Dread & Doom!

You ever see one of those eccentric guys that walk down city streets carrying a billboard sign that says, "Repent! The end of the world is coming." Well... His Holiness never says that but he acts as if "dread and doom" are imminent if I happen to wake up with the sniffles.

An occasional bout of the sniffles does NOT mean I'm coming down with a cold, bronchitis, or pee-numonia. I consider the sniffles to be the nose clearing its chambers same as one clears one's throat. Post nasal drip and all that.

"Yeah, yeah, drink this," the Neanderthal orders as he hands me a vile looking liquid in a short glass.

As if...

"Over my cold dead body!"

"Not gonna tell you again, imp. Drink!"

"Kill!" I yell to the dogs and make a run for it.

"When I catch you, you're not gonna sit for a week!" he yells back as he tries to disentangle himself from close to 300 lbs. of dog fur and cold muzzles and tongues licking his face.

Such a precious picture seeing him on the floor with my pups. I'd take a picture if I wasn't in a big hurry to get the hell out of Dodge.

When I'm anxious to get out of his line of fire, I skip the stairs and slide down the banister. I'm out the back door, across the yard and my outside Rotts - Tank and Panda - come charging toward me. Jeez. COLD noses but sweet warm kisses. I promise to come back and love them up later but right now, I spy a giant squid coming out the backdoor and he doesn't look friendly.

Thinking...

Up a tree or in the Rott kennel? Which is safer?

I go for the tree and am almost high enough to be out of his reach when he yanks on the bottom of my pajamas! DIRTY POOL!

My jammies come down! He laughs. I am mortified and I tell him he'd better eat out for the rest of the week.

"How dare you!" I yell.

"Easily," he laughs.

"There are laws against this," I tell him.

"Not in my house," the giant squid retorts and a couple of hard swats later, covers my bare bottom with his excessively large paw... er, hand... and we go back into the house.

Unfortunately, I still have the sniffles.

"Where were we?" he asks as he gives me one of those smug male grins.

"You know... sniffles could be allergies. Lots of stuff in bloom."

I know, I know. It was a feeble attempt but when you're already facing dread and doom, you try anything.

And then... I SNEEZED! TWICE!

Acckkkkkk!

"That's what happens when you run in the backyard barefoot on the cold grass in the morning and wearing next to nothing."

"YOU were the one who pulled my jammies down."

"And I'm the one who is gonna warm your tush."

"You're a Neanderthal!"

"Uh huh."

"You know there are other ways to warm me up."

"Like what?" said with a big grin.

I made a few suggestions.

He liked them. *smiles*

And the band played on.

~Sar~