Civilization

Civilization can be described in so many ways. There are times when Cowboy is so involved in something or other on the base that he reverts to Cro-Magnum man. I take this as an opportunity to participate in his caveman ways and I grill a lot of meat for our dinners. If he has a need to unwind, I toss the meat onto the outdoor grill and let him have his way with it.

This makes my pups use this time to bond with him, sitting close to his side as he turns the meat. He grumbles that they're not getting any but even he and I together cannot eat 8-10 pounds of meat... We have 5 dogs and 2 flesh-eating cats so nothing is going to waste.

I throw some potatoes on the grill and we feast like they did back in the Paleolithic caveman age. Not sure when Cro-Magnum man existed but it was one of those pre-historic-kill-the-dinosaur-before-it-kills-you-and-pass-the-mammoth ribs-please times.

Occasionally, his wits return...

"What about vegetables?" he asks.

"Vegetables?" I simply hate it when he wants to ruin a perfectly good meal with green things.

"Can't live on meat alone, babe."

Sure we can.

SWAT!

Tsk!

"Which veggie are we having, Sar?"

"A civilized one," I replied as I placed a bowl of cherry tomatoes on the table along with an assortment of olives and pickles.

There are civilized vegetables and there are uncivilized vegetables. I eat a number of raw veggies - not too crazy about cooked veggies and refuse to ingest any veggie that is not identifiable, reeks of nutriments, stinks, or doesn't slice easily with a knife. Ergo: I do not touch collard greens, brussels sprouts, turnips, or fiddleheads, among others. I am positive some of them are fungi in disguise. Not too crazy about broccoli or asparagus either. Cauliflower is okay if it's mashed and smothered in butter.

Civilized veggies are lettuce, tomatoes, cukes, radishes, sweet carrots, onions, olives, pickles, green peppers, artichoke hearts, palm hearts, and potatoes. Beets are okay if they're pickled like cucumbers. Spinach has to be raw and fresh and in a salad with mushrooms and endives - abhor cooked spinach.

"I wouldn't mind some creamed spinach," the Cro-Magnum man says.

"I wouldn't mind a new car and a new computer," I reply sweetly. "What are the chances of that?"

"Not good," he smiles. "At least, not good at the moment."

"That's how I feel about creamed spinach, squid."

SWAT!

Tsk!

"What's for dessert?"

"Cheesecake, of course."

"No cheesecake until you eat a green veggie, imp."

"No problem," I reply and dig into the pickles...

New topic:
Speaking of caveman times... When I was an undergraduate all students were required to take a course in physical science. I remember that one of the questions on the final exam was to list the ages of man. A friend and I had studied and memorized all this trivia and somewhere along the way, someone told us an alliteration to help us remember.

"Every Old Man Plays Poker Regularly." The first letter of each word represents the answers: Eocene, Oligocene, Miocene, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and I forget what the "R" stood for. Vaguely, I recall there was also a Paleocene, Decene, Epicene, and a Neocene.

My friend had a memory like a sieve so she couldn't remember what the letters stood for. I remember that she passed with flying colors because she sat next to a very smart person...

Back to first topic:

So... since I wasn't keen on eating any veggies with my grilled steaks... I waited until it was time to eat dessert and when the Cro-Magnum squid arched a brow and said I couldn't have any 'cause I didn't eat any veggies... I stripped.

When I had his complete and undivided attention, I yelled to the pups to "kiss the squid" and when they leaped up to smooch him, I grabbed the cheesecake and ran into the house.

"When I get my hands on you!"

"Promises, promises."

I scarfed about a third of it down before he caught up with me.

Cheesecake was GOOD!

Spanking was teasing.

The rest was lovely.

~Sar~