My Turn!

The imp's version of what occurs often omits salient facts.

We left Iceland intact and the Keflavik Naval Air Station is only slightly worse for wear. Their security was beefed up after the imp demonstrated her innocent smile and her skill with lock picks. My reputation as a no nonsense officer was severely damaged. Her innocent smile wins me over every time. I owe her a swat for that one.

When we arrived on base I received the salutes and greetings from those subordinate in rank as is military protocol. The 2 officers equal to me ignored me until they had greeted Sar. I felt like JFK did when he went to Paris with his wife and announced he was the man who escorted Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy. I was also invisible when we ate at the Officers Club. The chef went out of his way to ask Sar what she wanted to eat that he would personally cook for her. He ignored me.

The credit card company was so impressed with Sar's spending, they raised my limit. I owe her a swat for that one too.

D.C.: A few of my old Seal Team buddies were in town for the 4th as were other Seals from the time of my active duty in the Teams. It was great to spend time with them and remember events and people. I didn't object when Sar left us to our conversation but I thought she was going out to shop. I didn't realize she was going to the zoo.

Sar loves zoos and they are dangerous places for her to be by herself. She wants to adopt all the babies. Next, she wants to eat everything there is to eat. I'm wrong. She wants to eat first, adopt the animals second. I am grateful the zoo does not have one of those "give this animal a good home" programs. Exotic animals belong in zoos, not in my backyard and no, she's not getting a giraffe or any other creature that belongs to the jungle or the savanna or elsewhere in the wild.

The minute she walked in the hotel room I knew she had been to the zoo. She had the "full" look which she gets when she's been eating junk all day and she was "high." The zoo always makes her high. Between all those snacks and chocolate and seeing all those animals, Sar doesn't understand why people do drugs. Neither do I. I owe her another swat for eating all that junk.

We were able to see an impressive fireworks display even with the rain. Friends arranged for us to have seats on the covered deck of a paddleboat. From the Potomac, the view was outstanding. Sar was ecstatic with the show and I admit, watching her was better than watching fireworks.

When we got home I was the invisible man again. The pups were all over her and pretty much ignored me. This is ok with me. I gave them some time to reconnect and after a while I went out to the back deck to see how the love fest was going on. Sar was asleep on a deck chair with 5 pups dangling off the side of the chair or at her feet. This is how it is when you live with a "dog whisperer." I carried her inside and got her ready for bed.

The next morning I told her I owed her a spanking. She yawned in my face but if the UPS guy has to make twice daily deliveries, she's definitely in for one of those hand-to-butt discussions. Yeah, I'm a Neanderthal and proud of it!

Cowboy