be a fresh salad buffet so no one can say I was skimpy on the veggies.
Patrick will ask the four questions. If Cowboy isn't back in time, I will venture some creative answers... Patrick will also hide the "afekomen" and I will bribe him to give it to me so I can ask for a pony. One year, when he was much younger, he fell asleep during dinner and couldn't remember where he hid it. We turned the house upside down looking for it. Never found it but I still think BullyBoy ate it.
~Sar~
Abandoned.
Left at the altar.
Neglected.
Cowboy went out of town - out of the country, actually. He left me to eat all the ice cream by myself. It's a monumental task but I'll do my best. I made a fresh pan of tiramisu to eat in between quarts of Rocky Road and French Vanilla.
"I expect you to eat nutritious while I'm away," the big guy said before he left.
... Hmmm... Did he say nutritious or delicious? I vote for delicious. Nobody squeal.
I'm sleeping with Cowboy's clone. It had a disastrous accident when Cowboy came home from night duty once and found me asleep with the clone's anatomically correct body sleeping behind me, its arms around me. He tossed it across the room and let the pups have a go at it. They did a canine style autopsy on it and I had a devil of a time putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. It has a few scars but "everything" has been reattached. I hate sleeping alone.
"I bought you a body pillow," the same big guy reminded me before he left. "Sleep with that."
... Uh... sure.
"And make sure you get to bed at a decent hour. I don't want you up all night on the computer."
While the cat's away...
Moving right along...
Got a new foster this week, a handsome Husky pup with those beautiful neon-blue eyes. He has no manners, some undesirable habits and has been returned to the shelter twice. Very unruly behavior.
He's bright as a whip! I let him run around like a squirrel on uppers and when he finally plopped down in front of me - exhausted and tongue hanging out - I checked him out. He's in great physical shape plus clean ears, clean teeth, wicked naughty grin.
He's a jumper and a nipper. He nipped BullyBoy.
Big mistake. BullyBoy rolled over him and sat on his head.
Not sure but I think the Rotts laughed.
Jumping is easy to cure. There are several ways. One way is a knee in a dog's chest when it jumps, the command OFF! and quickly turn your back. I don't always raise my knee - if the dog is large and heavier than me, I can injure my knee. I usually say "UH-UH!" loudly and then turn my back. It takes a few repetitions but usually takes care of the problem in no time. Naturally, the command has to be reinforced regularly if the pup slips back into the bad habit. Lots of praise (and bits of dried liver or chicken) when the pup is behaving correctly.
So... the Husky jumped my Rott, Panda. She reared up and bit his nose. That's another way to cure jumping.
We had a super Easter dinner with good friends and Passover is around the corner. I hope the giant squid will be home in time to enjoy it. If he isn't, I'll have to sacrifice the main meal and concentrate on all the desserts. I've been cooking and baking like crazy to try new recipes.
Swooooon
Passover Brownies - Passover Honey cake - Passover Lemon Cheesecake - Citrus Sponge Cake and Caramel Matzoh Crunch.
Main meal has two entrees: Veal with wild mushrooms and red wine and Passover Pot roast - both moist and delicious.
Side dishes are Apple Matzoh Kugel, the traditional hard boiled eggs, carrot ring and charoset. I generally make an apple/walnut charoset but this year, I'm adding two others - apricot/pistachio charoset, which I think is Sephardic and another made with apples/walnuts/dates/bananas and raisins. Is that healthy or what?
Not sure I'm making soup this year but there will be a fresh salad buffet so no one can say I was skimpy on the veggies.
Patrick will ask the four questions. If Cowboy isn't back in time, I will venture some creative answers... Patrick will also hide the "afekomen" and I will bribe him to give it to me so I can ask for a pony. One year, when he was much younger, he fell asleep during dinner and couldn't remember where he hid it. We turned the house upside down looking for it. Never found it but I still think BullyBoy ate it.
~Sar~
Friday, April 04, 2008
Quick Note
Cowboy here. I see we haven't updated this page in a while. Sar is busy trying to meet deadlines so I thought I'd drop you a line or 2. The surgeries she had a few months ago kept her from doing too much in her studio. She's way behind in delivering contracted work so she's been back at it daily, working about 10-12 hour days, probably more if I'm not at home.
Then there was baking for David and Bull to take when they deployed, then Easter baking. Now Passover is around the corner. I brought takeout home regularly and I cook a few things so the imp doesn't have to fret about supper. The downside to all this is I'm missing her cooking and I have one worn out imp. The upside is that mia bambina is sleeping like a log, a plus for someone who suffers periodic insomnia.
There's a writing contest Sar enters every year. I think she puts a bit of time into that too. You won't see that story, whatever it is, until the contest is over but at least you know one is in the wings to be posted in a while. Sar says as soon as that story is finished - due any day now I think - she'll concentrate on finishing a couple that were in the works for her web site. A little more patience on your part and things will return to normal. Normal, when it comes to my wife, is a relative term.
Weather's been unusual. We had several inches of snow first of April - Mother Nature's joke on us. Lost a few seedlings that were recently planted and had a cherry blossom tree split in half. Sar was sick about that but I had an arborist out to check it out. Discovered the tree can be treated and saved. Neighborhood kids no doubt influenced by my wife, took advantage of the snow and made snow people. Their parents were embarrassed by the detail they put into it. Sar was so pleased she stopped work to make fried ice cream for them. Living with an imp is never boring.
Animal news - the padlock is back on the refrigerator. The mastiff has figured out how to open it and has been eating self-serve style. Other than beer, the dog is attracted to round objects. He ate an entire cantaloupe plus a honey dew melon as well. For once, I'm grateful there were no peaches in the bin. One of our cats is an avid hunter, bringing Sar a mouse every other day. Sar says the cat stays inside or she's taking it out to David's house to live. Mice, alive or dead, do not inspire my wife to cuddle the feline or offer praise. Fact is, the woman screams bloody murder which makes the rest of the menagerie come running. My sweet wife screaming - hard to believe, huh?
More good news - I have been informed that Cracker Jack (caramel coated popcorn + nuts) is being packaged back in their original blue and white boxes and have prizes. The woman in my life who is 5 parts sugar and 5 parts sexy spice is delirious. Sar bought as many boxes as she could find in 1 grocery store and then went shopping in several others. Cracker Jack boxes fill an entire shelving unit in the garage. My tools, which had been on those shelves, are now lined up against the wall. I had a few things to say about that. My wife had a few things to say too, the main theory being Cracker Jacks get eaten on a daily basis; tools are only used occasionally. Did she get swatted for that? What do you think?
Cowboy
Then there was baking for David and Bull to take when they deployed, then Easter baking. Now Passover is around the corner. I brought takeout home regularly and I cook a few things so the imp doesn't have to fret about supper. The downside to all this is I'm missing her cooking and I have one worn out imp. The upside is that mia bambina is sleeping like a log, a plus for someone who suffers periodic insomnia.
There's a writing contest Sar enters every year. I think she puts a bit of time into that too. You won't see that story, whatever it is, until the contest is over but at least you know one is in the wings to be posted in a while. Sar says as soon as that story is finished - due any day now I think - she'll concentrate on finishing a couple that were in the works for her web site. A little more patience on your part and things will return to normal. Normal, when it comes to my wife, is a relative term.
Weather's been unusual. We had several inches of snow first of April - Mother Nature's joke on us. Lost a few seedlings that were recently planted and had a cherry blossom tree split in half. Sar was sick about that but I had an arborist out to check it out. Discovered the tree can be treated and saved. Neighborhood kids no doubt influenced by my wife, took advantage of the snow and made snow people. Their parents were embarrassed by the detail they put into it. Sar was so pleased she stopped work to make fried ice cream for them. Living with an imp is never boring.
Animal news - the padlock is back on the refrigerator. The mastiff has figured out how to open it and has been eating self-serve style. Other than beer, the dog is attracted to round objects. He ate an entire cantaloupe plus a honey dew melon as well. For once, I'm grateful there were no peaches in the bin. One of our cats is an avid hunter, bringing Sar a mouse every other day. Sar says the cat stays inside or she's taking it out to David's house to live. Mice, alive or dead, do not inspire my wife to cuddle the feline or offer praise. Fact is, the woman screams bloody murder which makes the rest of the menagerie come running. My sweet wife screaming - hard to believe, huh?
More good news - I have been informed that Cracker Jack (caramel coated popcorn + nuts) is being packaged back in their original blue and white boxes and have prizes. The woman in my life who is 5 parts sugar and 5 parts sexy spice is delirious. Sar bought as many boxes as she could find in 1 grocery store and then went shopping in several others. Cracker Jack boxes fill an entire shelving unit in the garage. My tools, which had been on those shelves, are now lined up against the wall. I had a few things to say about that. My wife had a few things to say too, the main theory being Cracker Jacks get eaten on a daily basis; tools are only used occasionally. Did she get swatted for that? What do you think?
Cowboy
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Me and Rocky
... and the giant squid.
The New York Times had a huge museum section this week. Museums all over the world are featuring new exhibits and I want to see them all. New York, of course, is loaded with museums but an exhibit I especially want to see is the Fashion and Textile History Gallery at the Museum at FIT. An exhibit of Frida Kahlo - artist, icon, rebel - is at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. I could run up those stairs like Rocky did to see her work.
I tried that a time or two. The first time I did that, I was really out of breath and Cowboy yelled at me for running. It was winter time and I warmed up fast - in more ways than one... The second time I ran up all those stairs, the Neanderthal chased me! And behind one of those fat columns near the entrance, he gave me a swat! In public! Needless to say I didn't share my snacks with him. Tsk.
Anyway, I'd like to see Frida Kahlo's work.
The Museum of Fine Arts in Boston is featuring "El Greco to Velázquez. And in Minnesota, the Minneapolis Institute of Art is showing "Arts of Japan"- 900 years of seductive beauty. Ohhhhh I really want to see that. I mentioned this over breakfast. He mumbled something unintelligible; not sure if his mouth was full of waffles and peach syrup... or he was being non-committal.
I'm a fiber artist. Textiles are my medium. I need inspiration now and then - feeds the soul. I told all this to that tall fellow I live with.
Cro-Magnum man had another waffle.
I also mentioned that the museums in Switzerland and a few European cities were also showing new exhibits.
"Pass the syrup, Sar."
You think he was ignoring me? Tsk.
"And the Smithsonian has several new exhibitions. One's at the Hirshhorn, another at the Museum of Natural History and while we're there, we could visit old friends. (We used to live in a DC/Virginia bedroom community.)
"I'm making a few more waffles; want one, bambina?"
"I'm booking tickets to New York," I announced just to see if he was listening.
SWAT!
Oye! He was listening.
Moving right along...
Just a few more days till Easter. We have a small guest list this year, about 12, not our usual large and rowdy crowd. I've been baking new stuff to see what I'd like to serve for dessert. The hams I ordered came today; they'll be honey baked with glaze. I'm making spoon bread which is always a big hit and a couple kinds of potatoes. Salad bar for the health conscious; corn chowder and a spinach/pepperoni/chicken soup for starters. I'm not going overboard on appetizers - just a variety of cheeses, dips and crackers. Dessert will be stupendous, of course, and since everything will be buffet style, I'll start with that course first.
"You better eat a meal before you tackle the sweet stuff, imp."
"Ohhhhh no sense making peach cobbler I guess."
SWAT!
Laughing softly.
David gave me a chocolate Easter bunny... with NO ears! That man has no class.
Bull gave me a basket with a dozen small chocolate bunnies and watched me eat all the ears. That man has class.
Cowboy said he's waiting until Easter Sunday to bring a basket home for me. It better have chocolate bunnies and lots of jellybeans. I peeked into his office, the closet, the liquor cabinet, the gun cabinet and all through his desk to see if he was hiding chocolate bunnies. Nada, nothing.
Purim is at the end of the month. I've already made Hamentaschen - prune, apricot and blackberry. I'll be making more of that; I love that cookie/tart. Bull ate the first batch right out of the oven. Tsk.
And Passover is a month away. Leaves me a little time to prepare between holidays unless...
I might sneak away to New York to see those museum exhibitions when no one is looking.
"And get your tush blistered when I catch up with you!"
Tsk. The man has no couth.
SWAT!
Really, people - NO couth!
On a miserable note...
David and Bull deploy the day after Easter. I'm so miserable about this I can't stand it. I'm torn between baking plenty of goodies for them to take with them and wanting to smack them upside the head for going overseas again - to a war zone, no less!
I did smack David but he was sitting. Oh boy! He stood up FAST! I ran behind the Rott and SweetPea stood on his hind legs and showed his pearly whites. David sat down again. He grumbled something in Marine-speak which got lost in the translation. Marines are like that when riled.
I had to stand on a chair to smack Bull but the behemoth just hugged me tight and told me everything was going to be all right. Naturally, Cowboy walked into the kitchen while Bull was hugging me...
"Unhand my woman, mister!"
Cowboy literally tossed me over his shoulder and proceeded to go up the stairs to our bedroom. That's when I noticed that the light fixtures in the hallway really needed dusting...
I could hire someone to do that while I'm in New York enjoying all the new museum exhibits. Or... I could call Sylvester Stallone and see if he wants to join me in running up the stairs of the Philadelphia museum. I bet I could get to the top faster than he does. Anyone know his number?
~Sar~
The New York Times had a huge museum section this week. Museums all over the world are featuring new exhibits and I want to see them all. New York, of course, is loaded with museums but an exhibit I especially want to see is the Fashion and Textile History Gallery at the Museum at FIT. An exhibit of Frida Kahlo - artist, icon, rebel - is at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. I could run up those stairs like Rocky did to see her work.
I tried that a time or two. The first time I did that, I was really out of breath and Cowboy yelled at me for running. It was winter time and I warmed up fast - in more ways than one... The second time I ran up all those stairs, the Neanderthal chased me! And behind one of those fat columns near the entrance, he gave me a swat! In public! Needless to say I didn't share my snacks with him. Tsk.
Anyway, I'd like to see Frida Kahlo's work.
The Museum of Fine Arts in Boston is featuring "El Greco to Velázquez. And in Minnesota, the Minneapolis Institute of Art is showing "Arts of Japan"- 900 years of seductive beauty. Ohhhhh I really want to see that. I mentioned this over breakfast. He mumbled something unintelligible; not sure if his mouth was full of waffles and peach syrup... or he was being non-committal.
I'm a fiber artist. Textiles are my medium. I need inspiration now and then - feeds the soul. I told all this to that tall fellow I live with.
Cro-Magnum man had another waffle.
I also mentioned that the museums in Switzerland and a few European cities were also showing new exhibits.
"Pass the syrup, Sar."
You think he was ignoring me? Tsk.
"And the Smithsonian has several new exhibitions. One's at the Hirshhorn, another at the Museum of Natural History and while we're there, we could visit old friends. (We used to live in a DC/Virginia bedroom community.)
"I'm making a few more waffles; want one, bambina?"
"I'm booking tickets to New York," I announced just to see if he was listening.
SWAT!
Oye! He was listening.
Moving right along...
Just a few more days till Easter. We have a small guest list this year, about 12, not our usual large and rowdy crowd. I've been baking new stuff to see what I'd like to serve for dessert. The hams I ordered came today; they'll be honey baked with glaze. I'm making spoon bread which is always a big hit and a couple kinds of potatoes. Salad bar for the health conscious; corn chowder and a spinach/pepperoni/chicken soup for starters. I'm not going overboard on appetizers - just a variety of cheeses, dips and crackers. Dessert will be stupendous, of course, and since everything will be buffet style, I'll start with that course first.
"You better eat a meal before you tackle the sweet stuff, imp."
"Ohhhhh no sense making peach cobbler I guess."
SWAT!
Laughing softly.
David gave me a chocolate Easter bunny... with NO ears! That man has no class.
Bull gave me a basket with a dozen small chocolate bunnies and watched me eat all the ears. That man has class.
Cowboy said he's waiting until Easter Sunday to bring a basket home for me. It better have chocolate bunnies and lots of jellybeans. I peeked into his office, the closet, the liquor cabinet, the gun cabinet and all through his desk to see if he was hiding chocolate bunnies. Nada, nothing.
Purim is at the end of the month. I've already made Hamentaschen - prune, apricot and blackberry. I'll be making more of that; I love that cookie/tart. Bull ate the first batch right out of the oven. Tsk.
And Passover is a month away. Leaves me a little time to prepare between holidays unless...
I might sneak away to New York to see those museum exhibitions when no one is looking.
"And get your tush blistered when I catch up with you!"
Tsk. The man has no couth.
SWAT!
Really, people - NO couth!
On a miserable note...
David and Bull deploy the day after Easter. I'm so miserable about this I can't stand it. I'm torn between baking plenty of goodies for them to take with them and wanting to smack them upside the head for going overseas again - to a war zone, no less!
I did smack David but he was sitting. Oh boy! He stood up FAST! I ran behind the Rott and SweetPea stood on his hind legs and showed his pearly whites. David sat down again. He grumbled something in Marine-speak which got lost in the translation. Marines are like that when riled.
I had to stand on a chair to smack Bull but the behemoth just hugged me tight and told me everything was going to be all right. Naturally, Cowboy walked into the kitchen while Bull was hugging me...
"Unhand my woman, mister!"
Cowboy literally tossed me over his shoulder and proceeded to go up the stairs to our bedroom. That's when I noticed that the light fixtures in the hallway really needed dusting...
I could hire someone to do that while I'm in New York enjoying all the new museum exhibits. Or... I could call Sylvester Stallone and see if he wants to join me in running up the stairs of the Philadelphia museum. I bet I could get to the top faster than he does. Anyone know his number?
~Sar~
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Yada Yada Yada
Cowboy calls this rambling; I call it stream of consciousness. Basically, it's all disconnected.
My Panda Rott had pneumonia. She's much better now. We go to the vet tomorrow and if x-rays show that her lungs are clear, she'll go back to the yard and her kennel. She's antsy in the house but has developed a passionate crush on the refrigerator.
Miss Emmy, the slut cat, has been living under the bed while Panda's in the house.
We're having spring weather during the day, winter at night. I took the pups for a walk and came upon a toddler wandering around his front yard. No mama in sight. Sweet Pea was an English nanny in a previous life and he immediately took charge of the baby, licked its face and invited those chubby hands to pet and yank and pull and poke and finally, the child plopped down between the Rott's front paws. I waited... about 10 minutes later, mama showed up, shrieked that a black monster dog was attacking her child. I contained myself, called the dog to me and muttered unkind things about her parenting skills as we went on our way. Tsk. He didn't even drool on her. If it had been BullyBoy who licked the kid, she would have had cause for alarm; his drool is lethal.
She called the police... long story short they warned her to take better care of her child and made a big fuss over Sweet Pea when they dropped by the house. The dog took the adoration in style; that English nanny gene he carries is awesome.
Cowboy had to go to the base unexpectedly (allegedly) last night. He said he was meeting with commandants and other senior brass from the neighboring bases. He also said it was a high level - hush hush - meeting. Between you and me I think they were drinking beer, playing poker and smoking cigars. (This might earn me a swat or two when he reads this.)
Well... at least they weren't stinking up my house and eating everything in the refrigerator. (I suspect the swats are adding up.)
It's income tax season in the states. The accountant called. Are you sitting? He said chocolate was not a prescribed drug. Thoroughly shocked, I was! I argued that some people get an Rx for marijuana for medicinal purposes. Surely, I could get a similar exemption. After all chocolate makes me calmer and happier and that alleviates stress for my husband who needs a clear head when he is on duty. The accountant said in that case Cowboy should file a separate business expense form and get the deduction since he is the basic beneficiary of my chocolate intake.
Uncouth fellow. I'm going to file my taxes and look for a new accountant. Tsk.
Cowboy has to be on the East Coast in the not-too-distant future. While he's there, he's going to zip down to Western North Carolina and take a look around. As much as we love it out here in the Pacific Northwest boonies, he misses the East Coast. I told him he could move... and I'd visit now and then. Yeah, yeah, his hand made immediate contact with my bottom before I even blinked! He said that area of the country has things we don't have. Yeah... like bugs and heat and humidity and brown spiders - ickkk - and plenty of tornado scares. We don't have bugs or heat or humidity and only an occasional earthquake... We also have an OCEAN and a multitude of lakes. Western North Carolina is INLAND and way across the state from the ocean. They do have lakes and pretty mountains but we live in the valley between two mountain ranges - the Olympics and the Cascades - doesn't get prettier than that.
~ sigh ~ This does not make me happy.
I told the giant squid he'd better check if the area has peach trees 'cause if they don't, that could be a deal breaker. I'll think of other reasons not to move east if he gets serious about this. Oye! This could be a hint of what he's going to be like when he retires - in the very near future. I may have to emigrate.
Speaking of emigration... depending on who gets elected POTUS in November... I might have to move. Always liked Iceland.
Tried a new cake - caramel, walnut, banana upside down cake. Delish! Soooo good, the pups and I ate the whole thing. I guess I should make one for the giant squid. I'll post the recipe after I finish snacking the rest of the caramel, walnut topping. It goes good with peanut butter and waffles which the pups and I ate while watching a documentary on sharks. The narrator was enamored of the sea monsters. Personally, I think he was hug-deprived as a child.
Did I mention that both David and Bull are deploying to the Middle East in a few weeks? I smacked both of them upside the head. They've done that before; they don't need to do that again. Did they listen? No! I will be a basket case until they return. Naturally I'll take out my frustration on Cowboy.
What is it with men and long hair? I decided to surprise my beloved one night last week by waltzing into the bedroom as we prepared for bed. I wore v-e-r-y high heels, my birthday suit and showed off my new short short haircut. Did he notice my birthday suit?
"What the hell did you do to your hair?" He sputtered something like that.
Sheesh! Got a warm tush till I yanked my wig off. When he realized I still had long hair, he apologized. Gee, thanks. Just for that, he can go to North Carolina without me.
~Sar~
P.S. I've lost a great deal of my electronic address book. Slowly compiling it again so if you were waiting for an email from me... please drop me a quick note so I can reply.
My Panda Rott had pneumonia. She's much better now. We go to the vet tomorrow and if x-rays show that her lungs are clear, she'll go back to the yard and her kennel. She's antsy in the house but has developed a passionate crush on the refrigerator.
Miss Emmy, the slut cat, has been living under the bed while Panda's in the house.
We're having spring weather during the day, winter at night. I took the pups for a walk and came upon a toddler wandering around his front yard. No mama in sight. Sweet Pea was an English nanny in a previous life and he immediately took charge of the baby, licked its face and invited those chubby hands to pet and yank and pull and poke and finally, the child plopped down between the Rott's front paws. I waited... about 10 minutes later, mama showed up, shrieked that a black monster dog was attacking her child. I contained myself, called the dog to me and muttered unkind things about her parenting skills as we went on our way. Tsk. He didn't even drool on her. If it had been BullyBoy who licked the kid, she would have had cause for alarm; his drool is lethal.
She called the police... long story short they warned her to take better care of her child and made a big fuss over Sweet Pea when they dropped by the house. The dog took the adoration in style; that English nanny gene he carries is awesome.
Cowboy had to go to the base unexpectedly (allegedly) last night. He said he was meeting with commandants and other senior brass from the neighboring bases. He also said it was a high level - hush hush - meeting. Between you and me I think they were drinking beer, playing poker and smoking cigars. (This might earn me a swat or two when he reads this.)
Well... at least they weren't stinking up my house and eating everything in the refrigerator. (I suspect the swats are adding up.)
It's income tax season in the states. The accountant called. Are you sitting? He said chocolate was not a prescribed drug. Thoroughly shocked, I was! I argued that some people get an Rx for marijuana for medicinal purposes. Surely, I could get a similar exemption. After all chocolate makes me calmer and happier and that alleviates stress for my husband who needs a clear head when he is on duty. The accountant said in that case Cowboy should file a separate business expense form and get the deduction since he is the basic beneficiary of my chocolate intake.
Uncouth fellow. I'm going to file my taxes and look for a new accountant. Tsk.
Cowboy has to be on the East Coast in the not-too-distant future. While he's there, he's going to zip down to Western North Carolina and take a look around. As much as we love it out here in the Pacific Northwest boonies, he misses the East Coast. I told him he could move... and I'd visit now and then. Yeah, yeah, his hand made immediate contact with my bottom before I even blinked! He said that area of the country has things we don't have. Yeah... like bugs and heat and humidity and brown spiders - ickkk - and plenty of tornado scares. We don't have bugs or heat or humidity and only an occasional earthquake... We also have an OCEAN and a multitude of lakes. Western North Carolina is INLAND and way across the state from the ocean. They do have lakes and pretty mountains but we live in the valley between two mountain ranges - the Olympics and the Cascades - doesn't get prettier than that.
~ sigh ~ This does not make me happy.
I told the giant squid he'd better check if the area has peach trees 'cause if they don't, that could be a deal breaker. I'll think of other reasons not to move east if he gets serious about this. Oye! This could be a hint of what he's going to be like when he retires - in the very near future. I may have to emigrate.
Speaking of emigration... depending on who gets elected POTUS in November... I might have to move. Always liked Iceland.
Tried a new cake - caramel, walnut, banana upside down cake. Delish! Soooo good, the pups and I ate the whole thing. I guess I should make one for the giant squid. I'll post the recipe after I finish snacking the rest of the caramel, walnut topping. It goes good with peanut butter and waffles which the pups and I ate while watching a documentary on sharks. The narrator was enamored of the sea monsters. Personally, I think he was hug-deprived as a child.
Did I mention that both David and Bull are deploying to the Middle East in a few weeks? I smacked both of them upside the head. They've done that before; they don't need to do that again. Did they listen? No! I will be a basket case until they return. Naturally I'll take out my frustration on Cowboy.
What is it with men and long hair? I decided to surprise my beloved one night last week by waltzing into the bedroom as we prepared for bed. I wore v-e-r-y high heels, my birthday suit and showed off my new short short haircut. Did he notice my birthday suit?
"What the hell did you do to your hair?" He sputtered something like that.
Sheesh! Got a warm tush till I yanked my wig off. When he realized I still had long hair, he apologized. Gee, thanks. Just for that, he can go to North Carolina without me.
~Sar~
P.S. I've lost a great deal of my electronic address book. Slowly compiling it again so if you were waiting for an email from me... please drop me a quick note so I can reply.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Neanderthal Checking In
Cowboy here. It's been a stretch between blog posts so I'm updating for my sweetheart. Sar's asleep - a break in her day to take a much needed nap. A few things going on. She had a mild case of pneumonia, nothing to worry about the doc said. I worry anyway. Forced those meds down her throat, ignored the "Sar cussing" I always hear when I do that. Remembered to keep a leg around hers so I didn't get kicked while the meds did their magic. There's a slight cough still happening but for the most part, she's feeling ok.
The imp's back in the kitchen, couldn't be happier. Mia innamorata made a feast last night that rivals most restaurants - osa bucca, rigatoni coated in pesto, antipasto, plus a rich chocolate/apricot beignet for dessert. Got home a bit early, saw what was on the stove and was ready to eat there and then. The little devil made me wait till our normal dinner hour, about 2 hours later.
Our female Rott has been coughing for a few days. Sar brought the animal into the house. The dog and her mate have a heated kennel - the weather's been fairly mild but my wife wanted the beast close by. Long story short: Sar took her temp, the animal had a fever, cough was harsh and continuous. Bundled up the dog (and Sar) & went to the vet. Panda has pneumonia.
A shot, meds, a comfortable bed in front of the fire calmed things down a bit. Had to bring Tank into the house. The dog barked until he could lay down by his partner. Both spending the night in the house and Sar taking Panda's temp periodically. Cough is calmer - just like Sar's-- Mia bambina dragged a sleeping bag downstairs to be next to the dogs. I know better than to object. Can't sleep alone; I got another sleeping bag, etc.
As soon as Sar's other 2 dogs saw her lay next to the Rott, they settled by our side. 3 Rotts and a Bull Mastiff - about 500 lbs. of fur - mia bambina in the middle. (Plus the 2 cats.) Couldn't believe I let her get away with that but it was the lesser of the 2 evils. She would have been up and down the stairs all night. This way, she got a bit of rest.
She was up early this morning, cooking breakfast for the menagerie, checking Panda's temp. The animal got homemade chicken soup with noodles which the other dogs *had* to have, English muffins smothered in honey; god knows what else. I had to make my own breakfast.
Sar tells me to give Panda a pill. Yeah, right. I pry the dog's mouth open, eye all those teeth, toss in a pill and get it spit back at me. Sar walks over - holds the dog's muzzle - says "open." The animal opens its mouth, Sar pushes pill down its throat. Dog swallows. Dog licks the imp's face. Sar kisses dog. Unbelievable.
I swat her for the hell of it. The woman laughs!
There was a break in the laughter when I asked her what *she* ate for breakfast. A few swats later, I made her breakfast. I put the plate in front of the imp, said "open" and learned I was a Neanderthal.
Cowboy
The imp's back in the kitchen, couldn't be happier. Mia innamorata made a feast last night that rivals most restaurants - osa bucca, rigatoni coated in pesto, antipasto, plus a rich chocolate/apricot beignet for dessert. Got home a bit early, saw what was on the stove and was ready to eat there and then. The little devil made me wait till our normal dinner hour, about 2 hours later.
Our female Rott has been coughing for a few days. Sar brought the animal into the house. The dog and her mate have a heated kennel - the weather's been fairly mild but my wife wanted the beast close by. Long story short: Sar took her temp, the animal had a fever, cough was harsh and continuous. Bundled up the dog (and Sar) & went to the vet. Panda has pneumonia.
A shot, meds, a comfortable bed in front of the fire calmed things down a bit. Had to bring Tank into the house. The dog barked until he could lay down by his partner. Both spending the night in the house and Sar taking Panda's temp periodically. Cough is calmer - just like Sar's-- Mia bambina dragged a sleeping bag downstairs to be next to the dogs. I know better than to object. Can't sleep alone; I got another sleeping bag, etc.
As soon as Sar's other 2 dogs saw her lay next to the Rott, they settled by our side. 3 Rotts and a Bull Mastiff - about 500 lbs. of fur - mia bambina in the middle. (Plus the 2 cats.) Couldn't believe I let her get away with that but it was the lesser of the 2 evils. She would have been up and down the stairs all night. This way, she got a bit of rest.
She was up early this morning, cooking breakfast for the menagerie, checking Panda's temp. The animal got homemade chicken soup with noodles which the other dogs *had* to have, English muffins smothered in honey; god knows what else. I had to make my own breakfast.
Sar tells me to give Panda a pill. Yeah, right. I pry the dog's mouth open, eye all those teeth, toss in a pill and get it spit back at me. Sar walks over - holds the dog's muzzle - says "open." The animal opens its mouth, Sar pushes pill down its throat. Dog swallows. Dog licks the imp's face. Sar kisses dog. Unbelievable.
I swat her for the hell of it. The woman laughs!
There was a break in the laughter when I asked her what *she* ate for breakfast. A few swats later, I made her breakfast. I put the plate in front of the imp, said "open" and learned I was a Neanderthal.
Cowboy
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Chicken Little was Right!
The sky is falling! Or... some other disaster caused the earth to slip off its axis... briefly.
Astounding news: The giant squid has a cold! (Second one in 25 years.)
It's possible he's had others but if he did, they occurred when he was at sea and I didn't know about it.
Back to the basics: He woke up with a slight cough. It grew into a much more frequent cough... manly groans were emitted. Naturally, I was delighted... err... I mean shocked that an upper respiratory nasty had the gumption to attack a giant Neanderthal. Amazed I was!
Now... I admit I do not want to see my beloved under the weather under any circumstance but people... this was just too much karma smacking him in the puss! I said he HAD to take some of that vile cough medicine he is forever forcing down my throat when I have just the tiniest sniffle.
He refused. Folded his arms across his chest and refused.
AHA! Well, I can't force it down his throat. Cowboy's a big fella and holding him down, prying open his mouth, etc is just not an option. I called for reinforcements. David was in a meeting and Bull, the wuss, said he wasn't that brave. Tsk.
However, I'm a woman and as such, resourceful. I pulled out the big guns.
I stood in the doorway to the bedroom - a discreet distance from Cro-Magnum man - and ate warm peach cobbler topped with vanilla ice cream. Nonchalantly, I swore NEVER to make peach cobbler again unless he took his medicine like a grownup.
Oh my! He practically inhaled that vile green stuff - gagged - swallowed - and glared. Ahhhhh... so sorry I didn't catch that on video.
Then he grabbed the dish of cobbler and inhaled that. LOL!
I wanted to take his temperature but the last time I was ill, I actually got sick of being held down while he stuck a thermometer in my mouth or ear so when the squid was elsewhere I hid both thermometers. Unfortunately I can't remember when I stashed them so I had to feel his forehead and guess whether he had a fever... 105!
Cowboy snorted, muttered something in Italian and I laughed.
SWAT!
Tsk!
I told him he was much too sick for anything strenuous like his daily workout and that the medicine would let him rest comfortably. Heard another set of garbled vocalizations in Italian - one word I recognized, a naughty one, tsk. I decided a little TLC was in order - straddled his chest and rubbed my forehead against his. Massaged his neck and chest and realized the band was tuning up... Made him turn over and massaged his back until he was totally relaxed and almost asleep. Was getting off the bed when this giant arm reached out and grabbed me!
Utterly shocked I was!
"Somebody better be making a fresh peach cobbler," he said.
Always nice to know some things never change.
Am I susceptible to his cold? Of course. Who do you think gave him a cold in the first place? Just call me Typhoid Mary. Cowboy never gets sick but this time, he caught my cold. I've been coughing like crazy - much much better now - and even though the stars were all aligned, there must have been some upset in the universe for the giant squid to catch cold.
When men are under the weather you get treated to a whole other side of their personality. I'm a lady and will refrain from horrifying you with the details. Suffice to say... they descended from apes. (Probably baboons.)
SWAT!
Tsk
Obviously, the truth hurts.
SWAT!
Double Tsk
I'm making more peach cobbler. Apparently it soothes the savage beast. Cobbler + hot tea + tight hugs = a happier giant squid.
Since Cowboy is under the weather for a few days and it's February... I said we would have to extend our February-ing into March. Cowboy agreed and said that's why they call it March Madness.
Oh boy!
~Sar~
Astounding news: The giant squid has a cold! (Second one in 25 years.)
It's possible he's had others but if he did, they occurred when he was at sea and I didn't know about it.
Back to the basics: He woke up with a slight cough. It grew into a much more frequent cough... manly groans were emitted. Naturally, I was delighted... err... I mean shocked that an upper respiratory nasty had the gumption to attack a giant Neanderthal. Amazed I was!
Now... I admit I do not want to see my beloved under the weather under any circumstance but people... this was just too much karma smacking him in the puss! I said he HAD to take some of that vile cough medicine he is forever forcing down my throat when I have just the tiniest sniffle.
He refused. Folded his arms across his chest and refused.
AHA! Well, I can't force it down his throat. Cowboy's a big fella and holding him down, prying open his mouth, etc is just not an option. I called for reinforcements. David was in a meeting and Bull, the wuss, said he wasn't that brave. Tsk.
However, I'm a woman and as such, resourceful. I pulled out the big guns.
I stood in the doorway to the bedroom - a discreet distance from Cro-Magnum man - and ate warm peach cobbler topped with vanilla ice cream. Nonchalantly, I swore NEVER to make peach cobbler again unless he took his medicine like a grownup.
Oh my! He practically inhaled that vile green stuff - gagged - swallowed - and glared. Ahhhhh... so sorry I didn't catch that on video.
Then he grabbed the dish of cobbler and inhaled that. LOL!
I wanted to take his temperature but the last time I was ill, I actually got sick of being held down while he stuck a thermometer in my mouth or ear so when the squid was elsewhere I hid both thermometers. Unfortunately I can't remember when I stashed them so I had to feel his forehead and guess whether he had a fever... 105!
Cowboy snorted, muttered something in Italian and I laughed.
SWAT!
Tsk!
I told him he was much too sick for anything strenuous like his daily workout and that the medicine would let him rest comfortably. Heard another set of garbled vocalizations in Italian - one word I recognized, a naughty one, tsk. I decided a little TLC was in order - straddled his chest and rubbed my forehead against his. Massaged his neck and chest and realized the band was tuning up... Made him turn over and massaged his back until he was totally relaxed and almost asleep. Was getting off the bed when this giant arm reached out and grabbed me!
Utterly shocked I was!
"Somebody better be making a fresh peach cobbler," he said.
Always nice to know some things never change.
Am I susceptible to his cold? Of course. Who do you think gave him a cold in the first place? Just call me Typhoid Mary. Cowboy never gets sick but this time, he caught my cold. I've been coughing like crazy - much much better now - and even though the stars were all aligned, there must have been some upset in the universe for the giant squid to catch cold.
When men are under the weather you get treated to a whole other side of their personality. I'm a lady and will refrain from horrifying you with the details. Suffice to say... they descended from apes. (Probably baboons.)
SWAT!
Tsk
Obviously, the truth hurts.
SWAT!
Double Tsk
I'm making more peach cobbler. Apparently it soothes the savage beast. Cobbler + hot tea + tight hugs = a happier giant squid.
Since Cowboy is under the weather for a few days and it's February... I said we would have to extend our February-ing into March. Cowboy agreed and said that's why they call it March Madness.
Oh boy!
~Sar~
Monday, February 11, 2008
Oh Joy!
It's still February and we're still February-ing. Every day is Valentine's Day. I'm up to my neck in chocolate and let me tell you... it's delicious!
The giant squid has had to work odd hours and he worked ALL weekend. However... he has alllll this week off so we can February in style! I have delicious plans for him... err... for us and I'm positive he has a few naughty plans as well. I told him to be sure and get as much rest as possible because I want to enjoy every moment and we all know he's o-l-d!
SWAT!
Laughing softly...
A huge box was delivered yesterday, an early Valentine's present. It turned out to be several DOZEN boxes of Twinkies! The card said it was from a grateful industry... The Twinkie Farmers of America! LOL! And it was postmarked from Council Bluffs, Iowa which is really a suburb of Omaha, Nebraska. I wonder who Cowboy knows in Council Bluffs. I got such a good laugh out of that. Then I wondered... how come I haven't heard from the Cracker Jack Company or Hershey's or Nestle's, etc.
SWAT!
Tsk
I can't divulge the naughtiness I have planned for this week but a few years ago, I thought Cowboy wasn't as attentive as he should have been. I was annoyed with him so in a pout, I replaced the license plate on his car with one that read "Big Kahuna."
Naturally, a police person stopped him.
When I heard what sounded like thunder... I knew he had been pulled over. "Yelling SAR ADORA! at the top of his lungs usually makes the earth rotate off its axis for a couple of seconds. Plus some friends called to ask if a jet had really broken Mach 2 over our neighborhood or was the giant squid perturbed about something I did?
LOL! That was fun... at least until he got home... I lied and said David did it but unfortunately, he didn't fall for that. He said he didn't get a ticket - just a warning. He told the policeman his wife was mad at him and in true male bonding nonsense, the officer sympathized.
Tsk and double tsk!
Got upended on the spot! Did I ever mention the man lacks couth!
The squid usually takes care of his own car, oil change, etc but he was really busy and asked me to take it in for one of those maintenance things.
Light bulb flash!
I brought the mechanic a chocolate frosted chocolate cake... in exchange for a teeny tiny favor which he happily did for me.
Sooooo the squid picks up his car and drives it home. But every time he braked... the engine did one of those revving up sounds that kids do when they want to drag race with you. Icing on the cake... every time he used the horn, it didn't "horn;" it "hubba hubba-ed" instead. LOL! There he is, in uniform...
Well, let me add that being spanked by a man in uniform is very sexy - especially the after stuff.
But that was when I was young and into mischief on a full-time basis. Now I try to think of more sophisticated mischief and if that doesn't keep him young I can always go back to my youthful ways. That's my job, right? Keeping him young and interested and rested and attentive...
For Valentine's Day I got him a very nice key chain that has a mini digital camera attached. The camera holds 60 mini pictures which I loaded. There are dozens of me and a couple of his naked Neanderthal butt. I lost the directions... Darn!
I'm starting to cook again; it's wonderful to be back in the kitchen and I'm working in my studio, too. I'm taking it slow - don't want a relapse. Cowboy came in to check on me - to see if I was overdoing it.
I decided to overdo it. Stripped... cued the band... did a two-step... jumped his bones... his hand descended... Something very satisfying about making a Neanderthal smile... groan... whisper my name.
~Sar~
The giant squid has had to work odd hours and he worked ALL weekend. However... he has alllll this week off so we can February in style! I have delicious plans for him... err... for us and I'm positive he has a few naughty plans as well. I told him to be sure and get as much rest as possible because I want to enjoy every moment and we all know he's o-l-d!
SWAT!
Laughing softly...
A huge box was delivered yesterday, an early Valentine's present. It turned out to be several DOZEN boxes of Twinkies! The card said it was from a grateful industry... The Twinkie Farmers of America! LOL! And it was postmarked from Council Bluffs, Iowa which is really a suburb of Omaha, Nebraska. I wonder who Cowboy knows in Council Bluffs. I got such a good laugh out of that. Then I wondered... how come I haven't heard from the Cracker Jack Company or Hershey's or Nestle's, etc.
SWAT!
Tsk
I can't divulge the naughtiness I have planned for this week but a few years ago, I thought Cowboy wasn't as attentive as he should have been. I was annoyed with him so in a pout, I replaced the license plate on his car with one that read "Big Kahuna."
Naturally, a police person stopped him.
When I heard what sounded like thunder... I knew he had been pulled over. "Yelling SAR ADORA! at the top of his lungs usually makes the earth rotate off its axis for a couple of seconds. Plus some friends called to ask if a jet had really broken Mach 2 over our neighborhood or was the giant squid perturbed about something I did?
LOL! That was fun... at least until he got home... I lied and said David did it but unfortunately, he didn't fall for that. He said he didn't get a ticket - just a warning. He told the policeman his wife was mad at him and in true male bonding nonsense, the officer sympathized.
Tsk and double tsk!
Got upended on the spot! Did I ever mention the man lacks couth!
The squid usually takes care of his own car, oil change, etc but he was really busy and asked me to take it in for one of those maintenance things.
Light bulb flash!
I brought the mechanic a chocolate frosted chocolate cake... in exchange for a teeny tiny favor which he happily did for me.
Sooooo the squid picks up his car and drives it home. But every time he braked... the engine did one of those revving up sounds that kids do when they want to drag race with you. Icing on the cake... every time he used the horn, it didn't "horn;" it "hubba hubba-ed" instead. LOL! There he is, in uniform...
Well, let me add that being spanked by a man in uniform is very sexy - especially the after stuff.
But that was when I was young and into mischief on a full-time basis. Now I try to think of more sophisticated mischief and if that doesn't keep him young I can always go back to my youthful ways. That's my job, right? Keeping him young and interested and rested and attentive...
For Valentine's Day I got him a very nice key chain that has a mini digital camera attached. The camera holds 60 mini pictures which I loaded. There are dozens of me and a couple of his naked Neanderthal butt. I lost the directions... Darn!
I'm starting to cook again; it's wonderful to be back in the kitchen and I'm working in my studio, too. I'm taking it slow - don't want a relapse. Cowboy came in to check on me - to see if I was overdoing it.
I decided to overdo it. Stripped... cued the band... did a two-step... jumped his bones... his hand descended... Something very satisfying about making a Neanderthal smile... groan... whisper my name.
~Sar~
Friday, February 01, 2008
It's February!
A very special month in our house - the month of much chocolate and lovin' and special treats and surprises and sweet spankings! (Also sweet mischief.)
I like to be awake before the giant squid opens his eyes on the first day of this month. I think I was... but I'm not sure. I climbed on top of him and placed butterfly kisses on his cheeks to wake him up but as I did this, I spied a humonguous heart-shaped box of chocolate turtles on the chair by the side of the bed. Turtles! The hell with the kisses! I know my priorities and jumped out of bed to get some of those.
Just as I was tearing into the box, an arm came out of nowhere! Snaked around my waist and grabbed me! Pulled me back to a very large chest and squeezed! Just so you know... when one is being squished to smithereens, it is not easy to open a box of chocolate turtles and try to breathe at the same time.
~ sigh ~ He got those kisses and more I won't disclose... I think I heard the band tuning up in the closet... and I finally got to stuff my face with chocolate turtles interspersed with chocolate kisses. Unfortunately, he expected me to share the turtles, too!
SWAT!
Tsk.
The snow melted but Mother Nature decided to give us more and it's a winter wonderland in the yard. I mentioned that it would be nice to bundle up and take a brisk walk in the snow...
"You can go out on one condition," the chocolate turtle thief said without blinking an eye.
"I'm listening!" I replied with great enthusiasm. I adore being out in the snow.
"When I toast your tush and it's so hot you can't stand still, I'll drop your bottom into a snow bank till you cool off. Then you're coming back into the house until summer time."
Tsk! I stopped listening. ...And did I mention he's a Neanderthal?
(My friends tell me I'm giving Neanderthals a bad name.)
SWAT!
Tsk.
Cowboy decided to do his workout before breakfast - he continues to sign up for physical fitness trials and exercises every day. But it's February... so after he got down on the exercise mat and started his pushups I decided to supervise... I like to sit on his back when he does pushups. It's easier to supervise from that position. He grumbles and mutters but he does that in Italian so my ears are spared the barbaric expressions. This time however...
I stood in front of him while he did pushups. Slowly but surely, I stooped until I could sit in front of him, then... stuck my legs out until they were under his chest, then... scooted all the way under him so that my belly was about even with his face as he lowered his body in the pushup.
Of course I was wearing my birthday suit...
Aha! I DID hear the band tune up... and up... and... so we begin the month of February on ummm... a high note. (wink)
~Sar~
I like to be awake before the giant squid opens his eyes on the first day of this month. I think I was... but I'm not sure. I climbed on top of him and placed butterfly kisses on his cheeks to wake him up but as I did this, I spied a humonguous heart-shaped box of chocolate turtles on the chair by the side of the bed. Turtles! The hell with the kisses! I know my priorities and jumped out of bed to get some of those.
Just as I was tearing into the box, an arm came out of nowhere! Snaked around my waist and grabbed me! Pulled me back to a very large chest and squeezed! Just so you know... when one is being squished to smithereens, it is not easy to open a box of chocolate turtles and try to breathe at the same time.
~ sigh ~ He got those kisses and more I won't disclose... I think I heard the band tuning up in the closet... and I finally got to stuff my face with chocolate turtles interspersed with chocolate kisses. Unfortunately, he expected me to share the turtles, too!
SWAT!
Tsk.
The snow melted but Mother Nature decided to give us more and it's a winter wonderland in the yard. I mentioned that it would be nice to bundle up and take a brisk walk in the snow...
"You can go out on one condition," the chocolate turtle thief said without blinking an eye.
"I'm listening!" I replied with great enthusiasm. I adore being out in the snow.
"When I toast your tush and it's so hot you can't stand still, I'll drop your bottom into a snow bank till you cool off. Then you're coming back into the house until summer time."
Tsk! I stopped listening. ...And did I mention he's a Neanderthal?
(My friends tell me I'm giving Neanderthals a bad name.)
SWAT!
Tsk.
Cowboy decided to do his workout before breakfast - he continues to sign up for physical fitness trials and exercises every day. But it's February... so after he got down on the exercise mat and started his pushups I decided to supervise... I like to sit on his back when he does pushups. It's easier to supervise from that position. He grumbles and mutters but he does that in Italian so my ears are spared the barbaric expressions. This time however...
I stood in front of him while he did pushups. Slowly but surely, I stooped until I could sit in front of him, then... stuck my legs out until they were under his chest, then... scooted all the way under him so that my belly was about even with his face as he lowered his body in the pushup.
Of course I was wearing my birthday suit...
Aha! I DID hear the band tune up... and up... and... so we begin the month of February on ummm... a high note. (wink)
~Sar~
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Looped-de-Loo!
...First... it's SNOWING! I love snow. I love rain, too, but snow has so many possibilities. You can walk in rain, splash through puddles, and if you have to stay indoors because a giant Neanderthal barricaded all the doors just to spoil your fun... You can put on flannel pj's and socks and open a window on the side of the house farthest away from the spoilsport and snuggle under the covers while the wind blows the drapes this way and that. Good sleeping weather.
Then, there's snow. You can slush through snow, cross-country ski across Ms-Hair-Up-Her-Ass' lawn, sled down the hill at the top of the road, wave when the giant Neanderthal runs out of the house and yells at you as you go sliding by, and BEST OF ALL, you can make anatomically correct snow people. I like making entire villages.
How else do you use up those crooked carrots and celery stalks and did you know that chocolate chip cookies make great nipples on breasts? Learn something every day - sigh.
The weather person said we'd get 3 inches of snow last night. We got 18 inches. This morning, he said the extra 15 were a favor to the kids cause they closed schools. Cowboy had to leave his car at the airport and he took a helo home. Landing a helo in the backyard is always a treat - the outside Rotts go nutso, the neighbors all rush over to watch and the rotors blow all the snow this way and that. Stand in front of the helo when it lands and you'll be covered in a mini-avalanche and no one will find you till spring thaw unless the Rotts pee on you and there's a good chance they'll do that if you stand still long enough.
Personally, I think the only reason the giant squid came home early was to make sure I wasn't out in the front yard making those anatomically correct snow people. I wanted to... but I'm just now beginning to feel well again and I didn't want to tempt pneumonia. Maybe tomorrow.
SWAT! The hell you will!
Tsk.
Yesterday, Glory made bourbon balls and rum balls. She and Vi and I ate ALL of them and boy oh boy! We were looped! I'm not much of a drinker - a sip of wine now and then and once in a great while, kahlua on the rocks with a twist of lime. So several dozen bourbon and rum balls later... we were giggling like crazy, telling wild stories from our youth - theirs, not mine - and enjoying our alcoholic high. Vi decided we should learn how to belly dance... Glory decided we should learn how to shimmy correctly... I gathered up strings and strings of beads for us to wear and chose some belly dancing/shimmy music and we were dancing and prancing all over the living room floor - half naked cause we had to show off our bellies and we shimmied so well... some of our clothes fell off although the beads stayed on - and Cowboy and David and Max came home...
David was vastly amused and leaned against the wall to watch. Cowboy, a veteran of my many "moonlight dances" made a strong pot of coffee - not sure if that was for him or for us. Max did a critique and made suggestions, all of which were slightly lewd and made his ladies giggle. Cowboy said the breath on the three of us could knock out an entire SEAL team. Tsk - I thought that was a rude thing to say. Glory poured him a glass of peach brandy and that pretty much shut him up.
SWAT!
Tsk.
We're expecting more snow tonight and there's a good chance we'll be snowed in. Vi and Glory and Max are supposed to fly out on Wednesday - down to New Orleans to spend time with friends before heading back to Chicago - but if we can't make it to the airport, they've promised to make my snow people village. I'm sketching the scenes - Glory will make a can-can dancer. She has a bustier to fill with snow to make the correct cleavage. Vi will make "ordinary" snow people - tsk. And Max has agreed to make a few unsavory characters. That man has a wonderfully perverted sense of humor.
I went to bed early last night - wiped out from the chocolate alcoholic treats. This morning I asked Cowboy if the ladies did anything naughty after I went to bed. He rolled his eyes and said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Tsk Do you suppose he meant me?
Double Tsk.
~Sar~
Then, there's snow. You can slush through snow, cross-country ski across Ms-Hair-Up-Her-Ass' lawn, sled down the hill at the top of the road, wave when the giant Neanderthal runs out of the house and yells at you as you go sliding by, and BEST OF ALL, you can make anatomically correct snow people. I like making entire villages.
How else do you use up those crooked carrots and celery stalks and did you know that chocolate chip cookies make great nipples on breasts? Learn something every day - sigh.
The weather person said we'd get 3 inches of snow last night. We got 18 inches. This morning, he said the extra 15 were a favor to the kids cause they closed schools. Cowboy had to leave his car at the airport and he took a helo home. Landing a helo in the backyard is always a treat - the outside Rotts go nutso, the neighbors all rush over to watch and the rotors blow all the snow this way and that. Stand in front of the helo when it lands and you'll be covered in a mini-avalanche and no one will find you till spring thaw unless the Rotts pee on you and there's a good chance they'll do that if you stand still long enough.
Personally, I think the only reason the giant squid came home early was to make sure I wasn't out in the front yard making those anatomically correct snow people. I wanted to... but I'm just now beginning to feel well again and I didn't want to tempt pneumonia. Maybe tomorrow.
SWAT! The hell you will!
Tsk.
Yesterday, Glory made bourbon balls and rum balls. She and Vi and I ate ALL of them and boy oh boy! We were looped! I'm not much of a drinker - a sip of wine now and then and once in a great while, kahlua on the rocks with a twist of lime. So several dozen bourbon and rum balls later... we were giggling like crazy, telling wild stories from our youth - theirs, not mine - and enjoying our alcoholic high. Vi decided we should learn how to belly dance... Glory decided we should learn how to shimmy correctly... I gathered up strings and strings of beads for us to wear and chose some belly dancing/shimmy music and we were dancing and prancing all over the living room floor - half naked cause we had to show off our bellies and we shimmied so well... some of our clothes fell off although the beads stayed on - and Cowboy and David and Max came home...
David was vastly amused and leaned against the wall to watch. Cowboy, a veteran of my many "moonlight dances" made a strong pot of coffee - not sure if that was for him or for us. Max did a critique and made suggestions, all of which were slightly lewd and made his ladies giggle. Cowboy said the breath on the three of us could knock out an entire SEAL team. Tsk - I thought that was a rude thing to say. Glory poured him a glass of peach brandy and that pretty much shut him up.
SWAT!
Tsk.
We're expecting more snow tonight and there's a good chance we'll be snowed in. Vi and Glory and Max are supposed to fly out on Wednesday - down to New Orleans to spend time with friends before heading back to Chicago - but if we can't make it to the airport, they've promised to make my snow people village. I'm sketching the scenes - Glory will make a can-can dancer. She has a bustier to fill with snow to make the correct cleavage. Vi will make "ordinary" snow people - tsk. And Max has agreed to make a few unsavory characters. That man has a wonderfully perverted sense of humor.
I went to bed early last night - wiped out from the chocolate alcoholic treats. This morning I asked Cowboy if the ladies did anything naughty after I went to bed. He rolled his eyes and said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Tsk Do you suppose he meant me?
Double Tsk.
~Sar~
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Top 'O the Morning!
Hello! Remember me? I looked over the previous posts and saw that it's been almost three months since I posted! Wow! I also saw that Cowboy has been keeping you informed of this & that and since there's no sense editing what he's written, I'll simply add that you should consider the "source" and not take everything he had to say as the gospel truth.
For instance: My hospital stay was extraordinarily uneventful. I shall endeavor to make up for this oversight in the coming year and in creative ways.
When asked - each morning - how I was feeling, I mumbled "fine," or "good enough to chow down on a bear," or some other inane response. I did not say what I was thinking... How do I feel? How the hell do you think I feel? I've got ugly tubes and needles sticking in various parts of my body. I'm a human pin cushion!
When food was finally an option... "Ooo look what's for lunch." I muttered something like, "Ummm not too hungry." Egads! I've seen road kill more appetizing looking than that swill. I ordered pizza as soon as Cowboy left the room. That's what those telephones by your bed are for.
When the docs - yes, more than one - would say "okie dokie, let's just check how you're doing and proceed to come close enough to kill... er... bite, the giant squid would say "Don't hurt him, bambina."
All I was going to do was break one little finger... or nose... or sock him... Genghis Khan never lets me have any fun. Truly, the man was toilet trained far too early in life.
Write this down: I'm a candidate for sainthood.
Life at home has had its moments. Glory is gloriously happy in my kitchen, cooking & baking. She feeds Bull who has proposed to her and that makes her giddy. I told her he proposes to all women who cook and bake. Glory says she can live with that.
Vi continues to rearrange my house to her liking. It'll be months before I find everything. She's also been working on my recipe link and has added dozens of recipes to it. Max is happy just to have us all together. He and Bull spend a lot of time at the grocery store.
Cowboy works from home as often as he can; we have spent a lot of "quality alone time." It's been satisfying but I see signs of frustration... he's not spanking at the moment, not even the occasional swat and I know he's going a little nutso about that. Of course, I'm doing my best to make him even more nutso. That's my job and I take it seriously...
David gave me a small bell to ring when I needed something. After numerous trips up and down the stairs, the squid threw the bell in the garbage. One of the cats found it and pawed it here and there over and over again. Almost lost that cat to giant squid committing cat-acide. I pictured the front page of The Navy Times - Innocent 20-lb. Feline Murdered by Giant Squid. Naturally, Cowboy didn't see any humor in this although I laughed till my sides hurt.
I'm feeling good, not as much energy as I usually have but getting stronger every day. I'm resting a lot and hope to be back in almost-full swing by the first of next month. Next month is FEBRUARY - a very special month in our house. Cowboy said if I'm good, he'll deliver hearts and flowers. Forget the hearts and flowers. GIVE ME CHOCOLATE and lots of it! As for the "good" part - tsk. I'm a saint!
I'm writing again. Just a few sentences when inspiration hits but hopefully, a new story is on the horizon. And... Thank you for all the sweet emails and of course, your healing thoughts and prayers. I don't have enough words to express my appreciation for your thoughtfulness.
~Sar~
For instance: My hospital stay was extraordinarily uneventful. I shall endeavor to make up for this oversight in the coming year and in creative ways.
When asked - each morning - how I was feeling, I mumbled "fine," or "good enough to chow down on a bear," or some other inane response. I did not say what I was thinking... How do I feel? How the hell do you think I feel? I've got ugly tubes and needles sticking in various parts of my body. I'm a human pin cushion!
When food was finally an option... "Ooo look what's for lunch." I muttered something like, "Ummm not too hungry." Egads! I've seen road kill more appetizing looking than that swill. I ordered pizza as soon as Cowboy left the room. That's what those telephones by your bed are for.
When the docs - yes, more than one - would say "okie dokie, let's just check how you're doing and proceed to come close enough to kill... er... bite, the giant squid would say "Don't hurt him, bambina."
All I was going to do was break one little finger... or nose... or sock him... Genghis Khan never lets me have any fun. Truly, the man was toilet trained far too early in life.
Write this down: I'm a candidate for sainthood.
Life at home has had its moments. Glory is gloriously happy in my kitchen, cooking & baking. She feeds Bull who has proposed to her and that makes her giddy. I told her he proposes to all women who cook and bake. Glory says she can live with that.
Vi continues to rearrange my house to her liking. It'll be months before I find everything. She's also been working on my recipe link and has added dozens of recipes to it. Max is happy just to have us all together. He and Bull spend a lot of time at the grocery store.
Cowboy works from home as often as he can; we have spent a lot of "quality alone time." It's been satisfying but I see signs of frustration... he's not spanking at the moment, not even the occasional swat and I know he's going a little nutso about that. Of course, I'm doing my best to make him even more nutso. That's my job and I take it seriously...
David gave me a small bell to ring when I needed something. After numerous trips up and down the stairs, the squid threw the bell in the garbage. One of the cats found it and pawed it here and there over and over again. Almost lost that cat to giant squid committing cat-acide. I pictured the front page of The Navy Times - Innocent 20-lb. Feline Murdered by Giant Squid. Naturally, Cowboy didn't see any humor in this although I laughed till my sides hurt.
I'm feeling good, not as much energy as I usually have but getting stronger every day. I'm resting a lot and hope to be back in almost-full swing by the first of next month. Next month is FEBRUARY - a very special month in our house. Cowboy said if I'm good, he'll deliver hearts and flowers. Forget the hearts and flowers. GIVE ME CHOCOLATE and lots of it! As for the "good" part - tsk. I'm a saint!
I'm writing again. Just a few sentences when inspiration hits but hopefully, a new story is on the horizon. And... Thank you for all the sweet emails and of course, your healing thoughts and prayers. I don't have enough words to express my appreciation for your thoughtfulness.
~Sar~
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Not quite ready for prime time
Cowboy here. My gut tells me you're tired of my ramblings and anxious to hear from the imp again. Slowly but steadily Sar's health is improving - very slowly. She has moments of energy, then deflates like a balloon rather quickly. It's going to be a while yet. On the good news front, she can stand on her own, walk a bit. Sitting works for a while then she has to change positions. Her ribs remain sore. Scanning x-rays revealed that most ribs have hairline fractures which will heal but make moving about a bit on the painful side. Surgical incision is healing so fast the doc suggested that only vampires heal that fast. Sar was mighty pleased to hear that bit of news.
On the vampire front: Don't ask.
Took the imp in for more blood tests the other day. Prior to our visit, my angel-brat poured tomato juice into several small jars, labeled them O+, O-, AB-. She presented them to the lab techs that are referred to as vampires when she's feeling favorably disposed toward them; blood suckers when she's not. There are always 2 of those guys in attendance when Sar is the patient - backup so to speak. Sar lays the jars out on the counter. The techs don't hesitate to grab them and drink them down. One comments he prefers a bit of vodka in his; the other mentions the lack of a celery stick. Sar can't hide her laughter. Just hearing her laugh made my day. For the first time in our married life, I don't have to hold her down while they draw blood. I treated her to a banana split even though it was only mid morning. The bananas get dumped onto my plate, then the imp helps herself to my ice cream between bites of her own. That's my gal.
Getting a bit of email from some of you. Appreciate the words of support and kind thoughts. Neither of us can answer all of you in a timely manner. Responding to some of your queries, Sar is writing again. It's a slow process but apparently there are dozens of characters clamoring for attention in her head. She attributes this to a side effect of the meds. Regardless, a brief summary of some of these tales read very well. I'm as anxious as any of you to read them. One, in particular, is a lengthy story, on the diabolical side even for mia bambina. I actually feel sorry for the guy and went so far as to ask whether the poor sap was modeled after anyone we know. I didn't get an answer.
Glory, Max and Vi are still with us. They plan to head south in another week or so. Glory found a basset hound pup wandering around a parking lot; brought the cute fella home. I informed her if the newspaper ad didn't bring the owner to our door, the pup goes south too. Sar didn't object; a note has already been penned to Santa asking for Christmas puppies. Her pups are getting on in years. I suspect she wants to start training new ones before they retire. We'll see.
I give you my word my wife will be posting here in the immediate future. Thanks for your patience.
Cowboy
On the vampire front: Don't ask.
Took the imp in for more blood tests the other day. Prior to our visit, my angel-brat poured tomato juice into several small jars, labeled them O+, O-, AB-. She presented them to the lab techs that are referred to as vampires when she's feeling favorably disposed toward them; blood suckers when she's not. There are always 2 of those guys in attendance when Sar is the patient - backup so to speak. Sar lays the jars out on the counter. The techs don't hesitate to grab them and drink them down. One comments he prefers a bit of vodka in his; the other mentions the lack of a celery stick. Sar can't hide her laughter. Just hearing her laugh made my day. For the first time in our married life, I don't have to hold her down while they draw blood. I treated her to a banana split even though it was only mid morning. The bananas get dumped onto my plate, then the imp helps herself to my ice cream between bites of her own. That's my gal.
Getting a bit of email from some of you. Appreciate the words of support and kind thoughts. Neither of us can answer all of you in a timely manner. Responding to some of your queries, Sar is writing again. It's a slow process but apparently there are dozens of characters clamoring for attention in her head. She attributes this to a side effect of the meds. Regardless, a brief summary of some of these tales read very well. I'm as anxious as any of you to read them. One, in particular, is a lengthy story, on the diabolical side even for mia bambina. I actually feel sorry for the guy and went so far as to ask whether the poor sap was modeled after anyone we know. I didn't get an answer.
Glory, Max and Vi are still with us. They plan to head south in another week or so. Glory found a basset hound pup wandering around a parking lot; brought the cute fella home. I informed her if the newspaper ad didn't bring the owner to our door, the pup goes south too. Sar didn't object; a note has already been penned to Santa asking for Christmas puppies. Her pups are getting on in years. I suspect she wants to start training new ones before they retire. We'll see.
I give you my word my wife will be posting here in the immediate future. Thanks for your patience.
Cowboy
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