Facts & Myths

Fact: Cowboy here.

Fact: The imp finally ran out of steam and is taking a much needed nap. She's been cooking/baking nonstop since Bull arrived. The meals are out of this world but she needs to slow down, do less and rest more.

Fact: Rain + sunshine = rain.
Fact: Light rain + sunshine = rain.

Myth: Sunshine + any kind of rain does NOT = no rain. I had to chase her down to get her out of the rain.

Fact: She's been sneezing since she went out into the *no rain* to romp with the pups.

Myth: My hand warming the imp's backside. Wanna bet?

Fact: My hand warming the imp's backside.

Myth: Sar agreeing she deserved a hot tush.

Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.

Fact: Tossed her over my shoulder and got on the scale. Put her down to weigh myself. Subtracted the difference. She's down 4 pounds she can't afford to lose.

Fact: My wife needs to gain weight, eat more calories and do less.

Fact: Told Bull to make sure she doesn't jog the regular 5 miles every day; 2 miles is plenty.

Myth: Sar readily agreed, then searched online for a few pigs that fly.

Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.

Fact: We have a major anniversary coming up this summer. Thinking about taking the imp to Europe as soon as I re-arrange my schedule.

Fact: Last time we were there, she went off on her own while I was on a conference call and got lost in the hill country in northern Italy. Eventually she called to ask me to come get her, I said where are you? Sar's response: I'm lost, it's hilly and everybody's speaking Italian.

Fact: Found her, warmed that little tush for a/leaving; b/scaring the hell out of me; c/because it made *me* feel better.

Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.

Myth: She's leaving me.

Fact: Medical appointment coming up. Sar has to go in every 3 months - she has intestinal concerns. The appointments keep us ahead of any problems that might crop up. Her high metabolic rate needs monitoring and the meds regulated to keep her healthy.

Fact: As soon as the imp's name appears on the schedule, lab techs put in for vacation. Medics too. Only the nurses seem to get a big kick out of those visits.

Myth: She sends food baskets to the nurses to ensure their cooperation. This actually might be factual. Bribing is an effective strategy.

Fact: A few years ago while I was at sea, Sar was in a serious accident, David took her to the hospital and stayed until she was stable. He said your wife can really kick ass. Uncertain whether I should be proud or remind myself to toast her butt after I got back.

Fact: The dogs were whining outside the bedroom door trying to worm their way in so they could be near the imp. She was asleep. Had to move her to the downstairs couch so they could check up on her every 30 seconds.

Myth: Sar will continue to nap/rest on the couch after I leave the house.

Fact: She'll use food to bribe Bull into letting her get up.

Fact: I will bust her bottom the second she gets off that couch.

Fact: I'm a Neanderthal, bully, barbarian, piss ant plus everything in between.

Fact: Almost certain there's no peach cobbler on the immediate horizon.

Cowboy