His Holiness had night duty the other night, not something he does often any more but a matter needed his attention and he elected to get it done when things were quieter at the base.
I have occasional bouts of insomnia and sleep even less when he's not at home. I'm used to sleeping with his large paw around me and even though it's annoying to hear him growl in his sleep when I try to get out of bed in the middle of the night, it's one more constant that I'm used to.
So... years ago I made a giant squid clone to take to bed with me. It slept with me every time Cowboy went off to sea and sleeps with me whenever the squid is on night duty.
I think he's jealous.
Cowboy's clone is a soft-cloth doll, almost 5 feet tall and when I presented him to Cowboy as a Christmas present eons ago, he thought it was cute. He didn't expect me to sleep with it.
Usually the clone is dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, loafers without socks and underneath, it's wearing boxers. Did I mention when I made him... I made him anatomically correct?
Mama mia!
When he... er... it sleeps with me, it's only wearing boxers. I call him Cowpoke. I snuggle back into its chest, put its arms around me and I sleep better.
So... Cowboy comes home after night duty - about 6 a.m. and there I am in bed with his clone.
Tsk.
To say he wasn't thrilled to see me in bed with another... even though that "other" was him... is an understatement. Poor Cowpoke. He... er... it was violently thrown across the room, hit the wall, slid to the floor and ended up all twisted, arms and legs and private parts - peeking out from under the boxers - tsk and double tsk.
The pups, hearing the commotion, rushed into the room and dragged poor Cowpoke out by the neck.
"KILL!" Cowboy yells.
Tsk.
Cowpoke has had a most unorthodox autopsy.
"Now who am I going to sleep with?" I asked.
"Me!" the Neanderthal announced and gave me a SWAT!
"What was that for?"
"You looked like you were enjoying yourself too much. I don't want you sleeping with that thing any more!"
I can barely type. I'm giggling so much. The giant squid is jealous of his clone. I'll just have to make another one I guess.
SWAT
Double tsk.
~Sar~
8 comments:
I bought a body-pillow cover, stuffed it with 4 regular pillows so it's nice and firm. It's what I sleep with when I have to sleep alone. Hadn't thought of sewing 'arms' onto it... thanks for the idea Sar!!! Jim laughs at me sleeping with it when he's not here, wonder if he'll still laugh if it can 'cuddle' back LOL.
This is way past funny...really cool LOL
shaylyc
perhaps if you'd made Cowpoke a little less... ahem... anatomically correct... Cowboy wouldn't be quite as jealous?
Men and their jealous streaks!
am with shay, this was one of your best......
laffsssss and hugs.....
Valerie
Oh Sar, you really cheered me up, and I needed it, lovely dear girl.
Warm hugs,
Paul. aka (zealous voyeur)
Cute blog, Sar.
I remember reading that particular story about you making the doll. I didn't know his name was Cowpoke. Where ever did you come up with that name. Are you going to be able to use any of Cowpoke's spare parts? If so, I won't say a word to you know who.
Marie
Giggles and grins Sar. Great use of your creative talents! Perhaps that is why I bought that body pillow years ago. Doesn't get much use these days, but when he is out of town, I dig it out. Soft and squishy isn't quite the same, but there are times when "It'll Do".
Chuckles,
Spoze2b
I have a body pillow, as well. It's not even close to the real thing, but hey--who was it that said "Any port in a storm"? Well, it's not the Ritz, but it'll keep ya dry, right? errr...well..it'll help ya sleep ~nods~
Men and their little insecurities ~eye roll~ After all, it's not like Cowpoke is gonna ride off into the sunset with you..~sly grin~ giddyap?
-Miki
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