The Time Has Come...

... the walrus said... to speak of other things.

Jeez Louise! On the one hand I love having the giant squid home. He cooks, orders take-out, cuddles and when he has work to do, settles me on the futon in my studio so my babies can get close enough for kissing. SweetPea and BullyBoy and I fit perfectly on the futon although BullyBoy's tail occasionally whacks the beejeebees out of SweetPea's hip which, in turn, makes the Rott mutter ugly words in his direction. This makes the giant Mastiff whimper which is just an act to get more attention. The old bloodhound sleeps on the rug and snores through the whole thing.

On the other hand, the giant squid is a bossy sort and more so when I'm not 100%. He still barks orders which I continue to ignore which tries his patience. Ha! You didn't know he had any! If he gets loud, BullyBoy stands on his hind legs and breathes lethal fumes in his face. Beer breath + doggie breath = near death. Even Navy Seals shudder at that combination. I use a lot of Binaca on that dog. Hmmm... maybe I should change the brand of beer he drinks.

So... the dominant cat in our house jumps on the futon and swats the Rott in the puss so the dog will make room for hefty 20-lb. cat. Rott says ugly word - cat hisses and spits - BullyBoy shoves both of them off the futon and I decide I'm feeling terrific and get dressed to go outside.

"Where do you think you're going, imp?" the direct descendant of Genghis Khan wants to know.

Egads! He's got eyes in the back of his head.

"I need some fresh air."

"You're gonna get some on your tush if you're not back in bed in the next five minutes, babe."

A moment of silence here as I try to come up with a witty retort.

"I've been house bound since forever," I announce, "and I'm about to climb the walls."

This is definitely not my wittiest retort.

"Three days is not forever," the anal retentive Neanderthal states. "Another day or two and you'll be much better and then you can go out."

This is supposed to make me feel better?

"Okey-dokey," I say agreeably and make a beeline for the back deck where my two outside Rotts are waiting. From there it's only a short run to the kennels where the foster pups can be released. I can play with them in the yard and the stodgy wanna-be medic in my house can simmer for a while. I know this because the phone rang - the line in his office - and that could take a while.

Oh JOY!

All the dogs get hugs and kisses and we play hide & seek and "catch me" in and around all the evergreens. Great fun and lots of tail wagging!

Until...

My tail... is suddenly way higher than it should be... over the giant squid's shoulder.

"Gotcha!"

Tsk!

Okay - short lived fun but worth it.

I know my face is a little flushed and my nose is cold but I have a feeling I'm gonna get warmed up soon. Not sure if I should be happy about this.

"What did I tell you?" he says as he meanders back to the house with ten dogs trailing us.

"You said something?" I ask in all innocence.

SWAT!

Tsk!

"You're going back to bed, imp."

Hooooo Boy! This is news!

SWAT!

Tsk!

"You going with me?" I'm ever hopeful.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to," he says so sternly I have to laugh.

SWAT!

Tsk!

"Gonna warm you up all over," he promises.

"I can live with that but I hope chocolate Twinkies are also on the menu."

SWAT!

Double Tsk!

And let's not forget... I'm an absolute saint!

~Sar~