Err... well... for my tush anyway.
Here I am, having been saintly for soooooo long and ZAP! In an instant, all my saintliness flushed down the commode. It's almost enough to make me give up Twinkies.
The giant squid is acting like a baboon butthead! And I told him so. So there! And let me just add that was not the smartest thing I've ever said to someone who is 6 feet 5 inches tall and has a hand as large as any I've ever seen. Truly, it's a very sad state of affairs.
It's "Run Amok Week!"
And he doesn't care.
I care.
Ya see... it's like this: Santa has completed his annual trek around the globe and is resting...
Mrs. Claus has shredded the 2005 "naughty vs nice" list. The new list doesn't begin until January 1, 2006.
Which means...
December 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, & 31, 2005 = 6 days when Santa isn't keeping track of who is naughty and who is nice!
It's a FREE zone!
We are free to run amok without fear of retribution! And since Santa isn't taking notes, then it's obviously a run amok/spank-free week.
I look forward to this week all year long and His Holiness, who is currently grumpy about something is being very "ghost of past run amok weeks" because... hmmm... because... well... there was that time when I was mad at him and put a little too much dye in the washing machine and his white boxers ended up more carmine than pink and he was in summer whites at the time and it was Christmas in July... sort of... and... For fear he would match my tush with his boxer shorts, I... um... took a leisurely ride - about 6 hours away - to the end of the earth on this side of the planet. And even though I feared I'd fall off the edge... that didn't scare me half as much as the giant squid's excessively hard and heavy hand painting my tush carmine.
Oyyyyy, I've lost my train of thought. A tush painted the color of his port wine does that to me. By the time he caught up with me, I was in deep doo-doo but he was so happy to see me, I got lots of cuddling and loving. The spanking that followed wasn't as bad as it might have been. He was more upset about my taking off for a few days than his deep red boxer shorts. Err... he had to buy more undies so he could get through the summer without being snickered at. He must have dozens of boxers... maybe I should buy more dye... just in case. Hmmm.
One "run amok" week I managed to get David's email password - don't ask - and I sent a "Nobody loves me" email to a few websites... the kind that cater to men loving men. Two years later, the sexy devil dog still gets offers. (Frankly, I think I'm way too good to this man.) The giant squid accused ME of sending that email! Can you believe that? Err... the question was rhetorical; you don't have to reply.
If that wasn't bad enough, Herr Baboon Butthead also accused me of sending a large spinning top to the base commandant for Christmas. (The base commandant is ALWAYS spinning his; everyone says so.) Not true! I made sure it arrived *after* Christmas.
And then... the piece de resistance of "run amok" weeks was the weekly flower bouquet I sent myself with love notes attached. His Holiness was furious! And jealous! And demanded to know who they were from. I told him I sent them, of course - which I had - but he didn't believe me! Oh! That was so much fun. After much contemplation, the giant squid decided I needed far more attention and gave me the kind I wanted.
Um... let me add that it's possible I shouldn't have charged all those flowers to his credit card... When the bill arrived I just happened to be at the mall waxing enthusiastic over the shoes on sale and then the chocolate shoppe across the aisle had samples of imported goodies and by the time I got home - with shoes and chocolate... Is there a better combination than that? I was flying pretty high.
He never said anything else about the flowers but he did warm my butt over the bill - tsk. He did add that he wanted to match the color of my tush to the color of the flowers but hey! I didn't just fall off a turnip truck! I had ordered *white* flowers and a just a few that were very very lightly stained pink. Whewwww. The butt warming I got for the bill stung like the dickens but there's something to be said for feeding one's ardor on a bed of petals. ~ sigh~
Soooo when I announced it was "run amok" week, he rolled his eyes and unfortunately, also rolled his sleeves. Aacckkk! I might have to run away again.
~Sar~
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8 comments:
Giving up your Twinkies Sar, you cannot be serious.:-)
Run amok week, that's a new one on me, my brat never pulled that one.
Lovely post dear Sar, if you do run away for a while do take your laptop with you, that way you won't disappoint your friends and readers.
Your Cowboy needs a hard hand, the amount of exercise you give it.
I wish you everything you wish yourself, dear girl.
Warm hugs. :-)
Paul. aka zealous voyeur.
laffsssss.. gotta love it!!!!!
run amok week!!!! If you ever wander off to the end of the earth via Cleveland Sar, let me know, will wander off wif yea!!!!!
hugs to all... Have a wonderful New Year to you and your Cowboy
Valerie (uni)
Good Lord, Sar. You don't mind tempting fate, do you? However, I like the sound of "run amok week". That definitely has interesting possibilities! I only have three days left, but, oh, what I can accomplish in three days. I'll have to get busy on that today. Better tell my "philosophy warrior" to read here so he understands the rules-it is like a get out of jail free card if he plays by the rules.
On second thought, he does not need to pick up any habits from Cowboy. He has more than enough ideas of his own.
A safe and sane New Year's to you both,
Spoze2b
I have no clue how you get so many wonderful ideas, but I wish I had only half your talent.
Although, if I got into half the trouble you did, Prince Charming would probably get me back twice as good, because not only is he much better at being naughty than I am, he's also much more patient than I am.
Happy New Year!
I am speechless but with a big grin...speechless lol
shaylyc
Well Sar, the countdown has begun. Only fifteen or so hours left on "run amok week". My warrior was not amused. I was accused of being philosophically impaired. My ammends begin at 12:01 A.M. "so we start the year right." Yeah, right.
Have a good one,
Spoze2b
What? Poor Cowboy? Wait just a cotton pickin minute! What about my tush? Tsk.
The giant squid has actually been very patient during run amok week. Over here, on the Pacific coast, I still have a little more than 12 hours to play havoc with his patience. He says I'm gonna pay for this. Yeah, right. He's a big wuss and wouldn't do anything to risk damaging his playing field. Err... I think I got that right.
I've promised him that I'll be dressed as the New Year "baby" with a red bow, etc. We plan to welcome 2006 in front of the fire with wine, warm melted chocolate and raspberry sauce and "stuff."
Wishing you a safe and joyous New Year!
~Sar~
I'd like to propose a calendar-year statute-of-limitations law? To wit:
"There shall be NO spanking in the Calendar year 2006, beginning at 12 am, january 1, 2006, for ANYTHING that occured in the previous calendar year, up to and including Run Amok Week, and SPECIFICALLY including any otherwise spankable offenses that may have occured at a certain New Year's Eve party before 11:59 pm, December 31st, 2005."
Well, it didn't work out that way here, but still ..it oughta be a rule!
Your blog is wonderful Sar ---thank you!
:o)
BJ
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