February is winding down; I hate to see it end. We've had an absolutely glorious month filled with good food, lots of chocolate, amazing "stuff," and lots of extra special times. We've been swing dancing, tango-ing at a supper club, rode the dinner train that goes through the Cascade Mountain Range, spent a weekend at Whistler's Lodge in British Columbia, and had several memorable sleigh rides. I know you'll be amazed to hear that one can be very naughty under cover of a lap robe on a sleigh. It seems I'm more flexible than I realized.
I have new lingerie and the giant squid has a much finer appreciation for bits of silk and satin and lace. Several nights in a row he decided he didn't need a cardio workout the next day. LOL (However, our water bill is exceptionally high this month.)
A couple dropped by a few nights ago - we've known them for years. They're not close friends but acquaintances we see once in a while.
He's a smoker - Strike One!
She's a vegetarian - Strike Two!
I save green things for her to eat and if she shows up before they turn into science experiments in the refrigerator, fine. If not, she sticks to cheese and crackers or buttered toast. Tsk.
Cowboy says I could easily whip up a veggie and dip platter when they show up if I didn't constantly throw the veggies to the crows. Uh huh. I told him I could do that but the crows were depending on me.
SWAT!
Tsk.
The guy is a chain smoker. He has to do without nicotine while in my house or smoke on the back deck. I don't give an inch on this. Bad enough he stinks like a chimney. Cowboy goes out with him so the guy can have a cigarette. I'm stuck with Ms.GreenBeans who wants to know how I can possibly eat meat...
Er... with a knife and fork and A-1 sauce, although if I'm starving and no one is watching and especially if it's filet mignon, I pick that sucker up and dip it in sauce and eat it with my fingers.
"But... but... that's what the dogs do!" she postulates.
"No... the dogs don't have fingers and they skip the A-1 sauce."
"You should stock soy foods and tofu for your vegan guests like me," she lectures.
"The only soy food I have is soy sauce and tofu is not something I want my pups exposed to," I tell her. "I have standards." I say this as I open a box of Twinkies for my babies. All my pets love Twinkies - even the cats come running.
She drones on about tofu and my mind wanders to other more mouth watering delicacies - Twinkies dipped in melted chocolate, Twinkies in melted caramel and fried. swoon Twinkies instead of bananas in a banana split...
"What?" I just realized Ms.GreenBeans asked me a question.
"I said, did you know that tofu comes from Japan?"
"Well, that's earth shattering news," I say. "Aren't they the same folks that slaughter whales?"
Naturally, His Holiness comes back into the house as I make that pronouncement.
SWAT!
Tsk.
"I'd consider buying tofu if they'd leave the whales alone."
SWAT!
Tsk.
Fun-Gooch!
SWAT!
Tsk.
Do you sense a pattern here?
Fortunately they leave before I stuff Ms.GreenBeans' face in A-1 sauce.
"I want you to have some vegetables on hand when they come over next time," the giant squid frowns as he watches me share Twinkies with the 4-legged family members.
"Sure," I'm agreeable. "What do you think she'd like? Tomatoes, cucumbers or green peppers? Do ya suppose she eats them whole or likes to cut them into small pieces?"
SWAT!
Tsk.
"Just for that, I'll give her raw asparagus and Brussels sprouts," I shout as I flee from the room, the dogs following me since I've got the rest of the Twinkies in my hands.
"Gonna warm your butt," the giant squid yells as he gives chase.
"You and what Army?"
"ARMY?"
For some reason, Naval officers are very sensitive about being lumped with other branches of the military. They're especially sensitive about the Army.
He caught me.
Just as the wrath of doom was about to descend, I reminded him what we did with plum tomatoes one afternoon when we had too much wine and lots of time and I had to change the bed linens anyway. The spanking was brief and sweet and stuff ensued and I really should write a snippet about those plum tomatoes. Every time I see them in the grocery store, I giggle and the giant squid whispers how he's gonna turn my butt tomato red if I don't buy some and do what I did that wild wicked afternoon.
I'm so pleased he appreciates my creativity.
~Sar~
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Hi Sar,
How does fried green tomatoes strike you? Buy the tomatoes needed, once they ripen you can use them in homemade salsa if she hasn't "dropped by". I'm sure there must be some redeeming qualities about tofu, other than the fact that it is supposed to be good for you. I just haven't found them yet. Perhaps a box of soy peanuts?lol Yeah, she won't be back for a while after trying those!
Personally, I like the dancing much more than entertaining the lecturing Mrs. Veggie.
It sounds as if you have had a very special, beautiful month of lovin'. I hope your month becomes a year and then a lifetime.
Happy Twinkie Days,
Spoze2b
Or buy some canned wasabi dried peas. My Texas friend who usually loves really hot stuff just about choked on them. They're so hot that it should shut her up for a while. Besides, they're from Japan, too!
Sar, you brighten my February, a dull cold month where I am.
May all your months be as filled with chocolate and love as February is and all your years be as beautiful as you. :-)
I can understand a navy man not enjoying being lumped with the army, they don't like that over here either.
Warm hugs.
Paul
OK, now I am all curious but unable to think of anything Sar-enough to do with plum tomatoes. If it isn't a state-squid secret, >WHAT< on earth did you do with them that caused this reaction?
Can commiserate bout the army/navy issues - my beloved is army, my boss is ex navy and my office-mate is ex raf (airforce)
Makes life fun and interesting..... and for some reason also leads to spankings!
cuddlybum
(PS I love this blog - really brought some light into an otherwise damp and dreary February!)
Yessss! A new blog! My uncle was air-force and I taunted him about the army. He was 6'4 and had NO sense of humor. Of course, I was 18 and "cute as a button" so I got away with it heh heh.
Why can't Mz, Drop-Over bring a dish with her? Veggans I've seen can be down-right nasty about their beliefs (not that she is)but if its so important, bring a dish :)))) How rude to tell you what to have ready for guests! Except, er, I do happen to have a propensity for medium to mild spankings, non-sexual, and mmmm, *sigh*, I guess I DO tell my friend what to have ready sometimes *grinssss* ;) Thank you for all your great posts.
shaylyc
Tomatoes? Don't they sqwish? Get her a cucumber and when the squid isn't around, tell her where to put it. LOL Debbie
LOL! You're so funny.
I made a note to write a snippet about those plum tomatoes. Very naughty stuff but sooo satisfying. Soon, I hope.
~sar~
Post a Comment