My oldest and dearest friend, Alli, is visiting from Chicago. When we were knee high to a grasshopper, we used to get into a lot of mischief. Just because we're taller now doesn't mean we have to forego any fun.
We've been having a wonderful time redecorating David's house... So far, we've rearranged his closets, his drawers, his toiletries and alphabetized all the books in his library... according to publisher... sub-alphabetized to year of publication. I'm sure he's tired of searching by title or author or subject matter. We've also painted his guestroom PINK and just before the paint was completely dry, Alli sprayed all the walls with gold sprinkles. We bought some extra-large lady's lingerie and hung the gauzy frilly lacy things in that closet as well.
Naturally, this was all done while Cowboy was at work or out of the house doing errands. I was worried he would smell the fresh paint but the open windows helped a lot. When David yells at Cowboy to yell at me, I'll blame it on Alli. She'll be back in Chicago by then. Yes, I am evil.
The following is from Theresa at Hungry Heart Anxious Bottom: A meme that has been making the rounds. It's shown up on a few other blogs as well. The idea is to copy and paste to your own blog and bold the things you have done. If you don't "blog," share it with your friends.
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive - what an excellent idea!
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said I love you and meant it
09. Hugged a tree - trees are our friends
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night to see the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game - yes, but just to eat junk food
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables - lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, leeks, potatoes - nothing ugly
18. Touched an iceburg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Got drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity.
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Has an uncontrollable giggle spasm at the worst time
27. Had a food fight - no chocolate was wasted, only pasta
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - didn't do any good; he spanked me anyway
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Rode a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run - nobody in their right mind lets me near a bat!
36. Danced like a fool and didn't care who saw
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day - Marlena Dietrich
38. Actually felt happy about your life even if for only a moment - actually always
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states ( all but 2)
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk - I associate with sailors
42. Have amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heart broken longer that you were actually in love
53. In a resturant sat at a stranger's table and had an entire meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow - the cow was not happy about this
56. Alphabetized your CD’s
57. Pretended to be a superhero - Pretend? I AM a superhero!
58. Sung karaoke - yes and we can never go back to that supper club
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain (and snow)
65. Gone to a drive in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Got married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Got divorced
76. Gone without food for five days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Rode a gondola in Venice
80. Got a tattoo - it was a fake one but he spanked me anyway
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Received flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on a first date - no, I made him wait until he bought dinner a few times first
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone - does being in his line of fire count?
92. Buried one or both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently - I know a lot of naughty Italian words
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour - I tried... but the MPs picked me up and took me home
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to start over - too many times
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car and did not stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over a 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone - almost every one
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Rode a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents - there are 7?
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten Sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Para-sailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts - an Altar - when I plugged it in, the electricity went out in the entire neighborhood!
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair - shampoo in/wash out - got spanked - man has no sense of humor; I thought purple was a good shade for my complexion
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
And last, I've been informed it's baseball season. Some time ago - Feb, 2006 I think - I explained the rules of football to you. As soon as I get a chance, I'll explain the rules of baseball. Baseball is actually far more violent than football - at least when I play...
~Sar~
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Next Holiday...
I believe it's safe to say that you know I love holidays. Actually, I mostly love holiday food - I think you knew that, too - although some of the customs and cultures are lovely and meaningful and some are downright fun. Next week is Sukkos. Sukkos is a celebration of the harvest and also of the Tabernacles. I stick to the harvest part.
When we're home Cowboy builds an extension in front and back of the wooden canopy he built for my roses. It's a temporary affair but it does the trick. I hang long wide ribbons and at the end of each ribbon, I tie something good to eat - candied apples, plums, peaches (guess who eats those) and dates, fresh figs, clusters of grapes and the occasional eggplant just to see who's paying attention...
I used to hang vegetables but the kids invited to the party are pretty smart and always ignored those. I also hang candy - all kinds - though chocolate is at a minimum, unless it's dark chocolate which I'm not that crazy about. I also hang "little" toys - miniature racing cars, troll dolls, yo-yos, slinkies, Spalding balls, spinning tops, jacks, slingshots, water guns, marbles, etc.
I love shopping for these in "five & dime" stores and occasionally, spot them at a garage sale and gobble them up for future use. Most kids today have electronic gadgets and ironically, get excited about the old fashioned ones I grew up knowing.
Out here, on the beach, I invited the neighborhood families to come over for the holiday celebration. Bull is building a canopy for me right on the beachfront. I'm expecting a huge crowd and Cowboy said he'd invite a few off-duty squids to keep a campfire going, roast hot dogs and marshmallows and maintain order. Maintain order? Who is going to get rowdy? Okay, no need to reply to that.
"Don't hang water guns or slingshots, bambina."
Oops. Too late.
"You worried we're going to hurt someone with those?"
"YOU're going to pay for it if anyone gets hurts," Mr. Grumpy said and gave me a swat!
Tsk.
Actually... I used the giant squid's credit card to buy everything, including the water guns and slingshots but I think he might be thinking of making me pay in other ways. Did I mention this man often lacks couth?
The pups are very excited. Kids will jump up and down and run and laugh and they're very attracted to that kind of excitement. I just have to make sure they're thoroughly fed before the party begins.
Note to self. Feed Bull before the crowd shows up...
Speaking of Bull...
He's leaving in a few days to go visit his mama and sisters down in Arkansas. I asked if he warned her he was coming so they could set up temporary quarters in the local supermarket.
SWAT!
"Stop making fun of Bull's appetite."
"He's currently eating *your* peach cobbler."
"What? Bull! Front and center!"
Smiling...
~Sar~
When we're home Cowboy builds an extension in front and back of the wooden canopy he built for my roses. It's a temporary affair but it does the trick. I hang long wide ribbons and at the end of each ribbon, I tie something good to eat - candied apples, plums, peaches (guess who eats those) and dates, fresh figs, clusters of grapes and the occasional eggplant just to see who's paying attention...
I used to hang vegetables but the kids invited to the party are pretty smart and always ignored those. I also hang candy - all kinds - though chocolate is at a minimum, unless it's dark chocolate which I'm not that crazy about. I also hang "little" toys - miniature racing cars, troll dolls, yo-yos, slinkies, Spalding balls, spinning tops, jacks, slingshots, water guns, marbles, etc.
I love shopping for these in "five & dime" stores and occasionally, spot them at a garage sale and gobble them up for future use. Most kids today have electronic gadgets and ironically, get excited about the old fashioned ones I grew up knowing.
Out here, on the beach, I invited the neighborhood families to come over for the holiday celebration. Bull is building a canopy for me right on the beachfront. I'm expecting a huge crowd and Cowboy said he'd invite a few off-duty squids to keep a campfire going, roast hot dogs and marshmallows and maintain order. Maintain order? Who is going to get rowdy? Okay, no need to reply to that.
"Don't hang water guns or slingshots, bambina."
Oops. Too late.
"You worried we're going to hurt someone with those?"
"YOU're going to pay for it if anyone gets hurts," Mr. Grumpy said and gave me a swat!
Tsk.
Actually... I used the giant squid's credit card to buy everything, including the water guns and slingshots but I think he might be thinking of making me pay in other ways. Did I mention this man often lacks couth?
The pups are very excited. Kids will jump up and down and run and laugh and they're very attracted to that kind of excitement. I just have to make sure they're thoroughly fed before the party begins.
Note to self. Feed Bull before the crowd shows up...
Speaking of Bull...
He's leaving in a few days to go visit his mama and sisters down in Arkansas. I asked if he warned her he was coming so they could set up temporary quarters in the local supermarket.
SWAT!
"Stop making fun of Bull's appetite."
"He's currently eating *your* peach cobbler."
"What? Bull! Front and center!"
Smiling...
~Sar~
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Happy New Year!
We're back on the beach again - out at David's house. His housekeeper is away visiting family and since he's still in the Solomon Islands on temporary duty, we're house sitting for a while. The upside is that we've got the entire menagerie with us and the weather is great for jogging along the water. We also get to enjoy David's tortoise while we're here. The downside is that the giant squid turns into Mr. Grumpy when he has to go to work when we're on the beach. He'd rather be home. I'd rather he was home, too. But we still have evenings and weekends to be naughty.
I love New Year celebrations - no matter whose New Year it is. There are several we celebrate during the year - all with great food of course. This past week we had a fairly large crowd over for dinner. We celebrated Rosh Hashana - the Jewish New Year and also the beginning of Ramadan - the holiest month of Islam. It was a wondrous affair!
We had spicy falafel and brown rice and stuffed grape leaves along with a succulent brisket and garlic mashed potatoes and tzimmes. Tzimmes is a sweet carrot dish made with apricots and pineapple. I made sweet noodle kugel, honey cake and a confection made out of walnuts, pistachios and honey. The honey symbolizes the hope for a sweet year. The dessert table also included a variety of fruits with a honey dip and one of my favorite treats - fresh dates and of course, chocolates.
I ate a LOT.
Cowboy ate more than I did.
The sailors and marines in attendance ate more than Cowboy ate.
Bull ate more than anybody else...
When dinner was over and most of our guests left, Cowboy told me to put my feet up and he and Bull and a couple of Bull's friends would clean up. In the process of cleaning, Bull ATE all the leftovers. The pups started whining because Bull isn't big on sharing food with them and he ate what they usually get when a meal is finished.
Tsk.
Speaking of Bull... he asked if he could invite three of his lady friends to dinner.
"Bimbos?"
SWAT!
Tsk. I forgot Cowboy was in the room at the time.
So the three bimbos show up. Truly I can't recall their names but I refer to them as Batty, Brownie and Blackie. All three are gorgeous creatures but unfortunately, it takes all three of them to come up with a 2-digit IQ.
Batty is a blonde with big blue eyes and implants... She kept batting her eyelashes at everyone wearing long pants and I kept waiting for one of those eyelashes to fall into the soup.
Brownie is a sweet little gal with long brown hair, green eyes and the gaze of a star-struck cutie pie who realized that as a female, she was in the minority at the dinner table. She kept taking inventory of all the testosterone in the room and I swear she was mumbling... "So many men - only own two thighs to spread... so little time."
I whispered my thoughts to Cowboy and he had the gall to smack my butt when he passed me in the kitchen!
Tsk.
SWAT!
Double tsk.
Blackie is a beautiful brunette who had to TOUCH every male at the dinner table, including my husband. She went around the table several times and asked everyone if they needed anything she could get for them. I quietly asked her to sit down and enjoy the meal, that it wasn't necessary for her to hostess. She turned to me with her big brown eyes and smiled and said... "Who are you?"
Before I could reply... "I'm your hostess, you moron!" Er... I mean before I could voice the most civil response... the giant squid sounded a warning - sotto voce - "Sar..."
Bull recognized the "Sar..." and chuckled. This led to others chuckling... I smiled at the giant squid and continued serving the meal. Not only do I need to jot this "goodness" down in my quarterly letter to Santa... this is definitely an event that needs recording when I'm up for sainthood.
I finally took Blackie's arm and escorted her to her seat. The long sleeves of her dress probably hid the bruise my fingers must have made. I stopped short of shoving her chair under the table. She needed spanked!
Cowboy gave me "that look."
I ignored him and barely resisted spilling something awful on her head.
However...
I DID put the platters of green uglies in front of her and I hid the chocolate.
Cowboy invited one of his subordinates... a female who has an obvious crush on the giant squid and rarely takes her eyes off of him. I seated her between two grizzly bear-sized marines. They called her "ma'am" all evening. This did not make her happy but I got a couple of good chuckles out of it.
Unfortunately, I also got a few swats when we were alone.
Tsk. See how he repays my kindness? Just for that, I'm making PLUM cobbler.
Moving along... there was a segment on one of the local news channels. It showed an adult male chimpanzee offering a whole papaya to a cute female chimp. He even breaks it up into chunks for her to eat. Then... after she eats it, he tries to mount her. Tsk, bribing the sweet innocent for sex!
Just like a man... bringing gifts in exchange for hanky panky.
SWAT!
"Do I bring gifts just for sex?" the man I live with asked.
"No. You don't always bring gifts..."
SWAT!
Tsk. The man needs to bring MORE gifts.
~Sar~
I love New Year celebrations - no matter whose New Year it is. There are several we celebrate during the year - all with great food of course. This past week we had a fairly large crowd over for dinner. We celebrated Rosh Hashana - the Jewish New Year and also the beginning of Ramadan - the holiest month of Islam. It was a wondrous affair!
We had spicy falafel and brown rice and stuffed grape leaves along with a succulent brisket and garlic mashed potatoes and tzimmes. Tzimmes is a sweet carrot dish made with apricots and pineapple. I made sweet noodle kugel, honey cake and a confection made out of walnuts, pistachios and honey. The honey symbolizes the hope for a sweet year. The dessert table also included a variety of fruits with a honey dip and one of my favorite treats - fresh dates and of course, chocolates.
I ate a LOT.
Cowboy ate more than I did.
The sailors and marines in attendance ate more than Cowboy ate.
Bull ate more than anybody else...
When dinner was over and most of our guests left, Cowboy told me to put my feet up and he and Bull and a couple of Bull's friends would clean up. In the process of cleaning, Bull ATE all the leftovers. The pups started whining because Bull isn't big on sharing food with them and he ate what they usually get when a meal is finished.
Tsk.
Speaking of Bull... he asked if he could invite three of his lady friends to dinner.
"Bimbos?"
SWAT!
Tsk. I forgot Cowboy was in the room at the time.
So the three bimbos show up. Truly I can't recall their names but I refer to them as Batty, Brownie and Blackie. All three are gorgeous creatures but unfortunately, it takes all three of them to come up with a 2-digit IQ.
Batty is a blonde with big blue eyes and implants... She kept batting her eyelashes at everyone wearing long pants and I kept waiting for one of those eyelashes to fall into the soup.
Brownie is a sweet little gal with long brown hair, green eyes and the gaze of a star-struck cutie pie who realized that as a female, she was in the minority at the dinner table. She kept taking inventory of all the testosterone in the room and I swear she was mumbling... "So many men - only own two thighs to spread... so little time."
I whispered my thoughts to Cowboy and he had the gall to smack my butt when he passed me in the kitchen!
Tsk.
SWAT!
Double tsk.
Blackie is a beautiful brunette who had to TOUCH every male at the dinner table, including my husband. She went around the table several times and asked everyone if they needed anything she could get for them. I quietly asked her to sit down and enjoy the meal, that it wasn't necessary for her to hostess. She turned to me with her big brown eyes and smiled and said... "Who are you?"
Before I could reply... "I'm your hostess, you moron!" Er... I mean before I could voice the most civil response... the giant squid sounded a warning - sotto voce - "Sar..."
Bull recognized the "Sar..." and chuckled. This led to others chuckling... I smiled at the giant squid and continued serving the meal. Not only do I need to jot this "goodness" down in my quarterly letter to Santa... this is definitely an event that needs recording when I'm up for sainthood.
I finally took Blackie's arm and escorted her to her seat. The long sleeves of her dress probably hid the bruise my fingers must have made. I stopped short of shoving her chair under the table. She needed spanked!
Cowboy gave me "that look."
I ignored him and barely resisted spilling something awful on her head.
However...
I DID put the platters of green uglies in front of her and I hid the chocolate.
Cowboy invited one of his subordinates... a female who has an obvious crush on the giant squid and rarely takes her eyes off of him. I seated her between two grizzly bear-sized marines. They called her "ma'am" all evening. This did not make her happy but I got a couple of good chuckles out of it.
Unfortunately, I also got a few swats when we were alone.
Tsk. See how he repays my kindness? Just for that, I'm making PLUM cobbler.
Moving along... there was a segment on one of the local news channels. It showed an adult male chimpanzee offering a whole papaya to a cute female chimp. He even breaks it up into chunks for her to eat. Then... after she eats it, he tries to mount her. Tsk, bribing the sweet innocent for sex!
Just like a man... bringing gifts in exchange for hanky panky.
SWAT!
"Do I bring gifts just for sex?" the man I live with asked.
"No. You don't always bring gifts..."
SWAT!
Tsk. The man needs to bring MORE gifts.
~Sar~
Friday, September 07, 2007
The Sky is Falling!
No ice cream! No hidden chocolate stashes! NO Twinkies! No Mac & Cheese! Both my freezers and my double-wide refrigerator were empty when we got home from our trip. The pantry had little to offer - even the emergency food supplies were gone. I raised an eyebrow in Bull's direction and the behemoth said:
"I was hungry."
Welllllll.... duh!
and...
"Are you gonna be cookin somethin soon?"
Smiling... clenching my fists... grinding my teeth... then I remembered I love the giant hayseed.
Cowboy ordered pizzas for supper and the next morning, he went out and brought home "breakfast food." Spent half a day food shopping and ordered a cow. Usually I order half a cow; decided I needed a whole one as long as Bull is with us.
"We're gonna eat Bessie?" Bull teased when the meat order came in later.
"I don't need to know his name."
"You mean *her* name, Sar. Cows are female."
Good God! Could have gone on with life without being reminded of that little detail.
"Goin to do a little shopping myself," Bull stated. "Hungry and there's nothing to eat in the house and it'll be a while before you get anything good on the table."
Smiling... clenching my fists... grinding my teeth... remembering I love this hayseed a lot even though he ate EVERYTHING in my house. Counted the animals to make sure they were all accounted for.
So... while I caught up on the laundry, straightened the house, and caught up with the pups, Bull went shopping.
He came home with frozen ready-to-eat meals that he nuked and ate... and told me he bought me some treats:
Double stuffed Oreos! Regular, chocolate creme, peanut
Butter and Oreo Cakesters - 2 packages each. So I unpack the grocery bags - a package of Cakesters, 1 package of peanut butter Oreos.
"Where's the rest?"
"I ate them on the way home."
Ask a stupid question; get a stupid answer.
Currently, Manhattan clam chowder and Minestrone are cooking, will make other soups another time. Pot roast and a brisket in one oven, two apple cakes in the other. Will bake pies and cobbler tonight. In no time I'll restock the freezers, etc. Cowboy replenished the emergency food supplies. I think the food bill was as much as our roundtrip airfare on our recent trip.
David is still in the Solomon Islands assisting with their tsunami recovery from last May. He asked us to peek in on his house in the San Juans - his housekeeper will be away for a week or so. We may go out there and stay for a few days. Cowboy can go to work from there and I'll have the house to myself... the pups and I are certain to find something to keep us busy... David's housekeeper says the tortoise is on a vegetable kick. Ick! I have to reintroduce the beast to Twinkies.
A cute survey showed up on a couple of blogs I read - PK, Cassie and others. My answers:
1. What was the first blog that you regularly read?
-Found Creative Spanked Wife first. Also The Collar Purple. What an eye opener!
2. Do you remember the first" blogger" that you had an E-Mail Relationship with?
-Don't have an email relationship with other bloggers but regularly correspond with a few readers.
3. Why did you create your blog?
-It started because quite a few readers of my story website frequently wrote asking questions about my life with Cowboy. Also several email buddies would say "that's a snippet" when I related something to them. Some of those "snippets" weren't really an entire story but interesting enough to use in a blog.
4. When was your first post, and who was your first commenter?
-9/28/05 - first comments came from Terri, Paul, Spoze and BJ
5. Are there blogs that you absolutely have to visit daily?
-Yes, when I have time, and they're listed in my links.
6. Is your Blog categorized?..(I.E. Comedy, Literary, Personal Angst, Etc.)
-Officially, it's an *adult* blog and deals with life in general which includes spanking and sex.
7. Do you see an end to your blogging some day?
-Probably but as long as folks comment and/or email me, I'll continue to blog.
8. What are you wearing right this very minute?
- Wellll since Cassie has my black corset and red fishnet stockings... or was it red corset and black fishnet stockings... and PK has my spare outfit... I'm stuck wearing one of Cowboy's T-shirts and jeans. I'd take off the jeans but Bull is in the house. Tsk.
Cowboy called to see if I had eaten anything today.
"Uh huh."
"Was it real food or junk food?"
Rollin m'eyes.
"I'll have you know I ate scrambled eggs and toast and even drank a can of V8!"
"V8?" You feel okay, bambina?"
Not really. That stuff is vile.
"Of course I'm okay. Bring home Chinese for supper, please."
"You been cooking all day?"
"Uh huh."
"Peach cobbler?"
The man has a 1-track mind. Well, 2-tracks: spanking and peach cobbler.
Make that 3-tracks: spanking, sex and peach cobbler.
Going to send Bull on errands, make some peach cobbler and put on my "spank me sweetly" t-shirt.
~Sar~
"I was hungry."
Welllllll.... duh!
and...
"Are you gonna be cookin somethin soon?"
Smiling... clenching my fists... grinding my teeth... then I remembered I love the giant hayseed.
Cowboy ordered pizzas for supper and the next morning, he went out and brought home "breakfast food." Spent half a day food shopping and ordered a cow. Usually I order half a cow; decided I needed a whole one as long as Bull is with us.
"We're gonna eat Bessie?" Bull teased when the meat order came in later.
"I don't need to know his name."
"You mean *her* name, Sar. Cows are female."
Good God! Could have gone on with life without being reminded of that little detail.
"Goin to do a little shopping myself," Bull stated. "Hungry and there's nothing to eat in the house and it'll be a while before you get anything good on the table."
Smiling... clenching my fists... grinding my teeth... remembering I love this hayseed a lot even though he ate EVERYTHING in my house. Counted the animals to make sure they were all accounted for.
So... while I caught up on the laundry, straightened the house, and caught up with the pups, Bull went shopping.
He came home with frozen ready-to-eat meals that he nuked and ate... and told me he bought me some treats:
Double stuffed Oreos! Regular, chocolate creme, peanut
Butter and Oreo Cakesters - 2 packages each. So I unpack the grocery bags - a package of Cakesters, 1 package of peanut butter Oreos.
"Where's the rest?"
"I ate them on the way home."
Ask a stupid question; get a stupid answer.
Currently, Manhattan clam chowder and Minestrone are cooking, will make other soups another time. Pot roast and a brisket in one oven, two apple cakes in the other. Will bake pies and cobbler tonight. In no time I'll restock the freezers, etc. Cowboy replenished the emergency food supplies. I think the food bill was as much as our roundtrip airfare on our recent trip.
David is still in the Solomon Islands assisting with their tsunami recovery from last May. He asked us to peek in on his house in the San Juans - his housekeeper will be away for a week or so. We may go out there and stay for a few days. Cowboy can go to work from there and I'll have the house to myself... the pups and I are certain to find something to keep us busy... David's housekeeper says the tortoise is on a vegetable kick. Ick! I have to reintroduce the beast to Twinkies.
A cute survey showed up on a couple of blogs I read - PK, Cassie and others. My answers:
1. What was the first blog that you regularly read?
-Found Creative Spanked Wife first. Also The Collar Purple. What an eye opener!
2. Do you remember the first" blogger" that you had an E-Mail Relationship with?
-Don't have an email relationship with other bloggers but regularly correspond with a few readers.
3. Why did you create your blog?
-It started because quite a few readers of my story website frequently wrote asking questions about my life with Cowboy. Also several email buddies would say "that's a snippet" when I related something to them. Some of those "snippets" weren't really an entire story but interesting enough to use in a blog.
4. When was your first post, and who was your first commenter?
-9/28/05 - first comments came from Terri, Paul, Spoze and BJ
5. Are there blogs that you absolutely have to visit daily?
-Yes, when I have time, and they're listed in my links.
6. Is your Blog categorized?..(I.E. Comedy, Literary, Personal Angst, Etc.)
-Officially, it's an *adult* blog and deals with life in general which includes spanking and sex.
7. Do you see an end to your blogging some day?
-Probably but as long as folks comment and/or email me, I'll continue to blog.
8. What are you wearing right this very minute?
- Wellll since Cassie has my black corset and red fishnet stockings... or was it red corset and black fishnet stockings... and PK has my spare outfit... I'm stuck wearing one of Cowboy's T-shirts and jeans. I'd take off the jeans but Bull is in the house. Tsk.
Cowboy called to see if I had eaten anything today.
"Uh huh."
"Was it real food or junk food?"
Rollin m'eyes.
"I'll have you know I ate scrambled eggs and toast and even drank a can of V8!"
"V8?" You feel okay, bambina?"
Not really. That stuff is vile.
"Of course I'm okay. Bring home Chinese for supper, please."
"You been cooking all day?"
"Uh huh."
"Peach cobbler?"
The man has a 1-track mind. Well, 2-tracks: spanking and peach cobbler.
Make that 3-tracks: spanking, sex and peach cobbler.
Going to send Bull on errands, make some peach cobbler and put on my "spank me sweetly" t-shirt.
~Sar~
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Almost Home
We're in Hawaii, our last stop before heading home. Cowboy and I have enjoyed every minute of our time alone but I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. He spent an entire year planning this trip - celebrating our 25th anniversary and my birthday. I think he also spent the entire year "resting up" for our celebration.
SWAT!
Laughing softly... but I assure you, it was worth it.
Before he decides to spill any beans... I want you to know I was perfectly well mannered and an angel the whole time we've been away. It almost killed me!
I see he did mention one or two incidents of nudity. Welllll, what's a little nudity on holiday? There was a full moon + a beautiful beach + a little wine. He had to know I couldn't resist. And he wasn't exactly immune either - he took pictures to bribe me with later.
Ohhhhhh puleeeeeeze. That's not going to work but the pics I took of him... I'll bet that will work very well for anything I might need ammunition for. I wonder how much The Navy Times would pay for those pics... hmmm
SWAT!
The burning question... were there any spankings while on vacation? What do YOU think?
Tsk.
Called home regularly. Had Bull put me on speakerphone so the pups could hear my voice. Both whined something awful each time I called. Not sure if it's because they miss me or the fact that Bull didn't share any wine or beer with them. He said I needed to get home soon - not much in the way of food left. The behemoth ate EVERYTHING in both freezers and the only thing left in the pantry is flour and sugar and a few other baking supplies. I hope he didn't eat any of the dog food...
Picked up a New York Times newspaper here - galoshes are the newest fashion trend. They showed pictures of them in all colors and plaids and polka dots and stripes and even op art. It rains where we live... I might have to get a chartreuse pair.
"Get red ones, bambina," the giant squid chuckled. "Then when you're out in the rain where you're NOT SUPPOSED TO BE, I'll match the color of your tush to the galoshes."
Rethinking this purchase...
There was an article about how to improve our lives... 101 things to do before you're 40. Oops. Maybe before I'm 50.
And... 1001 books everyone should read before they die. I was exhausted just reading the list - gave up after 200.
Good news category: I have gained six pounds! I know that makes a few of you roll your eyes but for me, it's really a big deal. I have a super high metabolic rate and am on maximum thyroid dosage to control it but I still burn calories like crazy. I mentioned that spanking burns a lot of calories... and maybe it's something that should only be done sweetly and gently...
Did you hear him laugh? Most of Polynesia did. Tsk and double tsk.
More good news: Was able to acquire a LOT of really fine chocolate. Filled Cowboy's duffel with most of it. I told him we needed to purchase another bag for our things because we ran out of room for everything. He told me to eat some chocolate... LOL! I ended up shipping it home, the chocolate - not our clothes.
...And last, it's September, the countdown to the holiday season begins. In just a few weeks the leaves will put on a spectacular show in our backyard and everywhere else leaves turn. The pups and I will roll in the piles someone will rake. I'll try out my new recipes - mostly pies and tarts for this year's festivities.
The first holiday is just around the corner - Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. The food for that holiday will be extra spectacular this year. I've made a list of who is invited and most will be the fine young men from Bull's Marine unit as well as a few Navy SEALS Cowboy wants to include. I'll have to make a lot of food to feed that crowd and I'm really looking forward to it.
Okay, just a couple more days to enjoy the beach and then back to home base. Will post another update after we get back.
~Sar~
SWAT!
Laughing softly... but I assure you, it was worth it.
Before he decides to spill any beans... I want you to know I was perfectly well mannered and an angel the whole time we've been away. It almost killed me!
I see he did mention one or two incidents of nudity. Welllll, what's a little nudity on holiday? There was a full moon + a beautiful beach + a little wine. He had to know I couldn't resist. And he wasn't exactly immune either - he took pictures to bribe me with later.
Ohhhhhh puleeeeeeze. That's not going to work but the pics I took of him... I'll bet that will work very well for anything I might need ammunition for. I wonder how much The Navy Times would pay for those pics... hmmm
SWAT!
The burning question... were there any spankings while on vacation? What do YOU think?
Tsk.
Called home regularly. Had Bull put me on speakerphone so the pups could hear my voice. Both whined something awful each time I called. Not sure if it's because they miss me or the fact that Bull didn't share any wine or beer with them. He said I needed to get home soon - not much in the way of food left. The behemoth ate EVERYTHING in both freezers and the only thing left in the pantry is flour and sugar and a few other baking supplies. I hope he didn't eat any of the dog food...
Picked up a New York Times newspaper here - galoshes are the newest fashion trend. They showed pictures of them in all colors and plaids and polka dots and stripes and even op art. It rains where we live... I might have to get a chartreuse pair.
"Get red ones, bambina," the giant squid chuckled. "Then when you're out in the rain where you're NOT SUPPOSED TO BE, I'll match the color of your tush to the galoshes."
Rethinking this purchase...
There was an article about how to improve our lives... 101 things to do before you're 40. Oops. Maybe before I'm 50.
And... 1001 books everyone should read before they die. I was exhausted just reading the list - gave up after 200.
Good news category: I have gained six pounds! I know that makes a few of you roll your eyes but for me, it's really a big deal. I have a super high metabolic rate and am on maximum thyroid dosage to control it but I still burn calories like crazy. I mentioned that spanking burns a lot of calories... and maybe it's something that should only be done sweetly and gently...
Did you hear him laugh? Most of Polynesia did. Tsk and double tsk.
More good news: Was able to acquire a LOT of really fine chocolate. Filled Cowboy's duffel with most of it. I told him we needed to purchase another bag for our things because we ran out of room for everything. He told me to eat some chocolate... LOL! I ended up shipping it home, the chocolate - not our clothes.
...And last, it's September, the countdown to the holiday season begins. In just a few weeks the leaves will put on a spectacular show in our backyard and everywhere else leaves turn. The pups and I will roll in the piles someone will rake. I'll try out my new recipes - mostly pies and tarts for this year's festivities.
The first holiday is just around the corner - Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. The food for that holiday will be extra spectacular this year. I've made a list of who is invited and most will be the fine young men from Bull's Marine unit as well as a few Navy SEALS Cowboy wants to include. I'll have to make a lot of food to feed that crowd and I'm really looking forward to it.
Okay, just a couple more days to enjoy the beach and then back to home base. Will post another update after we get back.
~Sar~
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Like Royalty...
I feel like royalty. We've been on holiday on Bora Bora, a magnificently beautiful place. Yesterday we flew to Tahiti - not too far from Bora Bora and also in French Polynesia. We're in Papeete, the capital city of Tahiti and it's as beautiful as Bora Bora. There's beaches and village shopping and I'm not sure what else yet. I'm both wired and tired from all the holiday activities and the giant squid didn't even have to threaten me with his big paws to take a nap.
I'm currently napping...
I have limited internet access but wanted to let you know all is well. On Bora Bora we had a lot of "couple" time which was glorious. We ate LARGE and often. Some European big-busted bimbo honeymooning with her "daddy" sat at our breakfast table in the hotel a few mornings in a row. She commented that I seem to have a hearty appetite.
"How many meals a day can she eat like that?" Bimbala asked the giant squid simultaneously batting her eyelashes. (I was waiting for one of them to fall in her cereal bowl. If it did, I was going to yell SPIDER and start a riot!)
"She only eats one meal a day," Cowboy answered. "It starts shortly after she wakes up and usually ends when she goes to bed. Sometimes she gets up for a snack in the middle of the night."
There was sudden silence at our table.
Not sure if it's because bimbala was stunned or the fact that I reached over and stuffed a large Danish in the squid's mouth.
Ahh well... He wants me to gain weight and I did put on a few pounds. It seems all of the food establishments we frequented for breakfast had these fresh baked CHOCOLATE donuts with CHOCOLATE icing and stuffed with CHOCOLATE cream. I ate a lot of those before tackling eggs, pancakes and whatever. And... they had CHICORY coffee. Sheer heaven!
French food and Polynesian food - FABULOUS! I pigged out! 'Twas glorious! You could order from the menu or enjoy the continuous buffets!
Cowboy wanted to make sure others got to the buffet before I did. He wanted to be sure there'd be enough food for everyone else and he also said it was embarrassing to hold two extra plates for me but I assured him I could come back and have seconds, etc.
"Only seconds?"
Tsk.
"It's not like I eat like a marine," I reminded him.
"Not just one marine, bambina. More like a entire unit."
Double tsk.
Other than eating... we shopped. Bought great island hats, several sarongs and admired the wonderful island art in quite a few galleries. Interesting sarongs... some cover you from the breasts down, others from the waist and a few only from the hips. Naturally I wanted to know if natives went topless... it seems the waist and hip sarongs were meant for men... tsk. Bought a couple of "hip" ones for me for our private times. Bought one for Cowboy too. That should be interesting to see.
Beach time: Ohhhhhhh my. Very very nice. The squid got a lot of exercise chasing me... mostly at night. He has this annoying problem about my naked dancing but that might be partly his Cornwall-ish ancestry on his father's side. When his Italian mother was still with us, she assured me Cowboy's father was constantly chasing her too. See - it runs in the family.
Then there were the supper clubs and dancing. We did a lot of that. And because we're such a shy couple... we did a few impromptu tangos. A couple of those got the squid hot and bothered...
SWAT!
... so I made sure to repeat all those tango steps when we got back to our room.
I see the squid has been busy making changes to the blog, some nice, others I have to think about. But he DID add the "moon phases" pic on the right side. I thanked him for letting me know when the moon is full because he knows I adore dancing naked under it. He said...
"That's to let me know when to expect you to try to sneak out of the house, imp. A few days before and after - I'll be warming that tush of yours."
Tsk. I shouldn't have thanked him so quickly.
SWAT!
Double tsk.
I know some of you have sent email - my inbox is brimming. I'm not ignoring you. Because of the limited internet access while we're away, I haven't had a chance to read much of my email. We'll be routing home sometime next week - via Hawaii. I'll have more time then to get to it and reply; the rest will have to wait till we're home.
~Sar~
I'm currently napping...
I have limited internet access but wanted to let you know all is well. On Bora Bora we had a lot of "couple" time which was glorious. We ate LARGE and often. Some European big-busted bimbo honeymooning with her "daddy" sat at our breakfast table in the hotel a few mornings in a row. She commented that I seem to have a hearty appetite.
"How many meals a day can she eat like that?" Bimbala asked the giant squid simultaneously batting her eyelashes. (I was waiting for one of them to fall in her cereal bowl. If it did, I was going to yell SPIDER and start a riot!)
"She only eats one meal a day," Cowboy answered. "It starts shortly after she wakes up and usually ends when she goes to bed. Sometimes she gets up for a snack in the middle of the night."
There was sudden silence at our table.
Not sure if it's because bimbala was stunned or the fact that I reached over and stuffed a large Danish in the squid's mouth.
Ahh well... He wants me to gain weight and I did put on a few pounds. It seems all of the food establishments we frequented for breakfast had these fresh baked CHOCOLATE donuts with CHOCOLATE icing and stuffed with CHOCOLATE cream. I ate a lot of those before tackling eggs, pancakes and whatever. And... they had CHICORY coffee. Sheer heaven!
French food and Polynesian food - FABULOUS! I pigged out! 'Twas glorious! You could order from the menu or enjoy the continuous buffets!
Cowboy wanted to make sure others got to the buffet before I did. He wanted to be sure there'd be enough food for everyone else and he also said it was embarrassing to hold two extra plates for me but I assured him I could come back and have seconds, etc.
"Only seconds?"
Tsk.
"It's not like I eat like a marine," I reminded him.
"Not just one marine, bambina. More like a entire unit."
Double tsk.
Other than eating... we shopped. Bought great island hats, several sarongs and admired the wonderful island art in quite a few galleries. Interesting sarongs... some cover you from the breasts down, others from the waist and a few only from the hips. Naturally I wanted to know if natives went topless... it seems the waist and hip sarongs were meant for men... tsk. Bought a couple of "hip" ones for me for our private times. Bought one for Cowboy too. That should be interesting to see.
Beach time: Ohhhhhhh my. Very very nice. The squid got a lot of exercise chasing me... mostly at night. He has this annoying problem about my naked dancing but that might be partly his Cornwall-ish ancestry on his father's side. When his Italian mother was still with us, she assured me Cowboy's father was constantly chasing her too. See - it runs in the family.
Then there were the supper clubs and dancing. We did a lot of that. And because we're such a shy couple... we did a few impromptu tangos. A couple of those got the squid hot and bothered...
SWAT!
... so I made sure to repeat all those tango steps when we got back to our room.
I see the squid has been busy making changes to the blog, some nice, others I have to think about. But he DID add the "moon phases" pic on the right side. I thanked him for letting me know when the moon is full because he knows I adore dancing naked under it. He said...
"That's to let me know when to expect you to try to sneak out of the house, imp. A few days before and after - I'll be warming that tush of yours."
Tsk. I shouldn't have thanked him so quickly.
SWAT!
Double tsk.
I know some of you have sent email - my inbox is brimming. I'm not ignoring you. Because of the limited internet access while we're away, I haven't had a chance to read much of my email. We'll be routing home sometime next week - via Hawaii. I'll have more time then to get to it and reply; the rest will have to wait till we're home.
~Sar~
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Still here
We are still away from home as I write this. My wife is dozing on the balcony of the bungalow we are renting. It overlooks the lagoon. There is a bit of a breeze but it is a warm one and as long as it stays that way I'll let her sleep. We're both a little tan - we spend most of the day out on the beach. After lunch I take her shopping or insist she stay in and get a bit of rest. So far she hasn't objected. I have ways of keeping her entertained.
While a lot of folks are battling high winds and heavy rain and flooding, we have been lucky weather wise. It's mostly a warm sun with temps in the high 70s. Nighttime is mid to high 60s - perfect beach weather. We've had the occasional shower but they are brief and surprisingly warm. We were on the beach when one occurred and Sar was determined to stay outside. That was ok. I think that surprised the imp even more than when we went to bed with the windows wide open.
It didn't take long for her to ingratiate herself with staff that services the hotels, restaurants and tourist boats. Sar's always been curious about everything. Fortunately folks here are a friendly bunch. She's managed to get into a couple of restaurant kitchens and watch them make dishes she likes. A few of the chefs speak French or the Tahitian language and little English but that hasn't stopped Sar. I think they're impressed a vacationing tourist is interested in how some of the dishes are made. The imp's not averse to helping herself to the rich French Valrhona chocolate they use in their desserts. (I gave them a bit of cash to pay for what she eats.)
We've seen quite a lot of marine life, mostly sea turtles and odd configurations that might be starfish or some form of coral. Sar picked up an unusual piece on the ocean side of the reef and dropped it in a hurry when it moved in her hand. Had to laugh. She squealed like she does when the occasional oversized spider shows up in our house before the cats get to it. When that happens the sweet gentle lady turns into warrior woman and massacres it. Here, it just got dropped back to the sand.
There's a shark tank nearby where folks can feed them. Sar passed on that opportunity. There's also some scuba diving activities. I took her in the water with me but instead of checking out what was under the sea, she scuba-ed me. Things deteriorated and stuff happened. Don't have to rent scuba gear to do that - we can do that in the bungalow. Yeah, good things followed.
Did I tell you she wears a bathing suit most of the day? Not too revealing but enough skin shows that I keep an eye on her. Between the sun and the water and dancing in the hotel clubs at night we're both sleeping like logs. I'm damned pleased at her appetite and the rest she's getting. When I notice she's giving others an eyeful, I remind myself I'm the lucky guy that takes her home.
Into mischief? A resounding yes! The other day when I objected to the thong bikini she came out to the beach in the early evening, went behind the bungalow wearing a mumu-like dress and a big brim hat. Then she dropped the mumu and was NUDE underneath. Didn't waste any time tackling the imp to the sand and warming her butt before covering her up. In case you're wondering she reminded me I'm a neanderthal.
Yeah, that's me.
Cowboy
While a lot of folks are battling high winds and heavy rain and flooding, we have been lucky weather wise. It's mostly a warm sun with temps in the high 70s. Nighttime is mid to high 60s - perfect beach weather. We've had the occasional shower but they are brief and surprisingly warm. We were on the beach when one occurred and Sar was determined to stay outside. That was ok. I think that surprised the imp even more than when we went to bed with the windows wide open.
It didn't take long for her to ingratiate herself with staff that services the hotels, restaurants and tourist boats. Sar's always been curious about everything. Fortunately folks here are a friendly bunch. She's managed to get into a couple of restaurant kitchens and watch them make dishes she likes. A few of the chefs speak French or the Tahitian language and little English but that hasn't stopped Sar. I think they're impressed a vacationing tourist is interested in how some of the dishes are made. The imp's not averse to helping herself to the rich French Valrhona chocolate they use in their desserts. (I gave them a bit of cash to pay for what she eats.)
We've seen quite a lot of marine life, mostly sea turtles and odd configurations that might be starfish or some form of coral. Sar picked up an unusual piece on the ocean side of the reef and dropped it in a hurry when it moved in her hand. Had to laugh. She squealed like she does when the occasional oversized spider shows up in our house before the cats get to it. When that happens the sweet gentle lady turns into warrior woman and massacres it. Here, it just got dropped back to the sand.
There's a shark tank nearby where folks can feed them. Sar passed on that opportunity. There's also some scuba diving activities. I took her in the water with me but instead of checking out what was under the sea, she scuba-ed me. Things deteriorated and stuff happened. Don't have to rent scuba gear to do that - we can do that in the bungalow. Yeah, good things followed.
Did I tell you she wears a bathing suit most of the day? Not too revealing but enough skin shows that I keep an eye on her. Between the sun and the water and dancing in the hotel clubs at night we're both sleeping like logs. I'm damned pleased at her appetite and the rest she's getting. When I notice she's giving others an eyeful, I remind myself I'm the lucky guy that takes her home.
Into mischief? A resounding yes! The other day when I objected to the thong bikini she came out to the beach in the early evening, went behind the bungalow wearing a mumu-like dress and a big brim hat. Then she dropped the mumu and was NUDE underneath. Didn't waste any time tackling the imp to the sand and warming her butt before covering her up. In case you're wondering she reminded me I'm a neanderthal.
Yeah, that's me.
Cowboy
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Checking in--
Cowboy here a.k.a. CEO of Neanderthals, Inc. More about that later.
We took a flight out to Honolulu - enjoyed the company of friends and the beach for a few days, then took off before we were aware a hurricane was headed that way and flew to our final destination - Bora Bora in French Polynesia. This is a giant atoll - an island surrounded by a lagoon and a barrier reef which is a ring of land around the lagoon. Transportation from the airport was by boat and was one of the few times in our lives that my wife was stunned into silence. She, as well as I, am amazed by the beauty of this place.
I was here briefly many years ago and I knew Sar would love it. It's a favorite honeymoon destination. Most of the hotel guests are newlyweds. A perfect place to celebrate our anniversary - another honeymoon for us.
We're staying at a nice hotel and will remain here for about a week. This morning we had breakfast on the veranda overlooking the blue water. A good thing about staying at the beach is that Sar tends to eat more and if by chance she gains a few pounds, that would make me happy.
Lots of bikinis on the beach and when Sar put one on, I told her no. Thong bikinis are for our personal beach - a regular bikini gives enough of a show. Yeah, I'm a stickler for who gets to see what belongs to me. I did the packing and I didn't pack that one-- the imp must have slipped it into her bag of snacks. Damn thing is the size of 3 postage stamps. She could have put it in her cosmetic bag and nobody would notice. She wears a thong bikini - everybody notices. My wife is in her mid-40s and makes ladies 20 years younger envy her figure.
Might move into one of the bungalows on the reef next week when one becomes available. The bungalows are on stilts and there's a more private beach there. She can wear her thong bikini then. There's also a boat shuttle back and forth across the lagoon to the larger island so we can enjoy the restaurants and other amenities as well as the more public beach.
Ok-- about the Neanderthal bit. In Hawaii we were with old and dear friends. The lady of the house is a nudist. Need I say more? Bad enough my wife likes to dance naked under the full moon. When we're here Sar thinks it's ok to dance naked EVERY night. The couple we're staying with are Liam and Anne, mentioned in a story Sar just posted. For a lady in her mid-50s she's one heck of a gorgeous woman.
Liam and I walked in on them - out on the deck just after nightfall. Both are naked as the day they were born. Sar is teaching Anne a few dance steps. I don't remember what I said but they both looked at me like I had 2 heads. Liam laughed, told me how lucky I was - as if I didn't know - and stepped in front of his naked wife. Need help with those, he asked and put his hands on her breasts.
I grabbed Sar - tossed her over my shoulder and delivered a couple of hard swats. She yelled and called me a bully and a few other choice epithets and reminded me that the house was tucked away on a private beach.
Uh huh. Like that matters. We had a private discussion - mostly my hand and her tush but a brief one. I didn't want to make her hurt. I wanted to let her know that naked in our backyard is one thing - everywhere else no matter how close our friends is something else.
Ergo: I'm CEO of Neanderthals, Inc.
The next day I bought her one of those bandana things that tie around her bosom and a sarong for the rest of her.
So-- the next night Sar and Anne wear matching bandana/sarong outfits and dance on the edge of the water. Yeah-- in the middle of the dance they strip. I'm off the deck and chasing that imp of mine. She's laughing. I catch her, tackle her to the sand and promise sweet things if she behaves. She informs me she *is* behaving. A couple of swats later I cover her with my tee shirt. Yeah-- just so happens that dance etc woke up the band. Good things followed. I bought a few more sarongs for the Bora Bora part of the trip. We bid Liam and Anne goodbye and moved on.
Plan to spend a bit of time in Tahiti before going home. Right now we're enjoying Bora Bora, one of the most beautiful spots on the planet.
Sar sends regards and says she needs to make me crazy a few more times before she posts. Only a few? She's been making me crazy for years. Tomorrow's our anniversary - our 25th. Little did I know when I married that cute little 19 year old gal that I'd be more in love with her now than I ever thought possible.
Cowboy
We took a flight out to Honolulu - enjoyed the company of friends and the beach for a few days, then took off before we were aware a hurricane was headed that way and flew to our final destination - Bora Bora in French Polynesia. This is a giant atoll - an island surrounded by a lagoon and a barrier reef which is a ring of land around the lagoon. Transportation from the airport was by boat and was one of the few times in our lives that my wife was stunned into silence. She, as well as I, am amazed by the beauty of this place.
I was here briefly many years ago and I knew Sar would love it. It's a favorite honeymoon destination. Most of the hotel guests are newlyweds. A perfect place to celebrate our anniversary - another honeymoon for us.
We're staying at a nice hotel and will remain here for about a week. This morning we had breakfast on the veranda overlooking the blue water. A good thing about staying at the beach is that Sar tends to eat more and if by chance she gains a few pounds, that would make me happy.
Lots of bikinis on the beach and when Sar put one on, I told her no. Thong bikinis are for our personal beach - a regular bikini gives enough of a show. Yeah, I'm a stickler for who gets to see what belongs to me. I did the packing and I didn't pack that one-- the imp must have slipped it into her bag of snacks. Damn thing is the size of 3 postage stamps. She could have put it in her cosmetic bag and nobody would notice. She wears a thong bikini - everybody notices. My wife is in her mid-40s and makes ladies 20 years younger envy her figure.
Might move into one of the bungalows on the reef next week when one becomes available. The bungalows are on stilts and there's a more private beach there. She can wear her thong bikini then. There's also a boat shuttle back and forth across the lagoon to the larger island so we can enjoy the restaurants and other amenities as well as the more public beach.
Ok-- about the Neanderthal bit. In Hawaii we were with old and dear friends. The lady of the house is a nudist. Need I say more? Bad enough my wife likes to dance naked under the full moon. When we're here Sar thinks it's ok to dance naked EVERY night. The couple we're staying with are Liam and Anne, mentioned in a story Sar just posted. For a lady in her mid-50s she's one heck of a gorgeous woman.
Liam and I walked in on them - out on the deck just after nightfall. Both are naked as the day they were born. Sar is teaching Anne a few dance steps. I don't remember what I said but they both looked at me like I had 2 heads. Liam laughed, told me how lucky I was - as if I didn't know - and stepped in front of his naked wife. Need help with those, he asked and put his hands on her breasts.
I grabbed Sar - tossed her over my shoulder and delivered a couple of hard swats. She yelled and called me a bully and a few other choice epithets and reminded me that the house was tucked away on a private beach.
Uh huh. Like that matters. We had a private discussion - mostly my hand and her tush but a brief one. I didn't want to make her hurt. I wanted to let her know that naked in our backyard is one thing - everywhere else no matter how close our friends is something else.
Ergo: I'm CEO of Neanderthals, Inc.
The next day I bought her one of those bandana things that tie around her bosom and a sarong for the rest of her.
So-- the next night Sar and Anne wear matching bandana/sarong outfits and dance on the edge of the water. Yeah-- in the middle of the dance they strip. I'm off the deck and chasing that imp of mine. She's laughing. I catch her, tackle her to the sand and promise sweet things if she behaves. She informs me she *is* behaving. A couple of swats later I cover her with my tee shirt. Yeah-- just so happens that dance etc woke up the band. Good things followed. I bought a few more sarongs for the Bora Bora part of the trip. We bid Liam and Anne goodbye and moved on.
Plan to spend a bit of time in Tahiti before going home. Right now we're enjoying Bora Bora, one of the most beautiful spots on the planet.
Sar sends regards and says she needs to make me crazy a few more times before she posts. Only a few? She's been making me crazy for years. Tomorrow's our anniversary - our 25th. Little did I know when I married that cute little 19 year old gal that I'd be more in love with her now than I ever thought possible.
Cowboy
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Leaving...
We're at the gate waiting for our flight to be called. Cowboy is at the snack bar getting coffee for us. I already had a few snacks...
It was hard saying goodbye to the menagerie. The pups whined but the cats react differently when they think they've been left out of things. DomTom nipped my ear; he doesn't approve of my travel arrangements with Cowboy. He thinks even less of our sharing a bed... Miss Emmy crawled under the bed and will probably stay there most of the time.
Because I live in a nut house...
The other night I was online chatting with friends when I heard Miss Emmy make a sound that roughly translates to near death. I rushed downstairs...
It seems BullyBoy was holding a wide-mouth jar of peanut butter between his paws and was trying to lick the remnants off the bottom and sides of it. Miss Emmy came over to sniff what he was eating. Being the friendly slob that he is, he thumped his tail and licked her face in greeting.
THE SKY IS FALLING! DOOMSDAY! UNCLEAN! And ICKKKKK!
Peanut butter residue and dog slobber all over Miss Emmy's face.
Naturally the cat's reaction got the Rott's attention as well as Cowboy's... Not knowing why the cat was saying ugly words, BullyBoy tried to console her... by licking her face!
She ran out of the room and rushed to Archie, the ancient bloodhound for protection. The old guy was asleep in the laundry room and had slept through the turmoil. Miss Emmy dashed under one of his long long ears to hide thus coating the underside of his ear with dog slobber and peanut butter.
It tickled... He woke up and bayed. This caused the Rott to start barking. The other cat jumped on top of the clothes dryer hissing and spitting. Since everyone else was following the cats, BullyBoy went back to the peanut butter jar. That animal has his priorities in order.
Cowboy started yelling - another male out of control...
SWAT!
Hey!! I didn't do anything! Tsk.
I grabbed Miss Emmy, soaked a washcloth and washed her face clean of stuff and left her to rewash it on her own - we humans never get it right. Cowboy cleaned Archie's ear and assured him they were the only two sane males in the house and that sometimes, life's a bitch.
Double tsk!
SWAT!
"Heyyyyy. I was just repeating what YOU said!"
"Who gave that peanut butter to the mastiff?"
"It's HIS jar of peanut butter."
"You don't give peanut butter to dogs."
"Tsk. I'm not letting him eat out of MY jar."
"Sarrrrrr!"
"If a dog can drink Budweiser, a jar of Skippy peanut butter isn't going to kill him."
Needless to say, if I repeated what the giant squid said I wouldn't be sitting comfortably on the flight.
...And lookee here. Some of the flight attendants have wandered over to the snack bar to chat it up with Cowboy. I guess they don't realize those humonguous hands have multiple skills.
I love watching women flirt with my husband. I especially love the looks on their faces when I show up and slip my arm through his or reach up for a kiss. Yes, I'm evil.
Okay, need another snack. They're doing those pre-flight things at the podium and will call our flight in a few minutes. I'll try to pop in and let you know how we are, where we are, and whether or not the giant squid is behaving.
SWAT!
LOL!
~Sar~
It was hard saying goodbye to the menagerie. The pups whined but the cats react differently when they think they've been left out of things. DomTom nipped my ear; he doesn't approve of my travel arrangements with Cowboy. He thinks even less of our sharing a bed... Miss Emmy crawled under the bed and will probably stay there most of the time.
Because I live in a nut house...
The other night I was online chatting with friends when I heard Miss Emmy make a sound that roughly translates to near death. I rushed downstairs...
It seems BullyBoy was holding a wide-mouth jar of peanut butter between his paws and was trying to lick the remnants off the bottom and sides of it. Miss Emmy came over to sniff what he was eating. Being the friendly slob that he is, he thumped his tail and licked her face in greeting.
THE SKY IS FALLING! DOOMSDAY! UNCLEAN! And ICKKKKK!
Peanut butter residue and dog slobber all over Miss Emmy's face.
Naturally the cat's reaction got the Rott's attention as well as Cowboy's... Not knowing why the cat was saying ugly words, BullyBoy tried to console her... by licking her face!
She ran out of the room and rushed to Archie, the ancient bloodhound for protection. The old guy was asleep in the laundry room and had slept through the turmoil. Miss Emmy dashed under one of his long long ears to hide thus coating the underside of his ear with dog slobber and peanut butter.
It tickled... He woke up and bayed. This caused the Rott to start barking. The other cat jumped on top of the clothes dryer hissing and spitting. Since everyone else was following the cats, BullyBoy went back to the peanut butter jar. That animal has his priorities in order.
Cowboy started yelling - another male out of control...
SWAT!
Hey!! I didn't do anything! Tsk.
I grabbed Miss Emmy, soaked a washcloth and washed her face clean of stuff and left her to rewash it on her own - we humans never get it right. Cowboy cleaned Archie's ear and assured him they were the only two sane males in the house and that sometimes, life's a bitch.
Double tsk!
SWAT!
"Heyyyyy. I was just repeating what YOU said!"
"Who gave that peanut butter to the mastiff?"
"It's HIS jar of peanut butter."
"You don't give peanut butter to dogs."
"Tsk. I'm not letting him eat out of MY jar."
"Sarrrrrr!"
"If a dog can drink Budweiser, a jar of Skippy peanut butter isn't going to kill him."
Needless to say, if I repeated what the giant squid said I wouldn't be sitting comfortably on the flight.
...And lookee here. Some of the flight attendants have wandered over to the snack bar to chat it up with Cowboy. I guess they don't realize those humonguous hands have multiple skills.
I love watching women flirt with my husband. I especially love the looks on their faces when I show up and slip my arm through his or reach up for a kiss. Yes, I'm evil.
Okay, need another snack. They're doing those pre-flight things at the podium and will call our flight in a few minutes. I'll try to pop in and let you know how we are, where we are, and whether or not the giant squid is behaving.
SWAT!
LOL!
~Sar~
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Getting ready for trip
Cowboy here. Wrote this last night after the imp passed out from exhaustion. Sar's been going nonstop for some time now - getting things moving along so after we're back from our anniversary trip she'll won't be too far behind in her work. I told her she needed to get some rest. Sar's response was she wasn't tired or sleepy. I had a cure for that.
After she stopped cussing and fussing and still refused to go to bed, the imp went into the yard to take refuge behind the outdoor Rotts. The male is an oversized dog for the breed. He'd probably rip me to shreds if push came to shove. The female is the more vicious of the pair and let's face it, her mission in life is to keep Sar safe.
Our dogs know better than to accept food from anyone but us and a couple of other folks. I tossed them a couple of steak chunks Bull overlooked-- and the imp was mine.
More cussing and fussing and then she reluctantly lay down on the couch for a nap. Passed right out. Put her to bed - never woke even after I picked her up - and tucked her in. Left the bedroom to go downstairs - got attacked by our large cat. That animal and I only tolerate each other so the minute Sar starts fussing, it always goes after me. Wondering how long the damn cat's going to live--
When Sar is working and concentrating everything else goes out the window. I don't mind bringing meals home for supper but I worry that she forgets to eat during the day. Bull tells me she's eating. Yeah, junk food. The kid doesn't know the difference. He sees food - he opens his mouth.
Now, I ask WHAT is she eating? My wife thinks a big bowl of mashed potatoes with butter and cream is a meal. Half a cake is a meal. A bag of chips and a couple bottles of pop equal a meal. 5 chocolate bars are a meal. 10 Twinkies are a meal. When I complain I'm informed she also had a quart of milk.
Knowing that it doesn't take much for my wife to get sick, I try to put things in perspective. As long as she's eating something plus eats what I bring home for supper I guess that's better than not eating at all. She'll get plenty of attention from me while we're away. Trust me. Food and rest will be high on my list - also a lot of leisure to do whatever she wants to do after we arrive.
Other stuff.
David leaves this weekend for the Solomon Islands. They had a tsunami/ earthquake a couple months ago. He's supervising some U.S. military providing humanitarian aid. The Aussie Navy is there too. Sar baked a bunch of stuff he likes - probably last him about 3 days. His housekeeper will stay at his house full-time while he's away - supposedly to take care of the giant tortoise Sar insisted on giving him. Between you and me I think she's there to keep the house safe from David's lady friends. According to Sar, the tortoise is a chick magnet for the guy.
Last medical appointment went fairly well. Doc ended up with only a bruise - thanked me for staying in the room. The tech that tried to draw blood from the imp's arm didn't do so well. Sar managed to kick him in the shin before I could stop her. I delivered a firm swat but the tech got an extra kick the second he turned his back. Some of them never learn. These appointments are traumatic for all concerned. I always take her out for breakfast or a banana split etc for a reward. I wouldn't be surprised if the medics take several aspirin and sneak a couple glasses of wine after we leave. It's against regs but trying to examine Sar is equal to front line combat duty so I ignore the lapse in conduct.
We'll be leaving town in about a week. Sar might have a chance to make another post before we go but no guarantees on that. BTW, for those who asked about "posted by Sar" at the bottom of the posts I write-- the imp's name is the only one on the registry here. She says she'll add mine when she figures out how to do that. Don't hold your breath.
Cowboy
After she stopped cussing and fussing and still refused to go to bed, the imp went into the yard to take refuge behind the outdoor Rotts. The male is an oversized dog for the breed. He'd probably rip me to shreds if push came to shove. The female is the more vicious of the pair and let's face it, her mission in life is to keep Sar safe.
Our dogs know better than to accept food from anyone but us and a couple of other folks. I tossed them a couple of steak chunks Bull overlooked-- and the imp was mine.
More cussing and fussing and then she reluctantly lay down on the couch for a nap. Passed right out. Put her to bed - never woke even after I picked her up - and tucked her in. Left the bedroom to go downstairs - got attacked by our large cat. That animal and I only tolerate each other so the minute Sar starts fussing, it always goes after me. Wondering how long the damn cat's going to live--
When Sar is working and concentrating everything else goes out the window. I don't mind bringing meals home for supper but I worry that she forgets to eat during the day. Bull tells me she's eating. Yeah, junk food. The kid doesn't know the difference. He sees food - he opens his mouth.
Now, I ask WHAT is she eating? My wife thinks a big bowl of mashed potatoes with butter and cream is a meal. Half a cake is a meal. A bag of chips and a couple bottles of pop equal a meal. 5 chocolate bars are a meal. 10 Twinkies are a meal. When I complain I'm informed she also had a quart of milk.
Knowing that it doesn't take much for my wife to get sick, I try to put things in perspective. As long as she's eating something plus eats what I bring home for supper I guess that's better than not eating at all. She'll get plenty of attention from me while we're away. Trust me. Food and rest will be high on my list - also a lot of leisure to do whatever she wants to do after we arrive.
Other stuff.
David leaves this weekend for the Solomon Islands. They had a tsunami/ earthquake a couple months ago. He's supervising some U.S. military providing humanitarian aid. The Aussie Navy is there too. Sar baked a bunch of stuff he likes - probably last him about 3 days. His housekeeper will stay at his house full-time while he's away - supposedly to take care of the giant tortoise Sar insisted on giving him. Between you and me I think she's there to keep the house safe from David's lady friends. According to Sar, the tortoise is a chick magnet for the guy.
Last medical appointment went fairly well. Doc ended up with only a bruise - thanked me for staying in the room. The tech that tried to draw blood from the imp's arm didn't do so well. Sar managed to kick him in the shin before I could stop her. I delivered a firm swat but the tech got an extra kick the second he turned his back. Some of them never learn. These appointments are traumatic for all concerned. I always take her out for breakfast or a banana split etc for a reward. I wouldn't be surprised if the medics take several aspirin and sneak a couple glasses of wine after we leave. It's against regs but trying to examine Sar is equal to front line combat duty so I ignore the lapse in conduct.
We'll be leaving town in about a week. Sar might have a chance to make another post before we go but no guarantees on that. BTW, for those who asked about "posted by Sar" at the bottom of the posts I write-- the imp's name is the only one on the registry here. She says she'll add mine when she figures out how to do that. Don't hold your breath.
Cowboy
Friday, July 27, 2007
Lemonade
At a site I frequent there was a post on the discussion board that listed the many reasons some folks don't like to do the grocery shopping. There were all sorts of reasons, carts with lopsided wheels, children that race down the aisles, shoppers that leave their carts in the middle of the aisle, items on a high shelf that few people can reach, and so on.
There were some rough spots in my life growing up and I've learned that when life gives you lemons, try to make lemonade. It's less frustrating and granted, it doesn't always work but it's definitely worth a try.
I love grocery shopping. I ignore the obstacles and focus on the goal - FOOD. I like to consider grocery shopping an eating event. Eating my way across the store is a wondrous thing to do. In addition to the snacks, there are the fresh bakery items, the deli, the ready-made dishes, and in the aisles that carry ethnic foods, the opportunity to browse through new food items. When Cowboy goes with me - which isn't often - he pushes a cart and pulls one behind him and I carry one of those small baskets to hold all the wrappers of stuff I ate while shopping so we pay for them. Over the years, the giant squid has learned not to grumble too loudly because he knows I'm going to eat while we're there regardless of what he says. Store clerks are used to me; they don't make snide remarks when they ring up the empty wrappers and containers. I'm so busy eating I don't notice the obstacles... lemonade.
You know how traffic can be a sudden nightmare... an accident or bad weather turns drivers into monsters. If I have to sit in traffic or slow down to 2 miles per hour, I pop a "talking book" into the player and keep myself entertained. If the pups are with me, I like to sing... I CAN'T sing. But the gawd-awful noise that comes out of my mouth makes the dogs howl. This is hilarious all by itself but combined with the ugly sounds I'm making, it's an audible event that defies description. People around us look aghast and some even laugh or join in. Yeah, I'm a little nutso sometimes but what the heck. It's better than grumbling about traffic... lemonade.
I even like doing the laundry... It's an opportunity to be creative. I'm fond of testing new dyes for my textile art... the giant squid has an abundance of dyed boxer shorts... I won't repeat the words he uses when he discovers he's out of white ones... very funny lemonade.
"Where are my white boxers?"
"You don't have any."
"I'm in summer whites! These @#$% red ones will show through my uniform!"
"You'll start a new fashion trend."
"SARRRRRR!"
"What?"
SWAT!
Tsk
Moving along...
Hadrian, the Neo Mastiff has been officially adopted. He goes to his new "forever" home this weekend. He's passed his obedience trials, actually behaves most of the time and frankly, I'm going to miss him like crazy. The pony-size pup is a real clown and a cuddle bear and his new family is wild about him. There's a mom and dad and 4 kids. The twin boys are 5 years old and the twin girls are 3. Yep, invitro can work wonders. When the giant pup spotted the kids, he knew right away they were "his." They crawled all over him and he basked in their attention and rewarded them properly - slobber all over their faces. All were very happy. Of course, this made me happy, too.
Miss Emmy, one of our cats, has pneumonia. Cowboy woke me very early the other day when he heard her coughing. At first, we thought she was trying to hurl a hairball but she was all clammy and her eyes a little glazed. Got her to the vet in record time. She got a shot and some antibiotics and now, 48 hours later, is doing much better. The giant wuss I married...
SWAT!
Tsk
...can't seem to get a pill down the 10-lb. cat's throat...
Amazing. He seems perfectly capable of shoving horse pills down mine!
I have a sure-fire method of getting pills down a cat's throat. I pinch her nose which makes her mouth open. Shove the pill down her throat, then clamp her mouth shut and give a quick yank (not too hard) to her tail and that startles her and she swallows fast. Always works.
Cowboy says a large and heavy and threatening hand on MY tail does the same thing... DOUBLE TSK.
DomTom, on the other hand, just eats anything I give him so a crushed pill in his food always works. Cowboy says it's because the cat is male... he knows he needs the medicine.
Uh huh.
We have an anniversary next month. It's a biggie and the giant Neanderthal is surprising me with a trip to a romantic spot. All he told me is that it is in the South Pacific. The South Pacific is a LARGE area so no telling where we're going. He said he'd give me 24-hour notice and to pack clothing for a warm climate and to include a bathing suit. He'd buy whatever else I might need when we get to wherever else is.
This is very exciting. We should be away 3-5 weeks and hopefully, there will be no national emergencies that will recall him to home base. I don't know if I'll have Internet access; Cowboy will have his laptop which hooks to satellite but I don't know if I'll be able to use it while we're away. We're not leaving for another week or so; I might get a chance to touch base with you before then. I'm close to finishing a story and have asked a friend to post it to my web site. I've already composed an "announcement" for those of you on the list.
Speaking of the "announce list." A few of you have asked if you can be added to it. All of you can do that. Go to my web site - link on the right at the top of this page. Scroll to the bottom of the page where you will see a "yahoo invitation" box. Put your email addy in that box and it will take you to yahoo groups where you can sign onto the announce list. The group only receives mail from me when I post a new story. If that sounds too confusing for you, email me and tell me you want to be on the list and I'll send you an invitation to join.
Bull is still with us and will remain at the house while we're away. We have a regular house/pet sitter who will come by a few times to make sure all is well but Bull will take care of the pets - feeding, exercising, etc. I've filled a freezer with food for him - regular meals and lots of baked goods. I also put a padlock on it so he doesn't eat everything before we go away.
Putting in long hours to get some things done before we leave. Feeding lots of peachy things to the giant squid who will suffer peach withdrawal while we're away. I told him he'll have me 24/7 to fill him up. As usual... I have to remind myself I'm a lady and not repeat the embarrassing things he said when I told him that.
~Sar~
There were some rough spots in my life growing up and I've learned that when life gives you lemons, try to make lemonade. It's less frustrating and granted, it doesn't always work but it's definitely worth a try.
I love grocery shopping. I ignore the obstacles and focus on the goal - FOOD. I like to consider grocery shopping an eating event. Eating my way across the store is a wondrous thing to do. In addition to the snacks, there are the fresh bakery items, the deli, the ready-made dishes, and in the aisles that carry ethnic foods, the opportunity to browse through new food items. When Cowboy goes with me - which isn't often - he pushes a cart and pulls one behind him and I carry one of those small baskets to hold all the wrappers of stuff I ate while shopping so we pay for them. Over the years, the giant squid has learned not to grumble too loudly because he knows I'm going to eat while we're there regardless of what he says. Store clerks are used to me; they don't make snide remarks when they ring up the empty wrappers and containers. I'm so busy eating I don't notice the obstacles... lemonade.
You know how traffic can be a sudden nightmare... an accident or bad weather turns drivers into monsters. If I have to sit in traffic or slow down to 2 miles per hour, I pop a "talking book" into the player and keep myself entertained. If the pups are with me, I like to sing... I CAN'T sing. But the gawd-awful noise that comes out of my mouth makes the dogs howl. This is hilarious all by itself but combined with the ugly sounds I'm making, it's an audible event that defies description. People around us look aghast and some even laugh or join in. Yeah, I'm a little nutso sometimes but what the heck. It's better than grumbling about traffic... lemonade.
I even like doing the laundry... It's an opportunity to be creative. I'm fond of testing new dyes for my textile art... the giant squid has an abundance of dyed boxer shorts... I won't repeat the words he uses when he discovers he's out of white ones... very funny lemonade.
"Where are my white boxers?"
"You don't have any."
"I'm in summer whites! These @#$% red ones will show through my uniform!"
"You'll start a new fashion trend."
"SARRRRRR!"
"What?"
SWAT!
Tsk
Moving along...
Hadrian, the Neo Mastiff has been officially adopted. He goes to his new "forever" home this weekend. He's passed his obedience trials, actually behaves most of the time and frankly, I'm going to miss him like crazy. The pony-size pup is a real clown and a cuddle bear and his new family is wild about him. There's a mom and dad and 4 kids. The twin boys are 5 years old and the twin girls are 3. Yep, invitro can work wonders. When the giant pup spotted the kids, he knew right away they were "his." They crawled all over him and he basked in their attention and rewarded them properly - slobber all over their faces. All were very happy. Of course, this made me happy, too.
Miss Emmy, one of our cats, has pneumonia. Cowboy woke me very early the other day when he heard her coughing. At first, we thought she was trying to hurl a hairball but she was all clammy and her eyes a little glazed. Got her to the vet in record time. She got a shot and some antibiotics and now, 48 hours later, is doing much better. The giant wuss I married...
SWAT!
Tsk
...can't seem to get a pill down the 10-lb. cat's throat...
Amazing. He seems perfectly capable of shoving horse pills down mine!
I have a sure-fire method of getting pills down a cat's throat. I pinch her nose which makes her mouth open. Shove the pill down her throat, then clamp her mouth shut and give a quick yank (not too hard) to her tail and that startles her and she swallows fast. Always works.
Cowboy says a large and heavy and threatening hand on MY tail does the same thing... DOUBLE TSK.
DomTom, on the other hand, just eats anything I give him so a crushed pill in his food always works. Cowboy says it's because the cat is male... he knows he needs the medicine.
Uh huh.
We have an anniversary next month. It's a biggie and the giant Neanderthal is surprising me with a trip to a romantic spot. All he told me is that it is in the South Pacific. The South Pacific is a LARGE area so no telling where we're going. He said he'd give me 24-hour notice and to pack clothing for a warm climate and to include a bathing suit. He'd buy whatever else I might need when we get to wherever else is.
This is very exciting. We should be away 3-5 weeks and hopefully, there will be no national emergencies that will recall him to home base. I don't know if I'll have Internet access; Cowboy will have his laptop which hooks to satellite but I don't know if I'll be able to use it while we're away. We're not leaving for another week or so; I might get a chance to touch base with you before then. I'm close to finishing a story and have asked a friend to post it to my web site. I've already composed an "announcement" for those of you on the list.
Speaking of the "announce list." A few of you have asked if you can be added to it. All of you can do that. Go to my web site - link on the right at the top of this page. Scroll to the bottom of the page where you will see a "yahoo invitation" box. Put your email addy in that box and it will take you to yahoo groups where you can sign onto the announce list. The group only receives mail from me when I post a new story. If that sounds too confusing for you, email me and tell me you want to be on the list and I'll send you an invitation to join.
Bull is still with us and will remain at the house while we're away. We have a regular house/pet sitter who will come by a few times to make sure all is well but Bull will take care of the pets - feeding, exercising, etc. I've filled a freezer with food for him - regular meals and lots of baked goods. I also put a padlock on it so he doesn't eat everything before we go away.
Putting in long hours to get some things done before we leave. Feeding lots of peachy things to the giant squid who will suffer peach withdrawal while we're away. I told him he'll have me 24/7 to fill him up. As usual... I have to remind myself I'm a lady and not repeat the embarrassing things he said when I told him that.
~Sar~
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Skinny Dipping
We've had unreasonably hot weather, not something we usually get out here in the Pacific Northwest. We get about a week or two of high 80s and rarely more than 2-3 days at a time in July and August. So far this year, we've had more than our share of the hot sticky stuff and it's hit the mid and high 90s enough times that I've given serious thought to flying to northern Alaska.
Houses are not air conditioned in Western Washington and yes, I have fans going at high speed in most of the rooms. The dogs go dumb this time of year - keeping their fur coats on in this heat... I brought all of them into the house and needless to say, they're hogging the fans. Both cats are snoozing on top of the freezer in the garage.
I told the giant squid if he didn't get A/C for the house I was going to trek to northern climes.
"It's only a few days a year, bambina."
"I can't take the heat!" I said a little louder than I normally speak.
"You think this is hot?" he grumbled. "Wait till you feel how hot it's gonna get on your tush!" This was said in a not-so-nice tone of voice.
"Bully!"
SWAT!
"I'm leaving and spending the next few days in an air conditioned hotel. You can order takeout for you and the pups."
SWAT!
"You're staying," he said with great confidence. "And tonight, we'll go skinny dipping. Sound good?"
Ohhhhhhh skinny dipping. Our neighbor is out of town and told us to use their pool whenever we wanted to. Very few pools out this way. We had one in Miami when we lived there and used it most of the year. Hmmm... no neighbors, beautiful pool, hot night, skinny dipping. Okey dokey, I can do that.
So... that evening - late - we walked over to the neighbor's house. The house is surrounded by tall evergreens and it's very dark so we turned on one outside patio light so we could see where we were. Stripped and jumped into the pool.
Splashing, swimming, teasing, the band is cued to play... and just when things were getting v-e-r-y yummy, a humonguously bright light is turned on and directed at us. I scurried behind the giant squid. A voice says very calmly...
"Is that you, Admiral?"
Apparently, the neighbor on the other side heard us and thought a couple of teenagers were trespassing on the property and called the police.
Honestly...
"Good evening, Officer," Cowboy says just as calmly, treading water as if he was used to being scrutinized in his birthday suit.
Total frontal nudity! Accckkkkk!
Not wanting to be left out of the fun...
I'm still hiding my naked self behind Cowboy but I yell - "Oh Officer, this big mean man ripped my clothes off!
He tossed me into the pool!
He means to have his way with me!"
Cowboy snorts.
Tsk.
The officer laughs and says "I bet he does." And then he says "Have fun, kids," and takes off!
Tsk! That's the thanks I get for baking goodies for the local policeman's charity event?
"Bambina..." the giant squid says and gives me "that look."
"He called you a kid," I yell and start to swim away. "And he saw you naked. Egads!"
"Just as long as he didn't see YOU naked," Cowboy says and dives under water where he got very fresh and used his Sealy swimming abilities to get me just high enough above the water to deliver a couple of swats.
Then he got even fresher and wouldn't you know it? The band finally played on.
~Sar~
Houses are not air conditioned in Western Washington and yes, I have fans going at high speed in most of the rooms. The dogs go dumb this time of year - keeping their fur coats on in this heat... I brought all of them into the house and needless to say, they're hogging the fans. Both cats are snoozing on top of the freezer in the garage.
I told the giant squid if he didn't get A/C for the house I was going to trek to northern climes.
"It's only a few days a year, bambina."
"I can't take the heat!" I said a little louder than I normally speak.
"You think this is hot?" he grumbled. "Wait till you feel how hot it's gonna get on your tush!" This was said in a not-so-nice tone of voice.
"Bully!"
SWAT!
"I'm leaving and spending the next few days in an air conditioned hotel. You can order takeout for you and the pups."
SWAT!
"You're staying," he said with great confidence. "And tonight, we'll go skinny dipping. Sound good?"
Ohhhhhhh skinny dipping. Our neighbor is out of town and told us to use their pool whenever we wanted to. Very few pools out this way. We had one in Miami when we lived there and used it most of the year. Hmmm... no neighbors, beautiful pool, hot night, skinny dipping. Okey dokey, I can do that.
So... that evening - late - we walked over to the neighbor's house. The house is surrounded by tall evergreens and it's very dark so we turned on one outside patio light so we could see where we were. Stripped and jumped into the pool.
Splashing, swimming, teasing, the band is cued to play... and just when things were getting v-e-r-y yummy, a humonguously bright light is turned on and directed at us. I scurried behind the giant squid. A voice says very calmly...
"Is that you, Admiral?"
Apparently, the neighbor on the other side heard us and thought a couple of teenagers were trespassing on the property and called the police.
Honestly...
"Good evening, Officer," Cowboy says just as calmly, treading water as if he was used to being scrutinized in his birthday suit.
Total frontal nudity! Accckkkkk!
Not wanting to be left out of the fun...
I'm still hiding my naked self behind Cowboy but I yell - "Oh Officer, this big mean man ripped my clothes off!
He tossed me into the pool!
He means to have his way with me!"
Cowboy snorts.
Tsk.
The officer laughs and says "I bet he does." And then he says "Have fun, kids," and takes off!
Tsk! That's the thanks I get for baking goodies for the local policeman's charity event?
"Bambina..." the giant squid says and gives me "that look."
"He called you a kid," I yell and start to swim away. "And he saw you naked. Egads!"
"Just as long as he didn't see YOU naked," Cowboy says and dives under water where he got very fresh and used his Sealy swimming abilities to get me just high enough above the water to deliver a couple of swats.
Then he got even fresher and wouldn't you know it? The band finally played on.
~Sar~
Friday, July 13, 2007
Ponies!
We've got two ponies in the backyard! I'm beside myself with utter joy! Every year, when the giant squid asks me what I want for Christmas, I always say I want a pony. Tsk. I never get one.
The reason for the ponies is Patrick's birthday. The little tyke will be ten years old on Sunday and we're having a birthday party for him at our house. Lots of cake and ice cream and presents and pony rides for his guests.
I asked Bull to take care of the pony part and I'd take care of the food, etc. So, yesterday afternoon he went to a pony farm and instead of arranging to have the ponies here for Sunday afternoon, he hitched a pony trailer to his Hummer and brought them home! I was thrilled, of course, but was not expecting to house two ponies for the extra days and nights. The big lug got hay and oats and bunches of carrots and emptied all the apples out of my larder. Fortunately, he has experience with ponies; I only know how to ride them.
Cowboy was away when all this occurred - working a double shift at the base so he could take a few days off. I was asleep when he got home sometime after midnight but at oh-dark-thirty the Neanderthal woke me with a smack on my backside and a loud:
"What the hell are two horses doing in my backyard?"
HIS backyard? Tsk.
"We have two horses in the backyard?" I asked, playing the innocent card. I mean... it was oh-dark-thirty for crying out loud. I had been sleeping and rudely awakened by a large and heavy hand. NO COUTH!
"Sar..." this said in that soft scary voice that means I should be heading for the outer edge of the planet YESTERDAY!
"Ponies for Patrick's party," I yelled and jumped off the foot of the bed, hurled myself across the room and out the door. Tripped over SweetPea and BullyBoy who were sleeping on the other side of the door instead of in their beds on the landing and skidded on my belly down the hall and ended up on top of bare feet... I looked up and Bull looked down and picked me up and told me not to worry - he'd take the heat from Cowboy about the ponies being in the backyard 2 days early.
Oh yeah, sure, right. Like Cowboy's gonna spank the behemoth instead of me!
And... was so glad I happened to be wearing pj's instead of just one of the giant squid's t-shirts.
"I'm waiting for an explanation," Genghis Khan reincarnated demanded, leaning against the wall with his Popeye arms folded across his chest.
"You're from Texas," I said calmly despite my heart racing. "Ponies shouldn't upset you."
"Sar..."
"Oy. You must be getting old if two little ole ponies in the yard are upsetting."
"I think you'd better hush up before his next move," Bull whispered.
I thought so too and slid out of Bull's arms and moved behind the big guy.
"Don't let him hurt me," I mumbled, peeking from behind the huge barrier of his body.
"I'd never hurt you, bambina," the giant squid said, "but I'd spank you in a New York minute. Come here."
"I'm okay right here," I replied, hanging onto the back of Bull's T-shirt.
"Don't make me come get you."
Oy!
Bull jumped in with an explanation which thankfully, the giant squid understood. "So you're not mad at Sar, right?" the sweet but terribly naive man asked.
"Never mad at her," Cowboy said and before I knew it, I was no longer behind Bull but caught up in Genghis Khan's arms!
"No spanking cause of the ponies, right?" Bull persisted.
"Nope, the ponies are home free," Genghis agreed.
"Whew! Well I'm back to the sack," Bull said and went back to bed.
"And you're over my knee," the giant squid laughed and landed a smack right on my teeny tiny bottom.
"Heyyyyyy!" I complained.
"You should have called me to tell me what was going on," Cowboy said and delivered another smack.
"No peach cobbler!" I yelled.
"Is that so?" he said in that scary voice.
Oy.
"Going to tell Bull and Patrick you spanked me for NOTHING!"
"No, you're not," the president of Neanderthals R Us said.
"Since when do ponies in the backyard constitute putting my health or safety in jeopardy?"
"My health," the Neanderthal replied. "My mental health."
"Not fair!" I protested as I stared at the carpet. Hmmm, need to get these shampooed. "You're changing the rules. I'm not cooking till you apologize for spanking me."
I am indignant and feeling very put upon at the moment.
"Apologize? For giving you a well-deserved smack? Nope."
...And another smack made contact.
I took a deep breath, grabbed Cowboy's bare leg... and BIT HIM!
A very ugly stream of words followed. Not from me, from HIM. I'm an angel.
"Are you going to apologize?" I asked as he pulled me up and away from his leg.
"Gonna toast your tush, bambina."
"You'd be better off making whoopee instead," I assured him.
"You been reading Winning Through Intimidation again?"
I nodded.
"You win. I apologize. Now kiss me."
The band played on... Later, I made peach cobbler... and spent the day playing with the ponies.
Some days I am so good at this I can't stand it.
~Sar~
The reason for the ponies is Patrick's birthday. The little tyke will be ten years old on Sunday and we're having a birthday party for him at our house. Lots of cake and ice cream and presents and pony rides for his guests.
I asked Bull to take care of the pony part and I'd take care of the food, etc. So, yesterday afternoon he went to a pony farm and instead of arranging to have the ponies here for Sunday afternoon, he hitched a pony trailer to his Hummer and brought them home! I was thrilled, of course, but was not expecting to house two ponies for the extra days and nights. The big lug got hay and oats and bunches of carrots and emptied all the apples out of my larder. Fortunately, he has experience with ponies; I only know how to ride them.
Cowboy was away when all this occurred - working a double shift at the base so he could take a few days off. I was asleep when he got home sometime after midnight but at oh-dark-thirty the Neanderthal woke me with a smack on my backside and a loud:
"What the hell are two horses doing in my backyard?"
HIS backyard? Tsk.
"We have two horses in the backyard?" I asked, playing the innocent card. I mean... it was oh-dark-thirty for crying out loud. I had been sleeping and rudely awakened by a large and heavy hand. NO COUTH!
"Sar..." this said in that soft scary voice that means I should be heading for the outer edge of the planet YESTERDAY!
"Ponies for Patrick's party," I yelled and jumped off the foot of the bed, hurled myself across the room and out the door. Tripped over SweetPea and BullyBoy who were sleeping on the other side of the door instead of in their beds on the landing and skidded on my belly down the hall and ended up on top of bare feet... I looked up and Bull looked down and picked me up and told me not to worry - he'd take the heat from Cowboy about the ponies being in the backyard 2 days early.
Oh yeah, sure, right. Like Cowboy's gonna spank the behemoth instead of me!
And... was so glad I happened to be wearing pj's instead of just one of the giant squid's t-shirts.
"I'm waiting for an explanation," Genghis Khan reincarnated demanded, leaning against the wall with his Popeye arms folded across his chest.
"You're from Texas," I said calmly despite my heart racing. "Ponies shouldn't upset you."
"Sar..."
"Oy. You must be getting old if two little ole ponies in the yard are upsetting."
"I think you'd better hush up before his next move," Bull whispered.
I thought so too and slid out of Bull's arms and moved behind the big guy.
"Don't let him hurt me," I mumbled, peeking from behind the huge barrier of his body.
"I'd never hurt you, bambina," the giant squid said, "but I'd spank you in a New York minute. Come here."
"I'm okay right here," I replied, hanging onto the back of Bull's T-shirt.
"Don't make me come get you."
Oy!
Bull jumped in with an explanation which thankfully, the giant squid understood. "So you're not mad at Sar, right?" the sweet but terribly naive man asked.
"Never mad at her," Cowboy said and before I knew it, I was no longer behind Bull but caught up in Genghis Khan's arms!
"No spanking cause of the ponies, right?" Bull persisted.
"Nope, the ponies are home free," Genghis agreed.
"Whew! Well I'm back to the sack," Bull said and went back to bed.
"And you're over my knee," the giant squid laughed and landed a smack right on my teeny tiny bottom.
"Heyyyyyy!" I complained.
"You should have called me to tell me what was going on," Cowboy said and delivered another smack.
"No peach cobbler!" I yelled.
"Is that so?" he said in that scary voice.
Oy.
"Going to tell Bull and Patrick you spanked me for NOTHING!"
"No, you're not," the president of Neanderthals R Us said.
"Since when do ponies in the backyard constitute putting my health or safety in jeopardy?"
"My health," the Neanderthal replied. "My mental health."
"Not fair!" I protested as I stared at the carpet. Hmmm, need to get these shampooed. "You're changing the rules. I'm not cooking till you apologize for spanking me."
I am indignant and feeling very put upon at the moment.
"Apologize? For giving you a well-deserved smack? Nope."
...And another smack made contact.
I took a deep breath, grabbed Cowboy's bare leg... and BIT HIM!
A very ugly stream of words followed. Not from me, from HIM. I'm an angel.
"Are you going to apologize?" I asked as he pulled me up and away from his leg.
"Gonna toast your tush, bambina."
"You'd be better off making whoopee instead," I assured him.
"You been reading Winning Through Intimidation again?"
I nodded.
"You win. I apologize. Now kiss me."
The band played on... Later, I made peach cobbler... and spent the day playing with the ponies.
Some days I am so good at this I can't stand it.
~Sar~
Monday, July 02, 2007
Facts & Myths
Fact: Cowboy here.
Fact: The imp finally ran out of steam and is taking a much needed nap. She's been cooking/baking nonstop since Bull arrived. The meals are out of this world but she needs to slow down, do less and rest more.
Fact: Rain + sunshine = rain.
Fact: Light rain + sunshine = rain.
Myth: Sunshine + any kind of rain does NOT = no rain. I had to chase her down to get her out of the rain.
Fact: She's been sneezing since she went out into the *no rain* to romp with the pups.
Myth: My hand warming the imp's backside. Wanna bet?
Fact: My hand warming the imp's backside.
Myth: Sar agreeing she deserved a hot tush.
Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.
Fact: Tossed her over my shoulder and got on the scale. Put her down to weigh myself. Subtracted the difference. She's down 4 pounds she can't afford to lose.
Fact: My wife needs to gain weight, eat more calories and do less.
Fact: Told Bull to make sure she doesn't jog the regular 5 miles every day; 2 miles is plenty.
Myth: Sar readily agreed, then searched online for a few pigs that fly.
Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.
Fact: We have a major anniversary coming up this summer. Thinking about taking the imp to Europe as soon as I re-arrange my schedule.
Fact: Last time we were there, she went off on her own while I was on a conference call and got lost in the hill country in northern Italy. Eventually she called to ask me to come get her, I said where are you? Sar's response: I'm lost, it's hilly and everybody's speaking Italian.
Fact: Found her, warmed that little tush for a/leaving; b/scaring the hell out of me; c/because it made *me* feel better.
Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.
Myth: She's leaving me.
Fact: Medical appointment coming up. Sar has to go in every 3 months - she has intestinal concerns. The appointments keep us ahead of any problems that might crop up. Her high metabolic rate needs monitoring and the meds regulated to keep her healthy.
Fact: As soon as the imp's name appears on the schedule, lab techs put in for vacation. Medics too. Only the nurses seem to get a big kick out of those visits.
Myth: She sends food baskets to the nurses to ensure their cooperation. This actually might be factual. Bribing is an effective strategy.
Fact: A few years ago while I was at sea, Sar was in a serious accident, David took her to the hospital and stayed until she was stable. He said your wife can really kick ass. Uncertain whether I should be proud or remind myself to toast her butt after I got back.
Fact: The dogs were whining outside the bedroom door trying to worm their way in so they could be near the imp. She was asleep. Had to move her to the downstairs couch so they could check up on her every 30 seconds.
Myth: Sar will continue to nap/rest on the couch after I leave the house.
Fact: She'll use food to bribe Bull into letting her get up.
Fact: I will bust her bottom the second she gets off that couch.
Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.
Fact: Almost certain there's no peach cobbler on the immediate horizon.
Cowboy
Fact: The imp finally ran out of steam and is taking a much needed nap. She's been cooking/baking nonstop since Bull arrived. The meals are out of this world but she needs to slow down, do less and rest more.
Fact: Rain + sunshine = rain.
Fact: Light rain + sunshine = rain.
Myth: Sunshine + any kind of rain does NOT = no rain. I had to chase her down to get her out of the rain.
Fact: She's been sneezing since she went out into the *no rain* to romp with the pups.
Myth: My hand warming the imp's backside. Wanna bet?
Fact: My hand warming the imp's backside.
Myth: Sar agreeing she deserved a hot tush.
Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.
Fact: Tossed her over my shoulder and got on the scale. Put her down to weigh myself. Subtracted the difference. She's down 4 pounds she can't afford to lose.
Fact: My wife needs to gain weight, eat more calories and do less.
Fact: Told Bull to make sure she doesn't jog the regular 5 miles every day; 2 miles is plenty.
Myth: Sar readily agreed, then searched online for a few pigs that fly.
Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.
Fact: We have a major anniversary coming up this summer. Thinking about taking the imp to Europe as soon as I re-arrange my schedule.
Fact: Last time we were there, she went off on her own while I was on a conference call and got lost in the hill country in northern Italy. Eventually she called to ask me to come get her, I said where are you? Sar's response: I'm lost, it's hilly and everybody's speaking Italian.
Fact: Found her, warmed that little tush for a/leaving; b/scaring the hell out of me; c/because it made *me* feel better.
Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.
Myth: She's leaving me.
Fact: Medical appointment coming up. Sar has to go in every 3 months - she has intestinal concerns. The appointments keep us ahead of any problems that might crop up. Her high metabolic rate needs monitoring and the meds regulated to keep her healthy.
Fact: As soon as the imp's name appears on the schedule, lab techs put in for vacation. Medics too. Only the nurses seem to get a big kick out of those visits.
Myth: She sends food baskets to the nurses to ensure their cooperation. This actually might be factual. Bribing is an effective strategy.
Fact: A few years ago while I was at sea, Sar was in a serious accident, David took her to the hospital and stayed until she was stable. He said your wife can really kick ass. Uncertain whether I should be proud or remind myself to toast her butt after I got back.
Fact: The dogs were whining outside the bedroom door trying to worm their way in so they could be near the imp. She was asleep. Had to move her to the downstairs couch so they could check up on her every 30 seconds.
Myth: Sar will continue to nap/rest on the couch after I leave the house.
Fact: She'll use food to bribe Bull into letting her get up.
Fact: I will bust her bottom the second she gets off that couch.
Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.
Fact: Almost certain there's no peach cobbler on the immediate horizon.
Cowboy
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Mea Culpa Redux!
I opened an email from a "reader" last night. She wanted to know "what the hell was going on in my life" and was I so busy, I couldn't stop what I was doing and drop everyone a line?
Well... on the index page on my web site, the blog *is* listed as "Sar's Occasional Blog," occasional being the operative word. Some day I'm going to post two days in a row and shock everyone that reads here.
Life has been busy and for the most part, really upbeat. Bull is HOME! If you're on the "announce list," you get an email from me when I post a new story to the site so some of you already know that Bull is finally home from an 18-month deployment. I've missed the big lug something awful and am gratified he's home and safe and in one piece. He hasn't stopped eating... I actually was relieved when he finally took a nap the other day. It meant I could get out of the kitchen for a couple of hours. That boy has an endless appetite.
Bull's mama and sisters arrived yesterday to spend a few days with us. Lovely family and lucky ME! Bull's mama is gonna teach me how to make "possum pie." Oye! I told Cowboy he has to drive up some of the rural roads at night and find some road kill to bring home... Cowboy's response was not terribly polite. Tsk.
Hadrian, the Neapolitan Mastiff we've been fostering has passed his obedience trials! Hurray! That animal is currently weighing in about 180-lbs. (close to 13 stone) and still growing. Hard to believe any dog is bigger than BullyBoy but he is. He'll need a strong personality to keep him in line but other than being a lazy son of a gun, he's a very sweet and loving animal. Neo's are generally one owner type dogs, extraordinarily protective and picky about who gets to visit their master. If he goes to a family with children, he'll be a better guardian than the Secret Service. Best of all, he's not a picky eater.
"I don't suppose you'd like to keep Hadrian?" I asked the giant squid.
"You suppose right."
Tsk.
"David could use a big watchdog at his house. His housekeeper would have a companion when he's away."
"You already gave him a giant tortoise," was the reply.
"A tortoise doesn't qualify as a watchdog."
"Someone sneaks onto his deck in the middle of the night and encounters that sea monster isn't a deterrent?"
"Only if they're carrying Twinkies."
SWAT!
Tsk.
"What about Bull? I bet Bull would love to have Hadrian."
"Bull is living with us when he's not on base so the dog would be here."
"And your point?"
SWAT!
I thought so. Tsk.
My neighbor, MsHairUpHerAss has been away visiting her "born again" daughter somewhere in the middle of the United States. She always comes back filled with lofty ideas about how I should live my life. I don't have any feelings one way or the other about her beliefs; I just don't want her spouting them to me. I told her if she can't keep those thoughts to herself I'd organize a Wicca ceremony on her front lawn at the next full moon. All the Wiccans would be nude and they'd chant so loud that the entire neighborhood would come over to see what MsHairUpHerAss had going on at her house.
She complained to Cowboy.
His response was that he was glad it wasn't going to take place at our house but he was willing to call the media to cover the event. This didn't stop him from delivering a couple of swats to *my* backside.
Double tsk.
Come to think of it, Peeper Patterson, another close neighbor, has a "born again" daughter who also resides in the middle of the U.S. ... Hmmm...
Speaking of neighbors... did I mention that MsKeptWoman had a falling out with her sugar daddy? He's a European businessman who visits the U.S. about once a month. While he's here, he spends a few days with MsKeptWoman who lives in a very nice house that he purchased for her. I don't know the details of their financial arrangements but I do know that he provides well for her and for the most part, she's free to do "her own thing" as long as she's home when he arrives. Welllll... she recently had a milestone birthday and is feeling o-l-d and washed up. I told her o-l-d is what the giant squid is and she had a long ways to go to catch up with him. I even told her she could out-jog him.
So... the three of us were jogging the other day and she mentioned that tiny little fact to Cowboy. For some reason, he took exception to that.
SWAT!
Tsk. I won't be telling her anything important in the future.
For those of YOU who complained about the recipe section, I finally got around to posting "peachy" things. Take a look.
~Sar~
Well... on the index page on my web site, the blog *is* listed as "Sar's Occasional Blog," occasional being the operative word. Some day I'm going to post two days in a row and shock everyone that reads here.
Life has been busy and for the most part, really upbeat. Bull is HOME! If you're on the "announce list," you get an email from me when I post a new story to the site so some of you already know that Bull is finally home from an 18-month deployment. I've missed the big lug something awful and am gratified he's home and safe and in one piece. He hasn't stopped eating... I actually was relieved when he finally took a nap the other day. It meant I could get out of the kitchen for a couple of hours. That boy has an endless appetite.
Bull's mama and sisters arrived yesterday to spend a few days with us. Lovely family and lucky ME! Bull's mama is gonna teach me how to make "possum pie." Oye! I told Cowboy he has to drive up some of the rural roads at night and find some road kill to bring home... Cowboy's response was not terribly polite. Tsk.
Hadrian, the Neapolitan Mastiff we've been fostering has passed his obedience trials! Hurray! That animal is currently weighing in about 180-lbs. (close to 13 stone) and still growing. Hard to believe any dog is bigger than BullyBoy but he is. He'll need a strong personality to keep him in line but other than being a lazy son of a gun, he's a very sweet and loving animal. Neo's are generally one owner type dogs, extraordinarily protective and picky about who gets to visit their master. If he goes to a family with children, he'll be a better guardian than the Secret Service. Best of all, he's not a picky eater.
"I don't suppose you'd like to keep Hadrian?" I asked the giant squid.
"You suppose right."
Tsk.
"David could use a big watchdog at his house. His housekeeper would have a companion when he's away."
"You already gave him a giant tortoise," was the reply.
"A tortoise doesn't qualify as a watchdog."
"Someone sneaks onto his deck in the middle of the night and encounters that sea monster isn't a deterrent?"
"Only if they're carrying Twinkies."
SWAT!
Tsk.
"What about Bull? I bet Bull would love to have Hadrian."
"Bull is living with us when he's not on base so the dog would be here."
"And your point?"
SWAT!
I thought so. Tsk.
My neighbor, MsHairUpHerAss has been away visiting her "born again" daughter somewhere in the middle of the United States. She always comes back filled with lofty ideas about how I should live my life. I don't have any feelings one way or the other about her beliefs; I just don't want her spouting them to me. I told her if she can't keep those thoughts to herself I'd organize a Wicca ceremony on her front lawn at the next full moon. All the Wiccans would be nude and they'd chant so loud that the entire neighborhood would come over to see what MsHairUpHerAss had going on at her house.
She complained to Cowboy.
His response was that he was glad it wasn't going to take place at our house but he was willing to call the media to cover the event. This didn't stop him from delivering a couple of swats to *my* backside.
Double tsk.
Come to think of it, Peeper Patterson, another close neighbor, has a "born again" daughter who also resides in the middle of the U.S. ... Hmmm...
Speaking of neighbors... did I mention that MsKeptWoman had a falling out with her sugar daddy? He's a European businessman who visits the U.S. about once a month. While he's here, he spends a few days with MsKeptWoman who lives in a very nice house that he purchased for her. I don't know the details of their financial arrangements but I do know that he provides well for her and for the most part, she's free to do "her own thing" as long as she's home when he arrives. Welllll... she recently had a milestone birthday and is feeling o-l-d and washed up. I told her o-l-d is what the giant squid is and she had a long ways to go to catch up with him. I even told her she could out-jog him.
So... the three of us were jogging the other day and she mentioned that tiny little fact to Cowboy. For some reason, he took exception to that.
SWAT!
Tsk. I won't be telling her anything important in the future.
For those of YOU who complained about the recipe section, I finally got around to posting "peachy" things. Take a look.
~Sar~
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Did It All!
We're home again. Had the very best time in San Diego and again, in New Orleans. I see Cowboy told you about San Diego - what a super place to visit. We've been there a few times over the years; the Pacific is beautiful there, very different from the views up here and they have two outstanding zoos. I could get lost there... putting that on the "back burner" for a future adventure. (I got locked into a zoo once... I fell asleep and when I woke up, the place was dark. I knew I could find a zookeeper and get out but the thought that I could walk around and see the animals at night was too intriguing to miss. Naturally, the giant squid had other thoughts... stalkers, etc and when I didn't come home at the appointed time, he "rescued" me from myself. The details of that event are murky... I was totally INNOCENT and he spanked me anyway. The man has NO couth.)
We flew home, repacked and went down to New Orleans. Alli and her husband and four boys met us there along with Max and Vi and Glory. 'Twas glorious!
We stayed with Max's family in the Garden District. Rode the trolley! Ate royally! And Alli and I gave the giant squid and her husband, Paul a run for their money! Shopped here... ate there... ran amok. Drank enough chicory coffee to sink a ship and ate so many beignets I actually gained 2 pounds. Had the *best* time!
Cowboy and Paul got lost in the "train" shop on Jackson Square. All the little boys go there...
SWAT!
Laughing softly...
Alli and I, along with Vi and Glory, went to one of the Mardi Gras shops. We tried on masks and strings and strings of beads. Bought a few of each. Thinking about wearing a mask and beads and my birthday suit the next time the giant squid gets perky.
SWAT!
LOL! I meant, next time the giant squid gets frisky.
SWAT!
LOL!
We celebrated Cowboy's birthday in New Orleans. Max arranged for a jazz band - some of those musicians play regularly at Preservation Hall so they were really the BEST. They went from "When the Saints" right into "Happy Birthday" and the big lug actually blushed. We had cake and pie and about 50 folks. I did an impromptu jazzy dance number and after a few Hurricane drinks, the squid did a really wicked limbo dance. Naturally, I took pics of that event. Naturally I took crotch shots.
SWAT!
~Grinning~
After the guests left - 2 were passed out on the floor and stayed for breakfast... Cowboy and I retired to the guestroom we were staying in. He decided it was time for me to have his birthday spanking. I agreed provided it was a sweet one. He didn't make any promises so I got the hell out of Dodge and went back to the kitchen where I tried to eat the rest of the birthday cake. I couldn't help myself - it was German Chocolate!
He caught up with me and with me under one arm - making wild inferences about his parentage - and the rest of the birthday cake in his other hand - we made it back to the bedroom where the cake and the birthday spanking sort of got mixed together. The man is soooooooo o-l-d he can't remember how many swats he delivered - kept losing count - I finally threatened to post his "limbo crotch" pics on the Internet. And because I'm a lady I won't repeat what that sailor said.
~Sar~
We flew home, repacked and went down to New Orleans. Alli and her husband and four boys met us there along with Max and Vi and Glory. 'Twas glorious!
We stayed with Max's family in the Garden District. Rode the trolley! Ate royally! And Alli and I gave the giant squid and her husband, Paul a run for their money! Shopped here... ate there... ran amok. Drank enough chicory coffee to sink a ship and ate so many beignets I actually gained 2 pounds. Had the *best* time!
Cowboy and Paul got lost in the "train" shop on Jackson Square. All the little boys go there...
SWAT!
Laughing softly...
Alli and I, along with Vi and Glory, went to one of the Mardi Gras shops. We tried on masks and strings and strings of beads. Bought a few of each. Thinking about wearing a mask and beads and my birthday suit the next time the giant squid gets perky.
SWAT!
LOL! I meant, next time the giant squid gets frisky.
SWAT!
LOL!
We celebrated Cowboy's birthday in New Orleans. Max arranged for a jazz band - some of those musicians play regularly at Preservation Hall so they were really the BEST. They went from "When the Saints" right into "Happy Birthday" and the big lug actually blushed. We had cake and pie and about 50 folks. I did an impromptu jazzy dance number and after a few Hurricane drinks, the squid did a really wicked limbo dance. Naturally, I took pics of that event. Naturally I took crotch shots.
SWAT!
~Grinning~
After the guests left - 2 were passed out on the floor and stayed for breakfast... Cowboy and I retired to the guestroom we were staying in. He decided it was time for me to have his birthday spanking. I agreed provided it was a sweet one. He didn't make any promises so I got the hell out of Dodge and went back to the kitchen where I tried to eat the rest of the birthday cake. I couldn't help myself - it was German Chocolate!
He caught up with me and with me under one arm - making wild inferences about his parentage - and the rest of the birthday cake in his other hand - we made it back to the bedroom where the cake and the birthday spanking sort of got mixed together. The man is soooooooo o-l-d he can't remember how many swats he delivered - kept losing count - I finally threatened to post his "limbo crotch" pics on the Internet. And because I'm a lady I won't repeat what that sailor said.
~Sar~
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Sar: Food and Animals
Cowboy here. Writing this while the imp sleeps; hope to post it before she wakes. We're in San Diego for a few days. Flew down to attend Memorial Day ceremonies - always a moving event - especially on a military base. Plan to stick around a day or 2 afterwards so I can take Sar out to Balboa Park where there is a "large animal" zoo.
We went to the regular San Diego zoo yesterday - Sar was in 7th heaven - animals and junk food and a lot to see. A must-see stop is the area set aside for children so my wife can pet anything and everything. Her eyes go all wide the minute she sees the animals she'd like to take home. Because nothing is beyond her-- I accompany her so she's not arrested for theft or comes home with a creature nobody in their right mind would have as a pet. At one point I was forced to hold a corn dog and a soft drink while the imp consumed an ice cream bar followed by a giant cookie. Yeah, I know. I paid for all that crap but nevertheless--
Taking Sar to the zoo is similar to leading a class of grade school kids around. The imp is everywhere at once, ignores my admonitions, wants to eat from all the concessions and makes sounds of pure joy when she sees the various exhibits. Frankly, those sounds are best left to the privacy of our bedroom. Pure joy is what it's all about so when it comes to my wife's joy, I like to indulge her. Exception is bringing home another animal-- in particular, a wild one.
Last night we attended a formal military affair. Dress whites for me, a ball gown for mia amore. She was the most beautiful woman there. The minute we hit the dance floor, others cut in. No respect for rank either. Naturally I cut back in and only conceded to let a few close friends have that honor. She danced almost every dance. The evening event was enjoyable for both of us.
When we leave, we're headed home for a day to regroup, check on the house and animals. A couple is house sitting, feeding the menagerie. A bit of last minute packing, then it's off to New Orleans. Sar's "family" is flying in from Chicago. Her oldest closest friend and family are also joining us. As much as she wants to be with them I'm betting the imp is more excited about chicory coffee, beignets and all that rich "Nawlins" food. Trust me. I know my wife. Food is a high priority.
She also wants to ride the trolley, take a paddleboat ride, get her picture drawn at one of those artist stands on Jackson Square and ride in a horse drawn carriage. You'd think she was a tourist but she spent a month or more there every year as a kid living with Max and his ladies. Sar and Alli are bound to get into mischief-- Again, I need to accompany them to make sure they don't get arrested.
One of us will keep you posted. "Days of our lives" with the imp are never boring. If she complains about a swat or 2, you can be sure it was well deserved.
Cowboy
We went to the regular San Diego zoo yesterday - Sar was in 7th heaven - animals and junk food and a lot to see. A must-see stop is the area set aside for children so my wife can pet anything and everything. Her eyes go all wide the minute she sees the animals she'd like to take home. Because nothing is beyond her-- I accompany her so she's not arrested for theft or comes home with a creature nobody in their right mind would have as a pet. At one point I was forced to hold a corn dog and a soft drink while the imp consumed an ice cream bar followed by a giant cookie. Yeah, I know. I paid for all that crap but nevertheless--
Taking Sar to the zoo is similar to leading a class of grade school kids around. The imp is everywhere at once, ignores my admonitions, wants to eat from all the concessions and makes sounds of pure joy when she sees the various exhibits. Frankly, those sounds are best left to the privacy of our bedroom. Pure joy is what it's all about so when it comes to my wife's joy, I like to indulge her. Exception is bringing home another animal-- in particular, a wild one.
Last night we attended a formal military affair. Dress whites for me, a ball gown for mia amore. She was the most beautiful woman there. The minute we hit the dance floor, others cut in. No respect for rank either. Naturally I cut back in and only conceded to let a few close friends have that honor. She danced almost every dance. The evening event was enjoyable for both of us.
When we leave, we're headed home for a day to regroup, check on the house and animals. A couple is house sitting, feeding the menagerie. A bit of last minute packing, then it's off to New Orleans. Sar's "family" is flying in from Chicago. Her oldest closest friend and family are also joining us. As much as she wants to be with them I'm betting the imp is more excited about chicory coffee, beignets and all that rich "Nawlins" food. Trust me. I know my wife. Food is a high priority.
She also wants to ride the trolley, take a paddleboat ride, get her picture drawn at one of those artist stands on Jackson Square and ride in a horse drawn carriage. You'd think she was a tourist but she spent a month or more there every year as a kid living with Max and his ladies. Sar and Alli are bound to get into mischief-- Again, I need to accompany them to make sure they don't get arrested.
One of us will keep you posted. "Days of our lives" with the imp are never boring. If she complains about a swat or 2, you can be sure it was well deserved.
Cowboy
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Hello!
Did you think I'd forgotten you? Been busy and probably doing too much but sometimes, life is like a drug. I can't stop doing! The freezer is full again, everything is spick and span and the yard is shaping up beautifully. Friends have been over for dinner, the dogs and cats are well and even the new pup, Hadrian, the Neapolitan Mastiff, is starting to behave like a dog that's had a little training.
The caveman I married, however...
"What are you doing imp?"
"Reading a book," I reply sweetly.
"That better be a novel," he yells from downstairs, "and not a 'how-to' by Harry Houdini."
I like to have an escape route planned in advance just in case I need to get out of Dodge in a hurry.
"We're going over to the Simmons' place for drinks later. I want you to be polite to Maddie Simmons."
"Uh huh."
"I mean it, babe," he says, his voice getting closer. (He must be coming up the stairs.)
Maddie Simmons is a repressed suffragette. When she lived in the "deep South," she was president of the local chapter of "Daughters of the American Revolution" and she named her own daughter Susan B in honor of Susan B. Anthony. I don't know the correlation between Susan B and the American Revolution, but no matter. She's a kook. She once asked if I wanted to join the temperance union... I think the lady has been sniffing too much aerosol spray.
"And wear a dress," Mr. Manners orders as he comes up behind me.
"Of course," I agree. I've got tight leather tap pants. I'll put a raincoat over them and Cowboy won't notice. Then, when I take the raincoat off, Maddie Simmons might faint and I won't have to endure her for very long. Her husband, an uptight deacon in his church, might have cardiac arrest. Oh goody! Two birds with one stone.
"And don't do anything funny!" Cowboy adds, picks me up by the waist and gives me a swat and then drops me back in my chair.
I hasten to cover up my Houdini book.
Moving right along...
I was away for a few days - in St. Louis - at a textile show. Asked a close friend from Chicago to meet me and come along for company. She can't sew and would kill herself if she picked up a needle but she's great fun to be with i.e., loves to eat, doesn't worry about calories and is a better kick boxer than I am. Cowboy called after we were there only 2 days to mention that the credit card company informed him that his credit card was smoking. Tsk. I switched to his other card.
When I got back I noticed that Hadrian, the Neo beastie seemed to have gained a LOT of weight while I was gone. I counted all the dogs and cats and checked to make sure all the neighborhood kids were still alive and kicking. That dog has an enormous appetite! He was so happy to see me he slobbered all over my shoes. I was happy to see him, too but the shoes are a total washout. I have to teach him to keep his head down while eating and drinking... that should reduce the slobber.
Met up with friends I have coffee with twice a week. We take turns hosting it at our homes. The last one was at the home of Patrick's girl friends house. Her mother is my friend; her daughter is Missy, the 7-year old hussy who has her eyes on my 9-year old Patrick. (Patrick has his own mother but I consider him mine.) I brought Key Lime pie - 6 of them. All four of us ate all six pies. 'Twas truly wonderful and I was too full to eat the takeout Cowboy brought home for dinner... eggplant parmesian...
SWAT!
"You filled up on junk food, didn't you?" the Neanderthal muttered when I concentrated on garlic bread and wine instead of that purple stuff.
Key Lime pie is not junk food but I chose not to mention that.
SWAT!
Tsk.
There are new folks in our neighborhood. I'm guessing that the cat that is serenading us on our fence at night belongs to them. My female cat has been neutered; the male cat is desperate to get out there and beat the beejeesus out of that feline interloper. And Tank and Panda, the outside Rotts keep standing on their hind paws trying to reach the noisy critter; they're always interested in a snack.
I think the cat is not long for this world - it's spring and the coyotes are out and hungry.
"You should tell those neighbors about their cat," Cowboy suggests while we listened to its song.
"Why? It's singing off key," I remarked.
SWAT!
My husband has lost his sense of humor.
David has deployed again. He says it will be a short trip, just a few weeks. Crossing my fingers on that one. I packed some snacks for him and he had the gall to say "behave" while I'm gone. Sure.
Okey dokey, have to go try on those tap pants for the visit to the Simmons'. Good thing I read that Houdini book. When Cowboy sees them I'm going to need that escape route.
~Sar~
The caveman I married, however...
"What are you doing imp?"
"Reading a book," I reply sweetly.
"That better be a novel," he yells from downstairs, "and not a 'how-to' by Harry Houdini."
I like to have an escape route planned in advance just in case I need to get out of Dodge in a hurry.
"We're going over to the Simmons' place for drinks later. I want you to be polite to Maddie Simmons."
"Uh huh."
"I mean it, babe," he says, his voice getting closer. (He must be coming up the stairs.)
Maddie Simmons is a repressed suffragette. When she lived in the "deep South," she was president of the local chapter of "Daughters of the American Revolution" and she named her own daughter Susan B in honor of Susan B. Anthony. I don't know the correlation between Susan B and the American Revolution, but no matter. She's a kook. She once asked if I wanted to join the temperance union... I think the lady has been sniffing too much aerosol spray.
"And wear a dress," Mr. Manners orders as he comes up behind me.
"Of course," I agree. I've got tight leather tap pants. I'll put a raincoat over them and Cowboy won't notice. Then, when I take the raincoat off, Maddie Simmons might faint and I won't have to endure her for very long. Her husband, an uptight deacon in his church, might have cardiac arrest. Oh goody! Two birds with one stone.
"And don't do anything funny!" Cowboy adds, picks me up by the waist and gives me a swat and then drops me back in my chair.
I hasten to cover up my Houdini book.
Moving right along...
I was away for a few days - in St. Louis - at a textile show. Asked a close friend from Chicago to meet me and come along for company. She can't sew and would kill herself if she picked up a needle but she's great fun to be with i.e., loves to eat, doesn't worry about calories and is a better kick boxer than I am. Cowboy called after we were there only 2 days to mention that the credit card company informed him that his credit card was smoking. Tsk. I switched to his other card.
When I got back I noticed that Hadrian, the Neo beastie seemed to have gained a LOT of weight while I was gone. I counted all the dogs and cats and checked to make sure all the neighborhood kids were still alive and kicking. That dog has an enormous appetite! He was so happy to see me he slobbered all over my shoes. I was happy to see him, too but the shoes are a total washout. I have to teach him to keep his head down while eating and drinking... that should reduce the slobber.
Met up with friends I have coffee with twice a week. We take turns hosting it at our homes. The last one was at the home of Patrick's girl friends house. Her mother is my friend; her daughter is Missy, the 7-year old hussy who has her eyes on my 9-year old Patrick. (Patrick has his own mother but I consider him mine.) I brought Key Lime pie - 6 of them. All four of us ate all six pies. 'Twas truly wonderful and I was too full to eat the takeout Cowboy brought home for dinner... eggplant parmesian...
SWAT!
"You filled up on junk food, didn't you?" the Neanderthal muttered when I concentrated on garlic bread and wine instead of that purple stuff.
Key Lime pie is not junk food but I chose not to mention that.
SWAT!
Tsk.
There are new folks in our neighborhood. I'm guessing that the cat that is serenading us on our fence at night belongs to them. My female cat has been neutered; the male cat is desperate to get out there and beat the beejeesus out of that feline interloper. And Tank and Panda, the outside Rotts keep standing on their hind paws trying to reach the noisy critter; they're always interested in a snack.
I think the cat is not long for this world - it's spring and the coyotes are out and hungry.
"You should tell those neighbors about their cat," Cowboy suggests while we listened to its song.
"Why? It's singing off key," I remarked.
SWAT!
My husband has lost his sense of humor.
David has deployed again. He says it will be a short trip, just a few weeks. Crossing my fingers on that one. I packed some snacks for him and he had the gall to say "behave" while I'm gone. Sure.
Okey dokey, have to go try on those tap pants for the visit to the Simmons'. Good thing I read that Houdini book. When Cowboy sees them I'm going to need that escape route.
~Sar~
Friday, May 11, 2007
Monsters
Had a really bad dream the other night - nightmare level. It was a dream I had over and over when I was a kid - monsters under the bed kinda dream. The thing about monsters under the bed is that you don't know what they look like but they have long hairy arms and big hairy paw-like hands that can grab your ankles if you get up in the middle of the night and sit on the side of the bed. They get a hold of your ankles and pull you under the bed and nobody ever sees you again.
Soooo I wake up thinking bathroom break and a middle of the night snack are in order. I sit up and slide over to the side of the bed opposite from where the giant squid is sleeping. I put my feet on the floor and suddenly remember the monsters and leap back into bed before they grab me. Multiple monsters = multiple hairy paw-like hands grabbing at my ankles.
The Neanderthal I share a bed with wants to know what the problem is. I tell him and he laughs. He laughs! I'm about to wet my pants and he's laughing.
I tell him he has to pick me up and set me down several feet from the bed.
He's still laughing.
"This is not funny. If you don't pick me up I'm going to have to jump out of bed far enough so that the monsters don't get me. I could break a leg."
"What do you do if you have that nightmare when I'm out of town?"
"The dogs sleep in the bedroom. Dogs = no monsters."
"You aren't worried the monsters will grab *my* ankles?" Mr. Smarty Pants asks.
"Oh puleeze! Monsters don't want to eat giant squids. Everybody knows they want tasty females."
"What do I get for doing this?"
"You get a wet bed if you don't!"
Tsk. I got a swat and then he picked me up and set me down in front of the bathroom door. I thought about leaping onto the bed after I had my snack but the giant squid did one of those over-the-shoulder holds and took me downstairs so he could have a snack too. Unfortunately, he was out of couth and he swatted me the whole way down the stairs.
The dogs woke up and went on immediate "food alert" so I gave them snacks, too.
SWAT!
"Don't feed the dogs in the middle of the night, bambina."
Tsk
When we went back upstairs, SweetPea blustered his way into the bedroom and immediately stuck his nose under the bed!
I knew it! Something was under my bed!
Cowboy deposited me in the middle of the bed and got down on his hands and knees and looked under it with a flashlight. I told him how brave he was but then I remembered he was a Seal and a fearsome warrior.
He snorted when I said that and he was on his hands and knees and his butt was accessible... I couldn't let that opportunity go by... so I goosed him.
SWAT!
Miss Emmy, the cat, came out from under the bed and hissed and spit at Cowboy. He picked her up by the scruff of her neck and put her on the other side of the bedroom door.
I've thought about hissing and spitting at him myself a time or two. I have a feeling it wouldn't be my neck that would be in jeopardy.
"See! No monsters," he said when he got back in bed.
Miss Emmy isn't a monster but she *is* an ankle grabber.
"You saved me," I told him and hugged him tight. "But just in case... the monsters' arms come sneaking out from under the bed and poke around looking for me, I'm going to sleep on top of you tonight."
"Bambina, you only sleep on top of me when your tush is too sore for you to sleep on your back."
"I'm making an exception," I told him sweetly.
"I veto the exception," the Neanderthal said much too calmly and gave me a couple of really hard swats.
Tsk
"Okay, not sleeping on top of you, you big lug. But if the monsters get me, there's no sex for you ever again! No peach cobbler, either," I added.
He pulled me on top of him and I slept there all night.
~Sar~
Soooo I wake up thinking bathroom break and a middle of the night snack are in order. I sit up and slide over to the side of the bed opposite from where the giant squid is sleeping. I put my feet on the floor and suddenly remember the monsters and leap back into bed before they grab me. Multiple monsters = multiple hairy paw-like hands grabbing at my ankles.
The Neanderthal I share a bed with wants to know what the problem is. I tell him and he laughs. He laughs! I'm about to wet my pants and he's laughing.
I tell him he has to pick me up and set me down several feet from the bed.
He's still laughing.
"This is not funny. If you don't pick me up I'm going to have to jump out of bed far enough so that the monsters don't get me. I could break a leg."
"What do you do if you have that nightmare when I'm out of town?"
"The dogs sleep in the bedroom. Dogs = no monsters."
"You aren't worried the monsters will grab *my* ankles?" Mr. Smarty Pants asks.
"Oh puleeze! Monsters don't want to eat giant squids. Everybody knows they want tasty females."
"What do I get for doing this?"
"You get a wet bed if you don't!"
Tsk. I got a swat and then he picked me up and set me down in front of the bathroom door. I thought about leaping onto the bed after I had my snack but the giant squid did one of those over-the-shoulder holds and took me downstairs so he could have a snack too. Unfortunately, he was out of couth and he swatted me the whole way down the stairs.
The dogs woke up and went on immediate "food alert" so I gave them snacks, too.
SWAT!
"Don't feed the dogs in the middle of the night, bambina."
Tsk
When we went back upstairs, SweetPea blustered his way into the bedroom and immediately stuck his nose under the bed!
I knew it! Something was under my bed!
Cowboy deposited me in the middle of the bed and got down on his hands and knees and looked under it with a flashlight. I told him how brave he was but then I remembered he was a Seal and a fearsome warrior.
He snorted when I said that and he was on his hands and knees and his butt was accessible... I couldn't let that opportunity go by... so I goosed him.
SWAT!
Miss Emmy, the cat, came out from under the bed and hissed and spit at Cowboy. He picked her up by the scruff of her neck and put her on the other side of the bedroom door.
I've thought about hissing and spitting at him myself a time or two. I have a feeling it wouldn't be my neck that would be in jeopardy.
"See! No monsters," he said when he got back in bed.
Miss Emmy isn't a monster but she *is* an ankle grabber.
"You saved me," I told him and hugged him tight. "But just in case... the monsters' arms come sneaking out from under the bed and poke around looking for me, I'm going to sleep on top of you tonight."
"Bambina, you only sleep on top of me when your tush is too sore for you to sleep on your back."
"I'm making an exception," I told him sweetly.
"I veto the exception," the Neanderthal said much too calmly and gave me a couple of really hard swats.
Tsk
"Okay, not sleeping on top of you, you big lug. But if the monsters get me, there's no sex for you ever again! No peach cobbler, either," I added.
He pulled me on top of him and I slept there all night.
~Sar~
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Spring Stuff
Cowboy here. Sar's living in the fast lane again, something she tends to do on a regular basis unless I have a hold of her. I don't know what it is about spring but my wife is energized and all of us are affected.
She's cleaning. Folks-- we have animals in the house - 2 dogs, 2 cats - the other dogs are rarely in the house. Sar cleans some part of the house every day. I bought a robot vacuum for the upstairs. I hired a service to wash the windows and screens. The rugs are professionally cleaned several times a year; she still cleans something every day. Spring cleaning is not necessary.
When I threatened to warm that cute little butt if she didn't slow down, she went from cleaning to cleaning out. All the closets and bureaus have had their inventories cut, reorganized and some sweet smelling thing was added to most of them. I double checked to make sure she didn't put that thing in my things.
I have lost old and favorite shirts, sweats, socks as well as a few belts. I have lost favorite running shoes, ties and sweaters. I have put a double lock - electronic dead bolts - on my office door in case she gets some crazy idea about the old pistols and shotguns in my collection. I have posted *don't touch* signs on my tool chests.
My wife has brass. You knew that. After all was packed for the giveaway - her things included - she told me to drop everything off at a family shelter. I didn't want to lose those things; now I have to deliver them too. I sorted through the boxes, pulled a few things out that I don't plan to donate at this time. When Sar saw what I did, she stood on a chair - to be taller than me - and lectured. Did a decent impression of one of my old drill instructors too.
Yeah, I laughed. Applied a few swats. Hugged the stuffin out of her. Then put those things back where they belonged - in my closet etc.
Cleaning the house gave way to cooking and baking again. There's various soups, her famous apple cakes, a variety of cookies, brownies, tarts, several Italian dishes - braciole, lasagna, osa buca, pastas. Unfortunately peach cobbler isn't on the menu yet.
The dogs are getting nervous. The yard and kennels are next.
She's had long days at the university, teaching seminars on the textile arts. I know she enjoys these but a lot of energy is expended doing this and they wear her out. I won't let her drive there any more - I chauffeur her back and forth because Sar is generally asleep on the way home.
Today she is reorganizing her studio; there are vast quantities of materials - fabrics, fibers, threads - in the upstairs hallway, on the landing, and in the guestroom. The cats are happy about this, inspecting everything and napping in various places. The dogs have sniffed, sneezed and claimed several piles as their own. At one point I couldn't find Sar, then spotted her asleep in the middle of the chaos. Was tempted to lay down beside her and let nature take its course but knew I couldn't get rid of the curious dogs if I did that.
For those who have emailed to ask about new stories, Sar is writing a bit. She writes when she can. When she reads it over a lot of it is deleted or edited down to a few sentences. It will probably be another month or so - when the world has been Lysol-ed, polished, and reorganized before she can concentrate on new characters and plots. I may have to tie her to the bed to make her slow down. (Bed tying is another subject I won't get into at this time.)
Cinco de Mayo (5th of May) is coming up. When we lived in Miami it was a city-wide celebration - festivals, parades and good eating. Sar loves holidays and holiday food and invited a bunch of folks for Spanish bean soup, aroz con pollo (chicken & yellow rice,) paella (yellow rice, chicken, shrimp, clams,) media noche (Cuban sandwiches,) moros (black beans & rice) and platinos (fried plaintains.) All delicious foods that will be spread over a 3-day weekend. Spanish style desserts are also on the menu. I forgot to mention May 1 is *dance around the May pole day* which is also "blini day" in our house - blintzes + strawberries and cream. Dancing + eating = a very excited imp.
The downside to the preparations is that Sar is a little more tired than usual. But, in addition to the good food and holiday company, the upside is that Sar sleeps better. For someone who has chronic insomnia, this is good. I'm known as Mr. Worry Wart which is part of my job. I take that job seriously. So against her wishes, I'll take my wife in for a thorough checkup in a few weeks. Having been there, done that on several occasions, I plan to stay in the exam room to make sure Sar gets the necessary tests and that the medics don't get too many cuts and bruises. It's a duck shoot no matter how you look at it.
We're fostering a Neapolitan Mastiff pup. The animal's about the size of a Shetland pony and gaining weight every day. It eats anything and everything. It's starting to obey Sar, ignores everyone else. Does that remind you of someone? It drools on the cats so it's not all bad.
Cowboy
She's cleaning. Folks-- we have animals in the house - 2 dogs, 2 cats - the other dogs are rarely in the house. Sar cleans some part of the house every day. I bought a robot vacuum for the upstairs. I hired a service to wash the windows and screens. The rugs are professionally cleaned several times a year; she still cleans something every day. Spring cleaning is not necessary.
When I threatened to warm that cute little butt if she didn't slow down, she went from cleaning to cleaning out. All the closets and bureaus have had their inventories cut, reorganized and some sweet smelling thing was added to most of them. I double checked to make sure she didn't put that thing in my things.
I have lost old and favorite shirts, sweats, socks as well as a few belts. I have lost favorite running shoes, ties and sweaters. I have put a double lock - electronic dead bolts - on my office door in case she gets some crazy idea about the old pistols and shotguns in my collection. I have posted *don't touch* signs on my tool chests.
My wife has brass. You knew that. After all was packed for the giveaway - her things included - she told me to drop everything off at a family shelter. I didn't want to lose those things; now I have to deliver them too. I sorted through the boxes, pulled a few things out that I don't plan to donate at this time. When Sar saw what I did, she stood on a chair - to be taller than me - and lectured. Did a decent impression of one of my old drill instructors too.
Yeah, I laughed. Applied a few swats. Hugged the stuffin out of her. Then put those things back where they belonged - in my closet etc.
Cleaning the house gave way to cooking and baking again. There's various soups, her famous apple cakes, a variety of cookies, brownies, tarts, several Italian dishes - braciole, lasagna, osa buca, pastas. Unfortunately peach cobbler isn't on the menu yet.
The dogs are getting nervous. The yard and kennels are next.
She's had long days at the university, teaching seminars on the textile arts. I know she enjoys these but a lot of energy is expended doing this and they wear her out. I won't let her drive there any more - I chauffeur her back and forth because Sar is generally asleep on the way home.
Today she is reorganizing her studio; there are vast quantities of materials - fabrics, fibers, threads - in the upstairs hallway, on the landing, and in the guestroom. The cats are happy about this, inspecting everything and napping in various places. The dogs have sniffed, sneezed and claimed several piles as their own. At one point I couldn't find Sar, then spotted her asleep in the middle of the chaos. Was tempted to lay down beside her and let nature take its course but knew I couldn't get rid of the curious dogs if I did that.
For those who have emailed to ask about new stories, Sar is writing a bit. She writes when she can. When she reads it over a lot of it is deleted or edited down to a few sentences. It will probably be another month or so - when the world has been Lysol-ed, polished, and reorganized before she can concentrate on new characters and plots. I may have to tie her to the bed to make her slow down. (Bed tying is another subject I won't get into at this time.)
Cinco de Mayo (5th of May) is coming up. When we lived in Miami it was a city-wide celebration - festivals, parades and good eating. Sar loves holidays and holiday food and invited a bunch of folks for Spanish bean soup, aroz con pollo (chicken & yellow rice,) paella (yellow rice, chicken, shrimp, clams,) media noche (Cuban sandwiches,) moros (black beans & rice) and platinos (fried plaintains.) All delicious foods that will be spread over a 3-day weekend. Spanish style desserts are also on the menu. I forgot to mention May 1 is *dance around the May pole day* which is also "blini day" in our house - blintzes + strawberries and cream. Dancing + eating = a very excited imp.
The downside to the preparations is that Sar is a little more tired than usual. But, in addition to the good food and holiday company, the upside is that Sar sleeps better. For someone who has chronic insomnia, this is good. I'm known as Mr. Worry Wart which is part of my job. I take that job seriously. So against her wishes, I'll take my wife in for a thorough checkup in a few weeks. Having been there, done that on several occasions, I plan to stay in the exam room to make sure Sar gets the necessary tests and that the medics don't get too many cuts and bruises. It's a duck shoot no matter how you look at it.
We're fostering a Neapolitan Mastiff pup. The animal's about the size of a Shetland pony and gaining weight every day. It eats anything and everything. It's starting to obey Sar, ignores everyone else. Does that remind you of someone? It drools on the cats so it's not all bad.
Cowboy
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