The Facts

A couple days ago Sar had to appear for her jury summons. To get to the justice center in time, she had to be up by 0500 hours. My wife is not a morning person.

She set the alarm but from past experience I know it will wake her, she will turn it off and go right back to sleep. I'm generally up by 0515 hours so I woke her when I got up.

Wild horses--

Took her into the shower with me. Let me just say that Sar is probably the only person on the planet who can stand under a hard shower spray and fall back to sleep. If she wasn't leaning on me she probably would have slipped to the floor and curled up and slept despite the water beating down.

Got her dried off and dressed presentably. She slept through the whole thing.

She had planned to drive down to the justice center but even after forcing a bit of coffee down her throat, she was still in dreamland. Made arrangements to take care of some matters in downtown Seattle which is about halfway between our home and where she had to be. Tucked her into the car and drove her down there myself. Two hours later we pull up in front of the justice center and Sar wakes up. I get some coffee and muffins into her and park the car and am gratified that she can walk into the building under her own steam.

I ask her if she's awake. She says of course she is and why would I ask. I know better than to tell her. I roll my eyes. Sar says I need a couth boost.

I watch her go through security and tell her to have a good day and to call me when she's dismissed for the day. I don't think she heard me. She was already unwrapping a Twinkie as she got in the elevator to go to her assigned room.

She calls me in the middle of the day to say that a judge gave the jury orientation and he told a lot of jokes. Sar said he needs to keep his day job - none were funny and no one laughed. She offered him a Twinkie when he finished speaking and he took it. This does not bode well for the justice system.

She was selected with a pool of 50 others to fill out a questionnaire. A panel of 12 will be chosen from that pool. The case was sexual misconduct and Sar wanted to know what kind of sexual misconduct. She said she asked if it was rape, attempted rape, something else? I told her I hoped she didn't ask if it was kinky sex like spanking. Her immediate reply was we're kinky? Cool!

I pick her up an hour or so later. The attorneys have to go over the questionnaire and she's dismissed until the next day. She's already eaten an entire box of Twinkies, a couple of candy bars and now she's ready for lunch. It's a little late for lunch but there's a small Greek restaurant in the area I've been meaning to try and they're open all day so we go there.

Did I ever mention my wife weighs a bit over 100 lbs? That's about 7 stone. I don't know where she puts all that food but trust me when I say if you're eating at our table you better help yourself before she consumes all the good stuff.

We get the mixed Greek platter so we can sample everything and as soon as Sar tastes something she really likes, she tries to take my portion after she eats hers. I give up trying to keep some for myself but I let the waitress know to start packing an order to take home. Eventually, I'm going to get to eat more than Greek salad.

Greek salad. Sar eats the feta cheese and some lettuce with pita bread and dumps the rest of it onto my plate. I tell her I'm gonna spank her when we get home. She rolls her eyes and I laugh. I love to watch her eat. A woman with that kind of appetite has an appetite for more intimate things and I am a very lucky man.

Dessert is Greek cookies and Baklava and a special kind of rice pudding. Sar orders all of it and when she can't eat another bite, I pay the fairly large check. She sleeps all the way home.

The next day is a repeat. I get up at 0500 hours, get her dressed and while she sleeps, I drive her down to the justice center. She calls me about an hour later. The case was dismissed and her civic duty is complete. I can't pick her up for at least an hour and she says that's ok, she's gonna check out the shops across from the justice center. I don't have to ask where she'll be. If there's a food establishment in the shopping district, that's where I'll find her.

I find her in the bakery-coffee shop drinking a latte and sharing a table with an elderly man wearing a baker's apron. They're swapping recipes and both of them seem to be having a good time. Sar is taking bites out of a big array of pastries and commenting. The old guy is beaming. Good thing I'm already married to this gal or she might run away with this man.

I'm not disappointed she wasn't chosen for the jury panel. When attorneys ask prospective jurors particular questions, I think most answer honestly and with courtesy. Sar would be honest in her answers but she speaks from her gut. "Cut off his balls!" is not an acceptable answer to what to do with someone found guilty of sexual misconduct.

The justice system has no idea they just dodged a bullet.

Cowboy