Hello!

Did you think I'd forgotten you? Been busy and probably doing too much but sometimes, life is like a drug. I can't stop doing! The freezer is full again, everything is spick and span and the yard is shaping up beautifully. Friends have been over for dinner, the dogs and cats are well and even the new pup, Hadrian, the Neapolitan Mastiff, is starting to behave like a dog that's had a little training.

The caveman I married, however...

"What are you doing imp?"

"Reading a book," I reply sweetly.

"That better be a novel," he yells from downstairs, "and not a 'how-to' by Harry Houdini."

I like to have an escape route planned in advance just in case I need to get out of Dodge in a hurry.

"We're going over to the Simmons' place for drinks later. I want you to be polite to Maddie Simmons."

"Uh huh."

"I mean it, babe," he says, his voice getting closer. (He must be coming up the stairs.)

Maddie Simmons is a repressed suffragette. When she lived in the "deep South," she was president of the local chapter of "Daughters of the American Revolution" and she named her own daughter Susan B in honor of Susan B. Anthony. I don't know the correlation between Susan B and the American Revolution, but no matter. She's a kook. She once asked if I wanted to join the temperance union... I think the lady has been sniffing too much aerosol spray.

"And wear a dress," Mr. Manners orders as he comes up behind me.

"Of course," I agree. I've got tight leather tap pants. I'll put a raincoat over them and Cowboy won't notice. Then, when I take the raincoat off, Maddie Simmons might faint and I won't have to endure her for very long. Her husband, an uptight deacon in his church, might have cardiac arrest. Oh goody! Two birds with one stone.

"And don't do anything funny!" Cowboy adds, picks me up by the waist and gives me a swat and then drops me back in my chair.

I hasten to cover up my Houdini book.

Moving right along...

I was away for a few days - in St. Louis - at a textile show. Asked a close friend from Chicago to meet me and come along for company. She can't sew and would kill herself if she picked up a needle but she's great fun to be with i.e., loves to eat, doesn't worry about calories and is a better kick boxer than I am. Cowboy called after we were there only 2 days to mention that the credit card company informed him that his credit card was smoking. Tsk. I switched to his other card.

When I got back I noticed that Hadrian, the Neo beastie seemed to have gained a LOT of weight while I was gone. I counted all the dogs and cats and checked to make sure all the neighborhood kids were still alive and kicking. That dog has an enormous appetite! He was so happy to see me he slobbered all over my shoes. I was happy to see him, too but the shoes are a total washout. I have to teach him to keep his head down while eating and drinking... that should reduce the slobber.

Met up with friends I have coffee with twice a week. We take turns hosting it at our homes. The last one was at the home of Patrick's girl friends house. Her mother is my friend; her daughter is Missy, the 7-year old hussy who has her eyes on my 9-year old Patrick. (Patrick has his own mother but I consider him mine.) I brought Key Lime pie - 6 of them. All four of us ate all six pies. 'Twas truly wonderful and I was too full to eat the takeout Cowboy brought home for dinner... eggplant parmesian...

SWAT!

"You filled up on junk food, didn't you?" the Neanderthal muttered when I concentrated on garlic bread and wine instead of that purple stuff.

Key Lime pie is not junk food but I chose not to mention that.

SWAT!

Tsk.

There are new folks in our neighborhood. I'm guessing that the cat that is serenading us on our fence at night belongs to them. My female cat has been neutered; the male cat is desperate to get out there and beat the beejeesus out of that feline interloper. And Tank and Panda, the outside Rotts keep standing on their hind paws trying to reach the noisy critter; they're always interested in a snack.

I think the cat is not long for this world - it's spring and the coyotes are out and hungry.

"You should tell those neighbors about their cat," Cowboy suggests while we listened to its song.

"Why? It's singing off key," I remarked.

SWAT!

My husband has lost his sense of humor.

David has deployed again. He says it will be a short trip, just a few weeks. Crossing my fingers on that one. I packed some snacks for him and he had the gall to say "behave" while I'm gone. Sure.

Okey dokey, have to go try on those tap pants for the visit to the Simmons'. Good thing I read that Houdini book. When Cowboy sees them I'm going to need that escape route.

~Sar~