I heard on the news this morning that spinach can KILL you! It's loaded with e coli! Is that the best news for kids all over the world? And me, of course. I'll eat it raw in salads but never cooked. Now I don't have to eat it at all - not ever again! I've been doing the happy dance all morning!
More good news: Ever since the giant squid was a boy - back in the dark ages - Cracker Jack(s) came in boxes with wonderful prizes. Over the years the prizes deteriorated in quality - or - I got older and they weren't quite as exciting as they used to be. Regardless, I always save them for Cowboy. Then the absolute worst thing happened. The manufacturers got rid of the boxes and packaged the delightful treat in bags. BAGS! Is that disgusting? And NO prizes!
I wrote my congressman. He was shocked to say the least.
Yesterday I was at the grocery store and ~sigh~ miracles actually happen! There, on the top shelf, way higher than my arm could reach... were BOXES of Cracker Jack(s) with PRIZES!
I dragged a grocery boy over and made him put EVERY box in my grocery cart and then I bought out their entire inventory.
"How come the seats in my SUV are sticky?" the giant Neanderthal asked later that evening when he came back from running errands. (His driver picked him up yesterday.)
I drive an old surplus Navy Jeep and it's hard to get the top on it without help. It was a bit chilly out and the pups and I had plans to eat real food at the Golden Arches and then enjoy a long run in the park so since Cowboy's SUV was available, I took it. The pups and I were very excited about the Cracker Jacks so after we stuffed ourselves on burgers, onion rings (fries for BullyBoy) root beer and milkshakes, we sat in the car and ate cracker jacks until we couldn't eat another bite. The pups tend to salivate mightily when they eat tasty things so some of their enthusiasm must have drooled onto the seats.
"Your car seats are sticky?" Sar, the innocent queried.
"What in blazes were you and the dogs eating? And why were you doing it in my car?"
Oh dear... this conversation could deteriorate.
"It was chilly out and I knew you'd want me to stay warm so I took your car when I went grocery shopping."
"You usually drive Bull's Hummer. Why not today?" the nosy man asked.
Because Cowboy's SUV had a full tank of gas, the Hummer was almost on empty. What a dumb question.
"I'm waiting for an answer, bambina."
Would you believe he crossed his arms over his chest? Tsk.
"Well?"
"Well? Ohhhhh deep subject."
SWAT!
Double tsk.
"You'll never guess what I found out today." I grinned, segueing aimlessly into another subject.
"Still waiting, Sar."
"Spinach is lethal and I have new Cracker Jack prizes for you. Isn't that great news?"
He nodded his head in understanding.
Tsk. It was like one of those toys you see in the back window of a car. Up... down... up... down... meaningless.
"Guess what else is news today?" he added.
"What?" the dumb-dumb side of my brain asked.
"Your tush is mine!"
Good thing I love him but I might just keep those Cracker Jack prizes for myself.
~Sar~
6 comments:
OK own up, who ate all the Cracker Jacks.
Your dogs have a good life with all the things you feed them.
Thanks Sar a good and of course funny post.
Warm hugs,
Paul. aka(zealous voyeur)
When I first hear the news, I turned to my hubby and said, "See I told you that stuff can kill you!" It didn't work on him either. I'll keep my eyes open for the cracker jack though!
Thanks for the laugh, Sar, I needed that.
That is great news about the Cracker Jacks!
Be careful, Sar, because someone will probably try to fix that spinach debacle. And there you'll be.
So. I'm just sayin.
laffsssssssss... who knew you could die from eating spinach????
and i would have thought that Cowboy would have been all happy, knowing you was taking care of your self and not getting cold or noffin... sheeshhhhhh!!!!
Needed this laugh sar, thanks
Hopes your end of summer is quiet ( who am i kidding) and loving ..
Take care , hugs all around
Valerie
Since I'm a newcomer I don't leave many comments but I actually thought of you first when I heard the spinach story on the news! Although I think you eat plenty of veg. I don't like pickles or salad. My son, however, is dating a vegetarian! Couldn't it have just been someone of a different faith or race??
No matter how crazy my days go I reward myself for making it through with one of your stories! Thanks!!
Elis
Elis from New Beginnings, said Eva from Nothing Random About a Spanking sent her here. Hence she sent me. I have laughed out loud. My favorite post are the laugh out loud ones! My son had told me about the spinach. But he was warning me not to buy any. Now that I think about it maybe it was a trick. He wasn't actually warning me, but maybe secretly he doesn't want to eat it. Anyway, I can't wait to tell him your take on the situation. Elis sent me here for the stories, but I enjoyed this post. I'll be back another time and check out some stories. I would like to ad your link to my post if that is ok? Of course once, I figure out how!!
Theresa
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